We're dating... but not dating?

I'm in a strange relationship. We went on a few dates, and after a week he asked if I'd be his girlfriend. I said yes. A week later, he said he loved me. I said I wasn't quite there yet, but I did have strong feelings. Two weeks later, when I was going to tell him I did love him, he drops the "commitment " bomb.
Basically, I was told we can continue to "date" but there was no label on it. He was scared of the commitment. If I want sex with other guys, that's okay but he'd be upset. Date night with him? Also okay. Treat him like a boyfriend, but he actually wasn't my boyfriend.
Its been about 9 months of this. He's a very nice guy, I'm happy, but not sure what to do. I'm not in a hurry for a commitment, I like what we have but at the same time my name is taboo which is annoying. I can't tag pictures of us on Facebook, when I meet his friends, I'm just "a friend from work". He says I'm gorgeous with a killer body, and all his friends would be jealous, but literally only four people in his life know i exist, all by accident.
He has no issue saying "we". Or that we should move in together. He's excited for Valentine's day and Christmas. He is all over me when we are alone in public, (but running into one of his friends once stopped all actions until we got to the car); then he grabs me, kisses me and woos about how pretty I look on that day.
Should I end it? Wait it out until he grows a pair?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You've just let him feel you and kiss (no access to the "between legs part") because that sound like you're a second plan. He don't have a girlfriend hidden somewhere because it feel like it. You should probably end it cause him giving you permission to go with over guy that sounds bad very bad

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're just the girl on the side. It kills me when this happens cause I know I've been through it myself but you're NOT worth being the side chick. He basically knows he can get attention from you and that he is adored by you. You willing to accept his lack of commitment was the first mistake. The reality is, if he was that into you , he would make you his girlfriend, be proud of showing you off to family and friends and to call you his partner. No one deserves to be hidden. He either wants you or not, and if he doesn't want to actually commit to you, it says volumes about how much he can desire you if he isn't afraid of you meeting someone else.

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    • 2mo

      This happened to me with my ex, like Rabbit said, no one deserve to be hidden, best option is to end the relationship cause with time you will feel worse and worse, a relationship that is only appreciated by one side, is not a healthy one.

    • 2mo

      @KaelRhain Yes! I can't like that reply enough :D

What Guys Said 2

  • 1) he's an ass 2) he's afraid of what his friends would say or 3) you broke his heart when you didn't love him back.

    The worst place you can be in a relationship is to be the one that cares more. I've been on both sides, but being the one who cares more SUCKS!

    If it one of the first two, dump him now.

    If its the third, there could be a lot of relation repair that needs done before he is willing to risk that again.

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  • If you are "just a friend from work" then I'd say what reason is there to stick around...

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What Girls Said 0

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