My cousin is getting married in Jamaica. Her destination wedding is planned for 8 months from now. I have been with my bad for 9 months. When I ask him about it he said he is thinking about it and not sure because a) he has a criminal record and doesn't know if he can get in b) it's gonna cost almost 1500 and he has been asked to go visit other countries with his friends that he feel would be cheaper and also more of his top choice. He says he'll think about it. I feel it would be selfish of him not to come just to go have vacation somewhere else without me just because it's more affordable. I told him I feel like he doesn't consider me in making his plans and it hurts me. Am I being too demanding or is my boyfriend selfish?
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like you are looking at this just from the perspective of what you want. If he can't afford to make that trip, he may be too embarrassed to admit that and your insistence will make it more difficult for him. If he wants to attend and he can afford it, he will go with you. If he can't afford it or really doesn't want to go, why would you want to coerce him into making the trip? If he goes because you pressure him, he may act resentful for most of the trip and that would not be fun for either of you. Part of a long term relationship is learning to do things independently of each other.1
Most Helpful Girl
I wouldn't say that choosing the more cost-effective destination is selfish. That sounds like he's simply being practical.
You have to realize that just because you're in a relationship doesn't entitle you to dictate what he will do and not do. You asked him, not demanded. It sounds like you're being a bit overly demanding by insisting that you do EVERYTHING as a joint item, especially if it carries a $1500 price tag on it.0