Guys, Do you prefer a girl that speaks up or that hold whithin her issues and worries?

First of all sorry for my broken English...
I've been dating this guy for two months, more or less. We had sex, and oral, and everything is great! I really like him, but I kinda feel like he's not that into me... We see just a couple of times a week, he never compliments me, I haven't met his friends... I start to think that I will just get hurt if we keep on dating. Do you think I should tell him how I feel? I would like to open up with him but I don't want to freak him out... Maybe I'm just being paranoid, maybe I shouldn't bother him with these things and just see how everything goes... I don't know what to do.
Guys, what do you suggest me to do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Always speak up. If I like a girl and she's not happy with how I'm treating her, I would expect her to tell me so I could fix it.
    When you speak up you will know if he cares or not. If he tries to fix what he's doing wrong, you know he likes you. If he stays the same, he doesn't like you.

    So always speak up, it's the best for both.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Well I like shy girls. So not speaking up might help with me, but with a random guy probably not. It depends on the guy. I mean I like to take care and be active, and I don't really like open book party animals. But that's just me. With this kind of dismissive guy, I'd advise to speak up and speak out your mind. Or you will be totally neglected.
    " I start to think that I will just get hurt if we keep on dating" This seems likely indeed. Is he not merely using you?
    "I don't want to freak him out..." And you say your English is lacking. It obviously isn't. Now back to your issue. He's supposed to listen to you and help. Dump any guy that won't even do that. They're just unworthy of a serious relationship. Also if it freaks him out it's his problem. He's a man for christ sake, he's supposed to be able to listen to hard things too.
    "maybe I shouldn't bother him with these things" Is he a king and you a total nobody for you to think this way?
    "Guys, what do you suggest me to do? " Speak your mind and see if he is worthy of you. My honest opinion is that he isn't. See for yourself and treat yourself no worse than you treat him. You're a human being too!

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  • you gotta speak up, learn to do it in a positive way. we are quite different (male/female) and then different personalities and behaviors, needs, expectations, stressors within. gotta communicate and work together.

    sounds like he thinks of you as his hookup girl. you have to communicate but try not to make it all pain and suffering... which is what girls love to convey. Just invite him out for ice cream and see where things stand, that you want a full relationship. Is that where he is at?

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  • I'm an advocate for a calm, direct, matter of fact conversation. Just ask him about his intentions and what he sees the future of the two of you being. Then react accordingly.

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  • Yep, tell him.

    And its probably not as bad as you think anyway. A lot of guys aren't very proactive with expressing their affection, for better or worse!

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  • I'd rather her speak up rather then keep things down inside because if she never speaks up how will I know if something is wrong? and if I don't know something is wrong I can't fix it.

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  • One who speaks up, but every little thing I do that she disagrees with is not an "issue". It is breathing space. She has to differentiate between real and self centered.

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  • I prefer girls who speak up (and I married one)

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  • Speak up. I don't want someone I care for self-imploding because they refuse to admit their feelings.

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  • Yes, you should speak about it - but not something like, when are we going to make babies? That WOULD freak him out.

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  • Just ask him if the two of you could see each other more often, and that you really care about it. If he doesn't want to for whatever reason he just used you for sex, but if he agrees he cares aswell and then you might get conpliments etc.
    Ps: can you give advice to my questions aswell, I see the girl soon. Thanks!

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  • Somewhere in between is probably best. I'm not best qualified to answer this but telling him how you feel sometimes without appearing to regularly nag and complain is probably best

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  • I suggest that you get honest with him. Open up and tell him how you really feel. I personally dislike it when someone keep their feelings hidden, when they can just talk to me about it (if it is about me).

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  • I'd want her to speak up.

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  • Speak Up. I want her to tell me if something's wrong because we will work the problem out and fix it together.

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  • Totally tell him about your problems, you two are dating and hiding things could hurt you and your relationship, not to mention you could miss some amazing opportunities.

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  • Speaks up, communication is the key to any relationship

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  • PLEASE SPEAK!!!

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  • I was to marry a girl like that, I hated the fact she wouldn't express her feelings

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