Am I in an abusive relationship?

Alright so I'm in a relationship with this guy who:
-forces me to give him the passwords to my social media accounts
-doesn't allow me to talk to my friends
-tells me he hates me
-tells me that he hates how "needy" I am
-tells me he's going to replace me soon
-only starts to say he hates something when he finds out I like it
-says I'm an attention whore
-doesn't respect me
-uses me
-ignores me
-says he wouldn't really care if I died
-threatens me
He does tell me he loves me and I'm scared to leave him because I truly love him

Updates:
2mo I feel like I should add that I have developed severe depression as a result of being in this relationship and the guy is 7 years older than I am

0|0
15|8

Most Helpful Guy

  • no u are in a good health relationship
    i wish i can slap you to wake u up ofc its abusive leave jim damn it

    2|2
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Honestly, I know I'm being abused. But I put up with it because my confidence is non existent and I don't think I can get anyone better

    • 2mo

      its better to be single than in this relatioship
      15 year very young

    • 2mo

      If a decision seems too overwhelming to you, just take smaller ones.

      For example instead of thinking about if you are going to stay with that person or not, decide things like:

      - What things I value more in a partner?
      - How I will react if a person threatens me?
      - What if I don't feel like spending the time as that person wants?
      - Knowing what I now know, would I get into this situation again?

      Just by deciding easy small things the situation will fall apart naturally. Just by taking a bit of power back, you will take all of it.

      https://youtu.be/cQu1yA0k87U

Most Helpful Girl

  • "He does tell me he loves me and I'm scared to leave him because I truly love him"
    That doesn't mean anything. Everyone says that, and it may seem very obvious to you that you "love" him but you'll see that you can feel the same things for many different people. I also used to claim to "love" my ex so much but now that I cut him off completely I'm just like "Was I crazy all that time?". I don't see anything lovable in him anymore, not even a tiny bit. Trust me, it fades away.

    What you are describing here is terrible and it's a vicious circle because the more abuse you accept now you more there will be in the future.
    I read in one of the opinions that you don't think you can get anyone better because you have low self-esteem. Well, you'll reinforce this silly idea by staying with him. It's paradoxical because you are staying with him to gain something you don't think you would get with someone else (some kind of an ego satisfaction about feeling accepted; not being lonely etc.) but he is reinforcing everything you want to avoid by staying with him.
    You are still young, you'll evolve and your perception of yourself is very likely to change, especially at that age. But only if you can be at peace with yourself and that can't be done by staying with him.

    I was also in an abusive relationship and I only progressively started realizing the breadth of the damage it has caused in me months later after I left. I knew it was abuse, but some part of me was covering it up and making it seem "not that bad after all". That may be your case as well, but just move on.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • do yourself a favour and get rid of him
    a few years from now you will have 0 self esteem left in you if you let this continue

    1|1
    0|0
  • Why in hell you agreed to give him your passwords?

    It is like giving someone a spy cam for recording everything you do, and give permission to go to your bank and get your money. I won't do that even with the people I trust the most, also because it would be risky for them.

    1|0
    0|0
  • and your still in a relationship with him -_-
    for the love of God, how many more signs do you need to dump his ass?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dump the cunt

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is abusing you. I would leave the relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • please move the hell away from him. He doesn't deserve you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ladies and gentlemen save your breath. Nothing to do here.

    "He does tell me he loves me and I'm scared to leave him because I truly love him"

    This is the case of a girl who knows what she needs to do. She knows. YOU KNOW MATE. There is nothing we say here that you haven't thought of, read about or heard that hasn't been told to you before. You recognize your relationship is abusive. This is something you at least have that may help you in the distant future.

    I sincerely do wish you the best in finding the courage to leave what you find familiar. I think more so than love you're stuck because the feeling of familiarity.

    Leave this guy before things get worse. THIS IS YOUR best option. It's up to you to listen before you truly regret what the future may hold for you mate.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 14

  • What the fuck are you doing? The man is 22. If he isn't treating you like a gentleman, then leave. He shouldn't be dating a child in the first place. Please, walk away while you still can. "Love" is a strong word and rarely means anything in this world.

    I'm not trying to be mean about your decisions. I myself am "dating" a 41 year old. Maybe 42. He says he "loves me" every single day, but I never believe it, and I have no reason to. A grown man cannot love a child in that way. He's using me, and I think that man you're dating is using you. I can't leave because he's all I have, but you can.

    If he's controlling you now, it isn't going to get better. My mother's ex started abusing her gradually. First he would tell her not to see her friends or drink at the bar. Then, he'd fight with her whenever she got drunk. He lived with us for a year. At the end of a year, we had holes in 3 of our doors and he was threatening to kill my family. He'd choke and hit my mom, and yell awful words at her. My mother cut him out of our life when he threatened to put his hands on me and called me a "little shit." Please, just leave. Don't allow yourself to go through that.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Yes you are in an abusive relationship! Please don't be scared to leave him! I know it hurts to lose someone you love, but love is not controlling your every move!

    This guy sounds incredibly controlling and he keeps putting you down. He says he's going to replace you soon and that he hates every thing you like. He also threatens you. That is not okay!

    I had a boyfriend like this one, and it was terrible! So glad I got out! You deserve to be with someone who loves and supports you, not controls you!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Uh... Did you read the things you type up? Think of it this way: if you had a daughter and she said this was the relationship she was in, how would you feel about it. He's not good news. If he says he's going to replace you, then you may as well get the last word and leave. He doesn't deserve you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • The fact that you even have to ask blows my mind. You don't love him, you love the idea of him. Life is too short for hateful, shitty and abusive people. Dump him.

    0|1
    1|0
  • Yes, sounds like you are. Get out of there.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes that is a very abusive and toxic relationship. How could you love such a monster? If he loved you, he wouldn't treat you like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 15 and in a relationship with someone seven years older...

    If he's had sex with you that's pretty much considered rape by the law, regardless.

    And yes. That is an abusive relationship get the fuck out of it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes you most definitely are in an abusive relationship and it will only get worse as time goes on. Frankly at your age and him being 7 years older it's also illegal.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just sounds like an asshole not an abuser so really its on you for staying with him. "Forces you to give him social passwords"? Your an adult no one csn force you to do anything honey.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Run fast. Go tell your parents they can help you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No sweetie, that's what a regular loving relationship looks like.

    On a serious note: Get out like yesterday.

    0|0
    0|0
  • End it now. You're 15 so he is too old for you. Tell your parents and keep away from him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Woa woah 😳 get out of this !

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hell yeah that's abusive. Dump him. NOW.

    0|1
    1|0
Loading...