My good friend lied to me and is now dating a girl I really like?

So I like this girl, she's friends with my friends. I started to like her and we got to know each other, I always wanted to ask her out. Then she'd be on and off, one day she'd be flirty with me and the next day I'm chopped liver. It threw me off, I ended up never asking her out. But she was always around. I still liked her and never ended up getting over it. I always regret not asking her out but it was too late. One day I notice her talking to a friend of mine at a party alone. They then left together. I thought ok maybe they're hitting it off, I'll back off, eventually I'll get over it. Two weeks later he tells me he wants to talk to me. He asked me how I feel about her, I said I really like her but I thought she didn't like me. he tells me there's no reason to feel that way. He tells me that he started hanging out with her one on one and he didn't know where it was going but he wanted to ask her out. He asked me how I would feel and I was honest I told him it would hurt. I also asked him if he thought she felt the same way and that I wouldn't say anything if they dated. I would respect them going out, I would never step in front of someone's happiness. He tells me, "we're friends, I'm not gonna do that to you, it's not worth it to ruin a friendship over a girl." I said thanks and I was touched, I never thought or expected he would back off of a girl to spare my feelings. He then began to give me tips on asking her out. The next day I found out that they were actually hooking up before he even spoke to me. I felt worthless. It hurts that they're going out but it hurt me 1000x more that he lied to me. I feel like he only told me all that to set me up for failure, I'd ask her out, she's turn me down and he's feel better about himself. Now I have to act civil around him? I definitely don't want to make it awkward for her. Like I said I'll never step in front of someone's happiness. But what do I do? How do I deal with this? Please help.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, your friend is actually not a friend. He lied to you so best to just avoid him in general. As for her, she did nothing wrong. As far as she is concerned, she didn't know you like her. So she went with the guy who had the courage to show interest in her.

    Next time you like someone, don't wait around. If you like them, tell them. Waiting for it will give you an opportunity to miss your chance. Losing my mom to cancer, I have realized that life is too short, and is worth taking a shot regardless of the outcome.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You deal with it by avoiding him. He took advantage of you instead of telling you the truth. Honestly unless you have known him for years and your really great freinds with him. Don't be freinds with him anymore. He just showed you what he thinks of your freindship.

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What Girls Said 3

  • That's crossing a friendship boundary. I'd never do that to a friend. If a friend did that to me I wouldn't consider her a friend anymore, because I never accept less than I'm willing to give in a friendship or relationship

    He's now shown his true potential with you

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  • I'm sorry you had to go through this. Your friend was really shitty doing this to you. I don't have any helpful advice but I hope you can find a positive way to get over this.

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  • I'm so sorry this happened to you. For now, I would just keep my distance.

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