Do you really like chasing girls?

For me I don't know why I do this to myself. However if I meet a girl that is extremely simple to date I just get bored.

Than I meet these girls that I will chase after for months and I always find it more rewarding when it works, but so fucking depressing when it doesn't. IE spending time, money, effort, and emotions on a girl that is just playing games with you and doesn't even plan on ever taking things further.

  • yes
    25% (12)21% (24)22% (36)Vote
  • no
    75% (36)79% (91)78% (127)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I voted no but I do actually get that ones who are too easy and forward to get are boring. I'd prefer to have to work a little and get to know someone before we actually do anything, if there's no risk at all and I can tell she would do whatever I wanted on the first date it's just boring, and also it makes her seem too clingy and not independent enough.

    But I find it annoying when someone doesn't show how they feel and I keep trying to contact them or go out with them, and they don't directly tell me no but also don't tell me how they feel. The ideal situation is when they make it known that they enjoy your company, but aren't willing to give in without you making an effort.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah you pretty much nailed it there. All the girls I have been dating (since I stopped talking to this particular girl I speak of) were very agreeable and had no options. I could literally call any of them right now and tell them to come over, and they would. However I don't want that because they will start being needy and clingy all over again. I certainly don't want to deal with that.

      Now this girl I wrote off as wasting my time has popped back up out of nowhere so I laid it out flat for her because I was already over it. I told her what I thought and I wasn't going to sit here and fuck around anymore, she still left me with (like I mentioned below) I need to process all of this, and continued to kiss me, hold hands etc. Then just come up with some shit and left before I could try to take her home.

      I want that independent girl that doesn't need me to hold her hand through life, but I also don't want to be going through this emotional ringer right now.

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    • 2mo

      Also yeah there are girls I could call right now too and they'd be at my house tonight too (or tomorrow) but they aren't the ones I want! Why does it have to be like this hahaha but I guess that's life...

    • 2mo

      Yeah its tempting trust me, but if I was going to do that, I would rather just get on tinder and find a girl I don't already know to hang out with for meaningless entertainment. Than stir up something I already put a stop to. I would however rather go after busy hard to deal with girl for some un-godly reason lol. I get into shit like this quite a bit, even though I hate every minute of it. When/if it finally works out I feel a lot more accomplished and have a lot more vested interest. At least it seems that way.

What Girls Said 2

  • hey, i totally get your feelings and having a drive for something a bit more than some others would happily settle for, you are questioning it and im trying to see what your saying... the girls who you have to work for and chase excite you and you desire them and perhaps are seeing them as potential serious contenders then she doesn't want that and you are left feeling a bit confused i would imagine, girls can definitely be players and can love the attention and money spent on them but are in no way giving back. the ones who are ready to be steady and commit are too boring, so why are you doing this? to eventually find the right place and the right person, do you ever hold back a little to test their response and whether they chase you back a little? what do feel you want at this point in your life? xx

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    • 2mo

      That is certainly a fair assumption. I came to this conclusion recently because of a specific girl and I still don't know where we stand. I've been "chasing" her for about 8 months. However I stopped talking to her for about 6 of those because it seemed like I was getting played. Then she hit me up randomly and wanted to hang out with me recently. while hanging out I told her to cut the bullshit, I'm into you and I don't want to want to do this dance around it crap anymore. She left me confused by telling me she has to process all of this. Yet she kisses me and we have a great time all night, then goes cold and hard to get ahold of again.

      It lead to me think, why the hell do I put myself through this? I guess I'm pretty messed up myself. I really like this girl because she is so independent and doesn't need me to hold her hand through life, but that personality tends to be the type of girl that always makes things difficult because they are so busy in life and can have any guy.

  • Nah I prefer to do the chasing myself, preferably with several water balloons in my hand, but I'll take a Nerf gun too.

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    • 2mo

      I prefer a super soaker- I always seem to miss when I use water balloons.

    • 2mo

      @JenSCDC That's true... come to think of it, I'm a crap shot, a super soaker's my best bet ahaha.

What Guys Said 35

  • I won't bother chasing them at all anymore. Hadn't done so for almost 10 years and my age displayed isn't my true age. I realized it's all just too tiresome and costly and just delusions caused by hormones anyway.

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  • Chasing girls can be a real effort and burden sometimes. Sure, some may find it challenging. But it gets really old and boring for me after a while. Finding it rewarding is fine as long as she's not taking the piss and just using you for attention and stringing you along.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I personally hate the dance, like the rewards. This particular situation I've been trying to nip in the bud and call her out on it, which is probably just going to end badly.

      I just can't stand girls that need me to tell them how to live their life and don't have their shit together. So far in my experience, the ones that do have everything put together are way more independent and don't even really care one way or another if they have a man around. Making it much more difficult to get into their bubble, if that makes any sense.

  • For me no I don't like chasing them cause I usually end up falling for the shy ones and it is hard for them to show that they like you when they do. So them showing something encouraging is rare.
    I would rather that she lets me know that she likes me instead of me chasing her for a few months.
    One of the few things worse than rejection is being dragged along.

