Is it terrible I'm only attracted to men twice my age?

Please no hate and when I say this I'm serious looking for advice. Thank you

I'm only 20 and I've tried dating different guys my age but I'm just not interested. If I'm out walking around and I see an attractive man he's always at least in his mid 30s never have I seen a guy my age and thought "Wow I like that"
If I'm talking to younger men I tend to get bored where as if I'm talking to a much older man that I like I get the whole butterflies and so forth.
Basically I just want to know if this is normal? I haven't acted on any of these feelings because I fear It'll be frowned upon

(These are regarding both physical and emotional attraction)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have seen these sorts of "is it normal" questions many times on GAG, and while there are many guys who will often revert to the idea that younger women being attracted to older men is a scenario which points towards "Daddy" issues. I don't always believe that is the case. To be sure there will be some ladies out there that seem to be trying to fix daddy issues. However I would like to believe more often than not, it simply comes down to preferences.

    I believe that, based on what you have described that it is your preference to seek out older men, which is completely fine, as to why this has become your presence? Well as you have indicated, much of this attraction is based on both appearances as well as maturity. While it's not impossible, it is somewhat of a challenge to be wise when you are young, as there are many lessons in life, which in order for them to be completely learned must be experienced and you can't get that level of experience until you have lived a little. Other factors which play into this attraction are the fact that older men are generally more stable and established in their lives. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to establish a relationship with a guy who 1. doesn't know who he is, 2. Doesn't know what he wants, and lastly doesn't know what he is looking for in a relationship with you. Simply put, it's really hard to get to a destination if you can't even decide to get on the train.

    The last idea I have regarding preference has to do with what I call your first sexual "impression". What I mean by this is sort of a two fold sort of a situation, which dictates recounting your first awareness of sexuality and what the subject of your fascination was. How old were you when you started to have sexual feelings, what caused these feelings (if anything at all) and was there somebody who these feelings were focused on, was there a significant age difference? All of these sorts of things will have an effect on how you feel both about sex and sexuality as well as how you view your world around you.

    Just a few ideas on why you might feel the way you feel. To be sure the person that knows the best is you, however perhaps through thinking on some of these ideas it might help you make some discoveries about yourself. :-)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not terrible. I started fooling around with an older guy when I was 19 and since then I lost all interest in guys my age. I have been dating an older guy now for 3 years straight. Older men are way sexier amd smarter. I have more in common with older people anyways. I often joke that the only I have in common with people my age is being born in the 1990s lol. Funny but true. Nothing wrong with it, older is usually wiser.

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What Guys Said 17


  • img1.etsystatic.com/.../...x270.536310911_ak9e.jpg

    Normal? No. Does it happen? Yes.

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  • I think if you were interested in men that are in their mid twenties to late twenties that would be acceptable. It's understandable why girls like men at that age. They seek a man that can support them financially and emotionally, men at younger ages typically can't offer that. That being said... You being interested in men half your age raises flags to be concerned of the possibility that you probabaly have other underlying emotional issues.

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  • You're good. It might be weird for the guy. I know for me personally, I don't want to have to use any of these:

    1. DWR... As in Danger Will Robinson, her dad will kill you when he finds out your age.
    2. I was learning how to drive when you were born
    3. Do you have my age? Good, now add a decade.

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  • Usually such attraction correlates to daddy-issues and/or looking for stability, hold and experience for your life - since those are ones you don't have currently.

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  • Why should that be terrible? I don't get it. Be yourself, love yourself, be true to yourself... and if you find younger or older people attractive that is your choice and totally ok. Be confident. Sheesh! ;)

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  • It is fine. You are probably more interested in someone that can stimulate you mentally too and have interesting conversations.

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  • It's good thing your legal age. I wish i could find a woman your age to marry me.
    I'd do everything for her but I don't get mixed up with someone with substance abuse cause that can become a issue itself.

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  • it's very normal. biologically speaking men look for beauty and youth in a mate and women nowadays look for resources and maybe maturity. only which can really be found in older guys who have had more time to do and accomplish things.

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  • That's not a problem at all. Go for it.

    It might be a problem of you were only atraced to men half your age though.

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  • It's normal lots off girls love us older men.

    We're are the best.

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  • no, it is very good

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  • nah its cool.

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  • A person's sexual aesthetic preferences are NEVER BAD, assuming all parties are consenting adults, there's no wrong possible.

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  • mathematically, this will only get worse

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  • Not necessarily terrible but weird.

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  • You're just like most other women.

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  • I know plenty of girls who have been attracted to older men. It's mainly the maturity level, having their lives together, and knowing what they want out of life, based on what I've seen. If you're looking for something very long-term, though, it becomes problematic when you're in your mid-fifties and your husband/boyfriend is in his mid-seventies. You'll be wanting to do more things, go out and see the world, etc., while he's most likely going to be slowing down and losing some of the spring in his step. I'm not advising against it; you just have to be prepared for that if you choose such an arrangement.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I don't think that is abnormal at all. Maybe you are just on both an emotional and physical waive length better with older men!!! Now when you hit my age, you might be looking for them back in their mid 20's-30's-(can you say Cougar?) LOL

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  • You're not alone. I'm also 20 and into guys in their 30s.

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  • Same lol. I like guys 30-40s sometimes older

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  • Maturity and $$$$ BABYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

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  • Yeah I generally prefer guys in their 30s. I don't have daddy issues I just prefer men physically and mentally in that age range. I think guys my own age are still that bit immature and I cam hold a conversation with older men better

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