Is it bad that I feel bad for having feels for my ex while with my new gf?

So my new girlfriend is perfect she everything my mom every wanted for herself out of a relationship n half of everything i every wanted. am only saying this so everyone can see how perfect this girl is. I do love her and i feel bad that i still have strong feels
For my ex and may always love her. i just move on since life tooo short to wait on anyone. So i dated around for a year forced myself to date mylast girlfriend.. for awhile i couldnt find a connection with anyone till i met my current girlfriend gina.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why be with someone unless they are incomparable to your ex?

    I would never waste my time like that. Im with someone because they are 10x better and sexier than my previous relationship.

    If you are going backwards then maybe you aren't developing enough as a person during the time you are single.

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    • 2mo

      I don't think you understand what am saying maya.. am not talking about the relationship being better. which by the way this one is 100% better then the old and am not talking about the person being sexier thats just shallow if u ask me. What am talking about maya is feelings how you feel when your with the person... how u feel commotion the connection you have with them. Am man enough to say i still love my ex and may always be but not 1 to say she was perfect or could do no wrong or make her seem like some kind of angel. I known a few older guys who are happy married who say they are still in love with a few ex's but would never date them. It's just my ex was the first girl i was in love with so i compair a lot of feelings i think i should feel with how i felt when i was in love with my ex. I have only been with 4 girls in my life 1. a girl name julie was a friends with benefits thing i realize i didn't want that. 2. Was My first girlfriend. 3. Was a girl named linda that i realized i forced myself to like. 4. Was gi

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    • 2mo

      I understand but I mean the person you marry should be the most intense love so far. Incomparable to the love you felt for your ex.

      It's not about the first love but the last love, if that makes sense?
      Lots of people settle and that's just sad for everyone involved.
      Even if you are happy, wouldn't it be better to say, "My wife is the love of my life and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't know love before I met her"
      than to say, "I still care for my exes but am happy with my wife"

    • 2mo

      Yea i 1 get what your saying it makes sense so what should i do? i can't say thay love i habe with gina is as intense as what i have with my ex but i wouldn't trade gina for my ex pauline. I now understand that i have a certain idea of what love is and should feel like becuase of my ex so i gotta let go of that idea and what i think i should feel and start freash. but with gina my relationship truly is better with my ex her parents were the main problem. When i was with my ex we never went kn 1 date with out her sister even through she was 20 years old we couldn't even go outside for a walk alone long story. But with gina i have the freedom to do all this m more.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it's bad. It's bad because you are lying to Gina about your feelings for her. If you are still wishing for your ex, then you need to stop pretending with Gina. Gina may be perfect, but she's not perfect for you. Do not date Gina to please your mom. How long ar your going to keep this up? Until you are married to a woman you don't love? Do the right thing, and tell Gina that iyou are sorry, but it's not the right time for you.

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    • 2mo

      No am honest with gina she knowns this and you got what i said wrong so let me repeat what i mean. Gina is the first girl that i have felt any feeling for at all since my ef girlfriend.. i posted thus question becuase am afarid am gonna fuck things up with gina or that am unable to get that crazy in love feeling anymore. I do love gina there is spark she makes me happy she just doesn't even me that am. On drugs high feeling

    • 2mo

      Well there's feelings and then there's FEELINGS. I still care about many of my ex-girlfriends in the sense that I hope they are well and happy, and there are a couple that I would like to talk to once in a while. But I don't wish I were back together with them. If you are still missing your relationship with your ex, then I don't think Gina is the one for you. There was something you had with your ex and you won't be satisfied until you have it again.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you're going to end up hurting the girl Gina because it seems you don't really want HER yourself but you're in love with the idea that your mom approves of her deeply. Obviously you think your mom is perfect and you love her dearly (bless you) so if your mom thinks Gina is perfect and good for you then she must be really. Its kinda like you feel obligated to stay with her for your mom's sake but your heart isn't really into it. Hopefully i helped... good luck.

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    • 2mo

      O no no no my mom far from perfect i was just trying to say i have everything thay everyone's says that want out of a relationships. Also that i compair a lot of feelings that i had when i was in love with my ex to any new girls so i won't hurt them. I mean shouldn't being in love Agin feel the same? 1 girl said thisThe way you felt with your ex and your current girlfriend is always going to be different. You can't compare each girl to the one prior. Different girl, different emotion. I don't believe you're entirely over your ex if you still talk about her like this.

    • 2mo

      Fair enough but you need to be honest with Gina... plus i can guarantee you this "No woman likes being compared" because what makes you want to compare is the difference in them which can never be changed. If she knew you were comparing her she's gon' start thinking "what am i doing wrong that he felt the need to compare to another woman , his ex no less" And as for loving you ex still, well... there's not much you can do about that coz you never really stop loving someone unless you never did. The best that can happen is that the type of love changes to friendly or brotherly love but love nevertheless and that's the closest its probably ever gon' get.

    • 2mo

      Am compairing feels not the 2 people but i feel what is happening is that becuase of my ex girlfriend i have a idea what love is supposed to be. But really am starting to think no love is the same so i won't feel all or most of the feelings i felt for my ex when i was in love with.. my new girlfriend gina even if i fall in love with her. In fact tbh am starting to do i won't even notice when i fall in love for gina.. Don't worry am always honest with her about everything and i always tell her if something bugs you enough tell me even if it gonna hurt my feelings.

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