What is an acceptable age gap in a relationship?

When I was 17 I dated a 32 year old woman and when I was 25 I dated an 18 year old. I found it interesting that people reacted very differently when I was the older guy dating the younger girl than the other way round. What is your experience and what is acceptable?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I like younger guys, but do feel a strong stigma against it. There's sort of a message to women that if they aren't pushing the limits of what they find attractive (towards unattraction) to fulfill what men desire, then they deserve it if he leaves or mistreats her.

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    • 2mo

      Personally, I like guys within about 5 years either way.

    • 2mo

      I respect your view and answer and maybe the social presssures women face are different where Im from.

    • 2mo

      I come from a rural area, so that's possible.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is going to come down to personal preferences. For me I don't date anyone five years older than me and the ladies have to be at least 27. I recently had a interesting psychological debate about this. If a man that is 38 dates a woman that is 22 be wrong? Well by legal laws no. However if you really look at it from the mind point of view its legal pedophilia. Sure some will say that is absurd according to legal laws. Which is the truth. In the minds eye says something different from the psychological stand point. Its gross if you think about it. It can be with a man dating a much older woman as well. Think about it for a moment. Legal Pedophile.

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    • 2mo

      I don't agree with you. A girl 22 is not a child. I'm 34 and I think about a limit -10= 24 years. But if I like the girl and she is 23, what? As somebody said, I prefer not to be too strict and maybe lose an opportunity to have a girlfriend with who I could enjoy life

    • 2mo

      @marckbcn You don't have to agree. It's just something from a interesting debate that I and group of psychologist friends had over drinks one night. Good for them that they said to not be too strict. However understanding the mind from my studies. You don't have to believe it. I still stand firm. I believe that it constitutes for legal pedophilia. Same as 18yr old dating me at 37. The family has an issue with it. Because the younger person needs to live life and have experiences with someone near their age. Really it is that no matter which way you take it. Still points back to nature of pedophile. The whole "call me daddy" Nasty! I personally know a few women that have dated much older men. Who want out. Because dating a much older man comes with the obvious complications.

What Girls Said 10

  • It depends on how young you are. If you are young ( like me perhaps) and want to date someone younger then the 7 rule of dating comes in handy, and it determines what age gap is acceptable. Once you reach your mid twenties, the youngest you should date is no younger than legal age, which is 18. In a nutshell, if both are at least 18, then every age gap is acceptable.

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  • I think that the man should always be older. At least for me, I want my guy to be older. I never want to date a younger man. I think 6-7 years should be the max if you're in your 20-30s. Anything older I think 10-12 years should be the max. To me, if the girl is 18 and the guy is 28 that's too much of an age difference. But if the girl is 28 and the guy is 38 or even 40 or so it's not that big of a deal.

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    • 2mo

      I see, thats an interesting you view. So its less to do with the gap itself but more to do with what stage of life you are at. What do you think of guys who are 40+ that exclusively date women who are 18-20?

  • As you get older the age gap lessens in importance for most people. Since I am 19 now I have a small window for an age gap. The youngest I would be with is one year younger and the oldest I would be with is four years older.

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  • Me and my boyfriend have 3 years age gap and I used to consider it weird
    Now it looks normal to me. I would go more than 5 years tho if I were you

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    • 2mo

      Im glad that its no longer strange for you. After a certain age it surely has to. be about that person's maturity right?

    • 2mo

      Yea maturity is important

  • Lol... according to the formula someone provided, our ages are just about right... hmmm

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  • I think 3-5 years is enough.

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  • I say 10 to 15 years.

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    • 2mo

      Interesting. Even if the younger is 18?

    • 2mo

      Not younger i should have been more clear. If your 18 i think its ok to date from your age up to 10 years or 15 years older. Not younger then 18. No

    • 2mo

      Actually you were clear and I understood what meant. Thanks for clarifying and sharing your oppinion.

  • I really don't think it matters, as long as you both are cool with it. You only get one shot at life, and if other people have a problem with who you date, who the heck cares? That's THEIR problem, not yours. All that matters is the happiness of the 2 people in the relationship.

    :)

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    • 2mo

      Nicely said. As long as no laws are being broken and they are both of sound mental health who cares.

    • 2mo

      Exactly.

  • My grandparents were 6 years apart, so I'd say like 6 or 7. It might seem weird when you're both younger but when you're older it'll be kind of normal

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    • 2mo

      Makes perfect sense to me. There is a 20 year gap between my parents with my dad being the elder. Theyve been married for 37 years. And still going strong

  • I think its different for girl than guys, I think for girls 2 years younger is the limit and older no more than a teen number, for guys I think the woman shouldn't be more than 2 years older and younger anywhere form 5 to fifteen?

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What Guys Said 12

  • Well as far as two adults (above 18 years old) date, definitely no legal issues. Pure dating between minors/adults is also ok legally. Now it's only morally wrong if one side isn't mature enough for it, in my opinion. Oh and society might consider it differenly. Shall one care? No. :P

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    • 2mo

      Pushing the boundaries there I see. The maturity problem i. e. guys of a similar agw to thw girl being too imature is a big cause I think when it comes to women seeking older men. Either that or they have daddy issues!

    • 2mo

      Yeah I see your point. There's indeed something wrong seeing a 20 YO lady being used by a 80 YO old pervert. And I'm not talking about porn BS.

  • When I was 22, I dated a woman who was 45 years old (Ruby.) When I was 24, I dated a woman who was 36 (Evelyn.) When I was 52, I dated a woman who was 35 (Dawn.)

    My mom was upset when she met Ruby. :) She never met the other two women. I knew that dating Ruby was just a temporary interlude. I got quite serious about Evelyn though hindsight tells me that would have been a horrible mistake. Dawn was fun but not the kind of girl I would ever get serious about.

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    • 2mo

      So youve pretty much experienced all the options then. May I ask what the age gap was with the woman you eventually settled down with, assuming there were others after fun Dawn?

    • 2mo

      My biggest age gap in a long term relationship was 6 years.

  • Half plus 7 rule.

    For example if you are 18, the youngest you can date is 18/2 + 7 which is 16.

    At 35 the youngest would be 35/2 + 7 which is 24.5

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  • Acceptable to you or to other people whose opinions don't matter?

    Biggest age gap where she was older was 8 years, biggest age gap where she was younger was 13 years.

    So long as you are happy together and no laws are being broken, go for itz

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  • How the hell did you manage to get a 32 year old woman while being 17?

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    • 2mo

      Women can be pedos too?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      But did you fuck?

    • 2mo

      No it was purely a long distance, emotional connection. Thats what I thought at the time however, upon reflection it was just a fantasy for me and an escaping mechanism for her. We arranged to meet several occasions but she would come up with some BS excuse at the last minute. So naive and hopeful I was.

  • I dated an 18yr old when I was 24. My other girlfriends were my age or a year younger.

    The reaction differential between the woman being older vs the woman being younger, is the portrayal of men of being sexually predatory. Sad but true.

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  • Your own age divided by 2, then add 7. Thats the youngest person you should date.

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  • depends on the age of the persons involved. If both are over 18... whatever they like

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  • Less than 5 years up or 12 years down for me

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  • Half your age plus 7 is the standard socially accepted minimum

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  • I think maximum 8 years

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  • Half the older's age plus seven both ways.

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