I met a guy online, we chatted and he seemed nice but I initially turned down a date because he has children (I don't want them). However we decided to meet up as friends. It went really well, felt like a date and we had an awkward hug/small kiss at the end due to us not knowing what was happening. Second meet up/hangout (his words) was at my flat a week later. I cooked, we chatted and had a laugh but neither of us made any move and I thought it was possibly heading towards friendship. When he left he kissed me beside my mouth and gave me a really long, tight hug. We met up a few days later where we went out for dinner then came back to mine to hangout. Still nothing had happened by this point, although he paid for dinner (despite my insistence that I could pay my half). We randomly got to talking about dating in general and started talking about us. He said he'd wanted to kiss me at various points but wasn't sure and I said it would have been OK. So we ended up having a kiss but he immediately started feeling me up - I said it was too soon. We chatted for a while then he decided to go... then hesitated and asked point blank if we were definitely not having sex that night. I was taken aback and said no and that I wasn't interested in a hookup, fling or a one night stand to which he said it wouldn't be a one time thing. Anyway, he left, sent me a message when he got home which was as normal and then a couple over the next few days. He sees his kids at the weekends so I only text him when he texts me. I'm a little confused by the situation. He'd spent the third evening telling me he was terrible at asking people out etc - which I could see from his hesitation in making a move to kiss me. I also appreciate that I may have been giving mixed signals from my original 'no' and natural shyness in making a move myself. I don't do 'rules' and have sex when I feel comfortable with the other person, whenever that is. He's 41 and I'm 32. What do you make of this?
Most Helpful Guy
Personally I think its kinda crazy to expect sex after just 3 dates, but then again I never technically dated. But I do that also anyway, just take my time, whenever I get comfy with someone or they get comfy for me. I always let the ladies do the first step like that, which suited me fine since yeah I take a while myself anyway. Dont easily let people close. In either case, not sure what to make of the guy, he sounds awkward really, so he might be rusty, dosent make him a bad person or anything but at least in my opinion that he would expect sex after 3 dates is yeah, a bit much, or I dont know. Maybe he thought you felt that way or meant that way so he just asked to make sure or check cause yeah again, he's kinda awkward.
Meant to ask how long been between dates, but re-read and yeah jeez, dosent sound like been long really. I would regardless suggest that you just take ur time, and maybe also try to make up ur mind if u wanna try with this guy or not. Since if you kissed him and all, well thats not like a turn down, so naturally he would think or assume it would progress. Dont let him or society pressure you into any fictional point where you are supposed to give in anyway. Just be you, just get comfortable first, take whatever time you need. If it dosent work out that way its already not meant to be anyway. Only thing people should worry about when comes to taking their time is fear, if they delay things cause of fear. Fear should never be the ruler, as long as it dosent rule, no worries. Do what you think is best for yourself.0
Most Helpful Girl
he is a fuck boy and you're too good for him. block his number and move on. he won't treat you the way you deserve0