And when I say shy, I mean CRIPPLINGLY shy. There's a guy at my dorm who I find REALLY attractive- and from what little contact I've had with him, he seems really nice!
But he is CRIPPLINGLY shy. He doesn't talk all that often, and just kind of keeps to himself. He's very soft-spoken, and he looks at me a lot, to the point where I actually thought he was scared of me!! (He gets that deer-in-headlights look when I catch him), and yet, if he's scared of me, I hardly think he'd want to study together (though that's a bit of a stretch- we're just typing silently in the same room together) or hold the door open for me and go out of his way to do little things for me.
Aside from his best friend, I've been told that he speaks to me the most (and that's not very much!)
he honestly seems so lovely, and I'd love to get to know him better. How do I go about this?
Most Helpful Guy
I was really shy, almost crippling too. I can totally relate. Ok, he will never initiate with you. He will never be able to overcome that shyness barrier. This means you have to do the initiating. You have to work this up gradually. Saying hi and small talk are great ways to break the ice. Every time he talks to you his heart rate will quadruple, his Adrenalin will skyrocket and he will likely hyperventilate if he tries to talk to you. These all feel terrible so he will want to avoid it which means avoid you. Don't let this confuse you with him being not interested. He is. He wants to be with you, wants to talk to you! It will just take time for him to calm down. This will take several encounters over the course of a few weeks or so. Every time he will calm down sooner and sooner and it won't be so bad. Even just walking together to class and not talking will help gain his confidence and comfort level. Each step of the way you will have to make the first move. Again, because he is shy, his experience is limited to nil, so he won't know what to do and will act awkward. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you, so don't give up. Eventually he will gain enough confidence to ask you or initiate with you. Good luck!0
Most Helpful Girl
I liked a guy just like this... I found just talking to him and making cheeky jokes helped, like he would hang around me more often and be the first one to initiate convos etc...
But then he turned out to be gay. So who knows haha.0