What did he mean by this?

We basically ended up having "the talk". I told him I liked him and he said he can't commit to anything serious right now because he isn't ready and didn't want to hurt me. But then at the end he was like "I know I'm blowing it. I don't know what I'm doing" what does this mean? I don't understand.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't understand either lol. Its not like you asked him to marry you. Whats the harm in going out on a date or something to see what happens.

    It sounds like he does like you though, he just doesn't know what the hell he's doing. I would possibly give it a little bit of time and see if he comes around, if you are truly interested.

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    • 2mo

      well we were friends before and then we were dating kind of which is why the talk happened. So I should just keep being his friend and let him decide if he wants it to be more?

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    • 2mo

      He had a serious girlfriend that left him pretty heartbroken. It's been a couple years but I don't think he's dated much since then.

    • 2mo

      Life is too short to be messed up in the head that long over someone. From what he said he might be kind of on that fence where he doesn't feel right moving on, but knows he should. I'm just speculating at this point however. Might be a couple good topics to talk about if you bring it back up though.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It means he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

    Back off from him for awhile and the truth will come out. Either he'll pursue something more or he'll walk away. It's hard to do but you'll know where you stand and won't waste years of your life (like I did once) waiting for him to make up his mind.

    If you're cool with not having something more serious then just go with the flow.

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    • 2mo

      I don't want a friends with benefits but if all he needs is more time to figure things out then thats one thing... but I know thats a slippery slope. For right now, I told him that we should just be friends.

    • 2mo

      Only you know what your situation is truly like. All I can say is I waited for someone for over 2 years to decide I was worth it and it ended up as us not even being friends anymore. It kills me because we had a lot of fun together. I just can't be around him when I want more. It was killing me very slowly. Finally had to cut it completely off. The hardest thing I've ever done.

      Just giving my opinion to help. I hope you fare better than I did. Best of luck to you.

What Guys Said 5

  • He's confused. He might want you, probably does, but he doesn't know what he wants, and he's not sure enough to commit to you. he needs some space and I'd suggest he sit down with a counselor as one part of moving this forward, the other part is he work on some self confidence in sorting out his emotional self, cause he's not all MAN yet. because...

    He's a bit weak to say "I didn't want to hurt you". well by not telling you, he dragged you along and wasted your time. But that's all related to him not knowing what he wants or confidence, and not being clear. The man has to do that and he can't. honestly, I've been there and we all get confused and unsure, and have to work through it. So he just needs to own it. The woman needs clarit on where the man is at. He's really being a bit lame if you can see through it. That's ok... to teh point you recognize it, see that he needs to work on himself, and then you can both sort this out. Or, you cna't handle that and you move on.

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    • 2mo

      Well he didn't really want to talk about it more than that so I got frustrated and told him we should just be friends then. I mean I guess I could try to bring it up again? or I could just back off and be his friend and see what happens?

    • 2mo

      I'd just back off and be friends at most.

    • 2mo

      ok thanks! yeah we were friends before - thats the only reason I said we should go back to being friends. And he said he would like for us to keep a close friendship if its not too awkward.

  • He thinks you're great and doesn't want to lose you but doesn't feel he's mature enough emotionally to commit to s relationship - and knows that by saying that you may walk away and he could potentially be losing the best thing that's ever happened to him. Make sense?

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    • 2mo

      Yes that makes sense. So did I ruin it by saying I just want to be friends then? I dont really want to be friends with benefits but if all he needs is more time... however I know that can be a slippery slope.

  • It means he likes you and he is still getting over someone else. He doesn't want to get invested in something new yet because he is still healing. Just give him time and stick around. Let it flow naturally and don't try and force it.

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    • 2mo

      So just be his friend?

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    • 2mo

      So I can't go back and say I over reacted and that I'm fine with dating casually just no FWB?

    • 2mo

      Do you want that? Stop worrying about losing thus boy and just do what you can. Take time to be a friend. If you keep waffling back and forth back and forth then he will never want to be with you. Pick a road and stick to it

  • He finds you attractive but doesn't want to date rn is what it sounds like

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  • Jeb Bush?

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What Girls Said 4

  • With having 'The Talk," which I Believe is good Here, dear, it has Let you see Now Somehow... Where you Stand with this Man.
    He is telling you he Doesn't want a Real Relationship and even though he Likes you, he Feels too he could Blow it, by perhaps you Saying..."Sorry, Charley, Take a walk."
    He is Confused a bit of How it might End up. He knows the Ball and All is in your Court.
    Good luck. xx

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    • 2mo

      Well i ended up saying we should just be friends. Was this the right thing to do? I just dont want to waste months hoping he will come around and then him not. But I also really like him so I also dont want to cut him off if he just needs more time...

    • 2mo

      I think you Nipped it in the bud before he got to a "No friends" nonsense. You did well, hun. xx

  • It means he doesn't know what he wants and you should not wait and move on.

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  • Let him go. He knows the consequences of what he is doing but he is prepared to walk away from you.
    You only chance is to let him go and he may miss you. Just do it on very friendly terms so he has good memories of you.

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  • He is giving you a warning he is not ready to be in a relationship. Take him seriously. He could really end up hurting you if you try talking him into it. Be with someone who is ready.

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