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  • Personally I don't. It doesn't help any that I can't tell flirting for shit.

    images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/azbEgBK_700b_v1.jpg

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  • Part of me does, but I also like girls I simply have good chemistry with and me "chasing" equates to inviting her out places and she comes with. It's really cool to have a cool girl that likes you back and puts in effort in return to your effort. I don't buy into the idea that the man needs to chase a woman in order for it to be worthwhile. Just because it came easy doesn't mean it's any less. In many ways, it should come easy. That's how you know you're trying things out with the right women (assuming you are sexually attracted to her).

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  • Few guys like chasing, but many women think they do because:

    1) guys who chase are the most aggressive so women encounter them more often and then think they represent a larger percentage of guys than they actually do

    2) a guy who chases a woman is definitely into her, if she chases him he may not be into her (he just wasn't from the start), this can get some really dense/entitled women to think guys need the chase to be into a woman

    3) mom said it's true, of course mom doesn't know her sh*t and only repeats what she heard from grandma, but it can take a while for her daughter to realize that

    4) truth in fiction: women who are immediately very clingy and submissive (like dumbing down for him) and don't give him the time to get to know her and fall in love with her can sometimes drive a guy away, she may then conclude that relationships only work if the guy chased her

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  • I have never tried, but if I was to chase a girl, it would only feel rewarding if she is consistently hard to get. I don't see the appeal in waiting over a month, paying to take her out, and romancing herif she has exchanged nudes or spread her legs for guys who didn't have to put in a fraction of the time or effort that I did.

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  • just restrain from it. it is counter productive energy/money wise

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  • Yeah its depressing. I dont chase girls though - if they dont show signs oof interest then theyve damned well missed their chance to feel awesome! Focussing on one girl when you could be meeting many more doesn't add up for me anyway.

    As for spending money on girls... I Never do that! In fact they usually buy me drinks if anyone does. Girls play guys, easiest clue is when the commodities/money comes out.

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  • If the girl doesn't make an effort too she is not interested u r just there to boost her stupid ego

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  • NO, I hate that I have to chase someone to be with them. I have done that for years without anything at all happening and me feeling much worse about myself. It has gotten to the point where I have given up on ever getting a girlfriend, settling down and having children.

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  • I have no "addiction to the chase" at ALL!

    If she isn't interested, I tend to leave her alone and not pursue any longer.

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  • Dating is not a blood sport.
    Do not think about how 'easy' she is to date. Think abou YOU. How muc do ŷou like her? How badly do you want to be in her company?
    Consider the emotional rewards of dating her rather than the cost of wooing her..

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    • 2mo

      By simple I mean needy, clingy, and not an independent person. Like I mentioned below, girls that I could still call right now and they would be at my house at some point today.

    • 2mo

      I am looking at your whole post. Not just the first paragraph.

  • No I usually lose interest if they play those games.

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  • I enjoyed it when I was fast enough to catch some of them. Now they just run away laughing.

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    • 2mo

      For some reason I read this as screaming instead of laughing.

  • I don't see the appeal of 'the chase'. It's a big turnoff to me tbh. I don't like to waste time to pander to a girls ego. Be simple or get lost.

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    • 2mo

      these girls would do that too me, and I simply felt that I was rejected.

      When they ran away from me.

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    • 2mo

      What I meant is when I would say hi and they would say hi, the next day later i would say hi, and then she would smile at me then run away.

      I don't know If she wanted me to chase her or runaway.

    • 2mo

      @Loadedgamer okay that has little to do with what I wrote.

  • I like the chase only if there are chances that I'll get her. If she's onto playing games then I'm out, but a little bit of chasing in the beginning is kinda fun

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  • No, it's just unnecessary. If I like a girl, I'll tell her right off, just because I hate chasing, and I don't want others to have to go through it.

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  • I don't chase women. If she's not interested in me, or if she outright rejects me, then I'll move on and stop wasting my time. I'll only fight for something that is mine.

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  • No. That's *part of* why I don't.

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  • I used to when I was younger..

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  • I don't personally like to chase girls, no. I prefer to know where we are in the relationship, and if there is any chasing, it should go both ways. If chasing means fighting for her, then yes, to the ends of the world.

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  • That sounds like a prime example of stalker.

    These women can file you a 50 meter distance.

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    • 2mo

      I sound like a stalker? I can assure you I don't stalk this girl and she has no problem hanging out with me, I don't think you understand what I'm talking about here.

    • 2mo

      Well when you said the question

      And use the two words, "chasing girl"

      I automatically assume you're a stalker.

      But you do you dude

    • 2mo

      It means a girl that is being hard to get, making you expend extra effort to date them IE "Chase" not literally running after them or following them around in your car, I don't think you under this concept mate.

  • well i am 50-50 on this one

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  • I stopped chasing girls because no girl on this planet wants to be with me

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  • I despise chases, most of the time it doesn't pay off so what's the point?

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  • You mean being in all places at once and nowhere at the same time? Yeah, I dig that.

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  • Nope, I like when they chase me :P

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  • Yeah, but then the cops show up and spoil everything...

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  • Tip for guys who have trouble chasing: Chase fat girls, they're easier to catch.

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