There's this guy I've known for a bit know, we met on a online dating app and well when we met in person it was great we had a good connection and chemistry I think, we talked/acted like we've known each other forever and we had fun and we also ended up making out (just happened in the moment) and then we chilled and stuff and he offered me dinner but I said no it's okay and well something happened and he stopped talking to me for no reason and then a few months later we ended up talking again so now we're talking and he said he wants a relationship but he's pickey so it's hard to find one (that's what he said) after he said that he also said "I know we're friends but you turn me on" and then I'm like well is that a bad thing and he said no it's not a bad thing and that he finds me attractive and would make out with me. My question is why won't he date me then?
Most Helpful Guy
If you take the average man or woman, and you put them in a room with 100 age-appropriate single people, both the man and the woman would be interested in a romantic relationship with about 5 of the 100, or around 5%. In that way, men and women are very similar.
But we are very, VERY different in this way: women are mostly only interested in having sex with that same 5% of guys - the ones they want a romantic relationship with - and maybe an extra 1% that represents a random super-hot or super-popular guy - the celeb, the rockstar, the athlete, etc. For that 1 super-attractive guy, she'll have casual sex - even pornstar sex - even if she's a "relationship girl". But, the other 94% of guys she's just not sexually interested in.
Guys, on the other hand, want to have sex with EVERY GIRL HE FINDS ATTRACTIVE - roughly half of all those women, or 50%. Yes, that 50% includes the 5% he'd also want a relationship with, but the other 45% fall into this group that he is attracted to and wants to bang - but will NEVER want to have a relationship with. For whatever reason, he finds her physically attractive, but she doesn't "click" for him in some way.
If you find you are in a guys' 45% - the girls he only wants sex with - you need to realize and accept that sex is the ONLY thing he's going to want - EVER. The chances of him changing is mind and wanting a relationship in the future - even if you're having sex - is very, very small. Sure, it happens once in a great while, but that's really the exception to the rule. Don't fool yourself.
You also need to accept that, just because women don't have this desire for casual sex with lots of different guys, that doesn't mean that men don't have those desires for lots of different girls - because we do. We didn't choose to, it's simply how it is when you're a man and you've got a bunch of testosterone in your veins. You don't choose to be bloated or moody due to your hormones - but it is what happens anyway, and you can't control it anymore than we can.
What you CAN do is make informed decisions about what you DO and about what you expect. If you're waiting for this guy to change his mind and want a relationship, well, I hope you brought a lunch, because it's gonna be a while. A LONG while...1
Most Helpful Girl
He's a pickey prick and you're the back up chick. Lose him.1