Can long distance relationships ever work?

I recently had a guy break up with me. His reasons were related to us being long distance (different countries) but I feel he maybe used it as an excuse.

If you really want someone wouldn't you try to make it work regardless?

I said I understood his reasons and have left him alone, not contacted him for over a week but I really miss him. If everything else was good apart from the distance do you think he will come back to me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "If you really want someone wouldn't you try to make it work regardless? "
    Yes, if you REALLY wanted THIS VERY SPEIAL someone. I mean it's not impossible but it takes a lot of love and loyalty. I would NEVER break up for this reason, but I would be reluctant to build a relationship like this.
    "but I really miss him. " Shit I'm sorry. But well apparently he does not miss you so maybe you should take his approach to this issue.
    "If everything else was good apart from the distance do you think he will come back to me? " Probably, but he still isn't very trustworthy, is he? It doesn't take much for him to break up.

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    • 2mo

      So I did the right thing to walk away instead of trying to make him see it can work?

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    • 2mo

      I do feel I did the right thing but I have just been questioning if it was actually the right thing or if I should have shown more emotion. But you're right, he probably isn't worth it. And during the time we haven't spoken I have realised there were a lot of negatives in him that I didn't like. They didn't necessarily outweigh the positives but I have just become more aware of them. Thanks for your responses.

    • 2mo

      In terms of morality he's the one that turns his back on you so if you can just do the same it's perfect. So you owe him no emotion after what he did. In the end if you come out of it unhurt it's really good.

Most Helpful Girl

  • "If you really want someone wouldn't you try to make it work regardless?"

    Yep, you'd try hard if it's something you really want, regardless of the obstacles that are put in your way. If he's not even willing to try, that's not your problem, it's his, and you can do better.

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    • 2mo

      So I should continue to not contact him? I felt I was maybe a little cold by just saying ok I understand take care and not at least trying to convince him or show that I wanted him?

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    • 2mo

      3 months

    • 2mo

      Aww. TBH I'd say go now before things get worse. If you get back together somehow and something goes wrong again and you guys breakup, it's only gonna hurt worse the second time, once your feelings have gotten deeper.

What Guys Said 11

  • I say that it's just that time move on and not waste your time with him anymore. Local relationships are much more practical than long distance relationships. If he doesn't feel he wants to invest anymore time and effort into this relationship with you all because of distance then there's not more you can really do, as he just decide to give up on it altogether.

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  • It can work, but only if there is a clear end-goal, as in someone moving. And soon, not like in ten years from now, like 6 months from now.

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  • One of my closest long time friends irl had a long distance relationship with a girl for 8 years. 8 years.
    They are now happily married irl.
    It works.
    Long distance just isn't for some people. Not anyone can handle it and make it work.
    Most people who can't handle it often do not have the maturity to admit/accept that they can't handle it, which is why you see most of them fail.

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    • 2mo

      To add a few things.
      In the course of these 8 years they only met once on a 4 day vacation.
      So no, constant physical contact was not needed to make it work.
      It's just that the people who can't handle the lack of physical contact will always tell you that it will never work without physical contact (indirectly just protecting their egos, instead of saying yea it can work but not for me it is too hard for me)

    • 2mo

      Even for me that little contact in that space of time wouldn't work. I would need to see the other person at least once a month with some exceptions but to make it work I would need to see them physically.
      But everyone is different and I am glad that it worked for them.

  • They can but id give them maybe a year. Within that time frame you'd have to be living in the same city and make it not long distance. Cuz thats the goal. I don't think people can wait more than year.

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  • yes they do work sometimes

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  • no they don't never do and never will

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  • No it is not

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  • He needed to be with you./ Unfair not having contact.

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    • 2mo

      I was unfair?

    • 2mo

      No, the relationship in general. You need to be with each other to be a real relationship.

  • I believe in longneck distance relationships. I was in a similar one for 4 years, until we broke up for reason other than mentioned. I would definitely work for it.

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  • All long distance relationships end. Every single one. Either the distance closes, or you break up (duh).

    If neither of you are willing to spend money to visit each other at least a few times a year, text/Skype each other every day even if only for a few minutes, and eventually relocate, you are doomed to fall into the latter.

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  • No,. you need constant physical contact to be a real relationship. If you are far away like that, you are just "penpals"

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What Girls Said 5

  • We're you two actually intimate? Did you go visit each other often? Did you even meet him? Long distance rarely works out unless both are terribly in love because they have actually shared time together and one makes the compromise to move to the other country. Otherwise, stick to reality.

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    • 2mo

      Yes we saw each other in person every other weekend

    • 2mo

      And yes we were intimate. A lot.

    • 2mo

      Okay. So I guess he needed more. If he really wanted this, he would make it work. The thing is that he doesn't and you have to let go.

  • Yes and no. I am a romantic so yes. Id find a way. But a lot of people, men specifically are often more realists.

    Maybe he knows you wouldn't truly be happy in his country and maybe he knows he couldn't move to yours? Maybe both of you have school or family or jobs you can't leave.

    The sad part is sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes its the right person wrong place or time.

    Maybe in time you can become friends after the wounds have healed. Maybe in a few years you both will find that it is the right time and long can bridge the gap

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  • Yes they can work if both people wanna make it work.
    I've been long distance with my boyfriend for almost a year. (It'll be a year in January). We see each other as much as we can, but obviously not as much as we want lol.

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  • I don't really believe that It can work if you don't see each other In real lives.

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    • 2mo

      I would 100% agree but we did see each other in real life

  • I don't see how, they aren't truly an intimate partner, more like a pen pal.. That's just my opinion

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    • 2mo

      We were intimate we saw each other every other week for 2-3 days at a time

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