Ladies, do you actually want the guy to pay during dates?

I've seen this come up as an issue quite often. I've gotten in arguments before when i insisted on paying, and i have also be called cheap when i brought up splitting the bill. What do you prefer?

Ladies, do you actually want the guy to pay during dates?


  • Yes
    30% (52)24% (20)28% (72)Vote
  • I wouldn't mind splitting, but prefer he pays
    32% (55)8% (7)24% (62)Vote
  • I want to split
    26% (45)18% (15)23% (60)Vote
  • Other
    12% (19)50% (43)25% (62)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
2mo Based off of all the opinions it seems like the best bet is just to pay and not worry about it
2mo These polls are so close lmao. Even if you wan't to split, if the guy insists on paying, will you let him?

0|0
60|18

Most Helpful Girl

  • You have gotten different opinions because of the culture difference. Where I live, men usually pay at least on the first date and if he didn't, he will be called cheap. It is how we were brought up.

    5|2
    1|2
    • 2mo

      I feel the same way. The guy should py for the first date especially if he's the one who asked you out then maybe after a date or two start splitting it or take turns.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      i love being cheap because i know women who dont want to split the bill are always cheaper.

    • 2mo

      @anonman32 Like I mentioned, we come from different culture. So I respect your opinion 😊

Most Helpful Guy

  • All the girls saying they want to split, but if a guy takes them to an expensive resturant, that purse ain't coming out.😂

    6|3
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Then you simply don't choose an overpriced place to date. Duh.

    • 2mo

      @Unit1 I can choose any place I want. You didn't understand my point clearly

What Girls Said 59

  • I almost always pay for myself or we split the costs, I don't want to be that girl that expects a guy to pay. But it always scores him points if he offers or tries to pay. It's more the consideration and thought that counts.

    3|5
    0|0
  • Yep I love being treated to dinner. If he's really so cheap then I can pay for the dates and other stuff but if he's cheap that he can't pay for a cheap meal that I eat then I begin to question whether he's long term material.

    6|1
    1|6
    • 2mo

      If he can't pay you meals, he is no long term material?

    • 2mo

      @Pedro_N she's saying if he's cheap person. Aka a guy that doesn't like to spend money on much. Thing is if he actually can't afford to pay for much, then being cheap is a good quality. It's unwise to be the guy that buys things he can't afford.

  • Hey I can pay for myself. In a long relationship I don't mind it if it's like a surprise date but other than that I'm paying myself. And if I don't have enough money, I'll pay him back as soon as I can. I'd feel bad. I can't accept money wothout a damn good reason anyways so why should this be any different?

    3|3
    0|0
  • Lmfao too cute
    Look it depends on the person s ideals and traditions.
    To stay on the safe side, suggest and insist and if she s stubborn about it then just split the bill.
    Gd lck ^^

    2|2
    0|0
  • Because it's 2016 and I was raised to provide for myself, I either treat or split.

    Because I'm a 23 year old trying to save up to move out and also because I'm a cheapskate I like when he pays. Not because he has a penis, but because if he pays then that means I don't and can use that money for other stuff.

    When my fiance and I go out one of us usually pays for dinner and the other pays for whatever after dinner activity we end up doing.

    0|2
    0|0
  • My boyfriend and I (almost always) go dutch when it comes to paying. Meaning that we split the bill- everyone pays for themselves. Ngl but my friends pass a lot of judgement on that when I tell them should they for whatever reason feel the need to confirm that he paid for me... something I try to ignore. Everyone paying for themselves is fine by me!

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't want him to pay. But I want him to suggest paying and insisting on paying as an act of chivalry and courtesy. But at the end I want to pay because I don't want to feel like I owe him something.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I prefer splitting, I feel less guilty and indebted that way.

    1|4
    0|0
  • I prefer him to pay if it was his idea to go to a specific place and he didn't let me know where it was (it was a surprise, for example). I don't want him to surprise me by going to the most expensive steak place in town, which I'm ambivalent about going to, and then ask me to split the bill. If I have a say in choosing where we go, of course I'm happy to split the bill or even pay for both of us. It's basically the same mentality that says I don't like splitting bills among a table of 10 people who got things to share.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I honestly couldn't care less if I pay or if he pay or if we split. But I guess it depends on who asked who out and what words were used exactly. For example, if a guy says "Can I take you for a coffee/drink/dinner?" I would expect him to pay, yes. But if he says "Want to go for a coffee/drink/dinner?" then I expect we split the bill.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I really just want to split the bill. I have no problem paying if the guy is broke, though.

    A staggering amount of women on this website are still stuck in the 1950's. They *demand* that guys pay for them. And that's pretty sad. They often hide behind the "I'm traditional!" excuse, but they just pick and choose the "traditional" values that benefit them.

    0|3
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Also, many women will say "whoever invites, pays!", but I have to call BS on that. These women are the same women who will wait for the guy to make the first move, so they still never pay for the first date. It's purely virtue signaling.

  • I always pay for myself on dates, doesn't matter who asked who out. However, although you know I'm going to say no, I always expect the guy at least offer. It just shows me you're keeping me in mind and came prepared.

    0|2
    0|1
  • It depends on the guy and how the date is going and if I like him or not. I don't mind splitting out of general fairness. Naturally I expect to pay my share. If he desires to be a gentleman and all other factors are positive, I'll let him. But f I'm not feeling it, I insist on splitting because I don't want him to think he's going to get a BJ just for buying me a burger and fries while being the lamest date on earth.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'd prefer to pay because then I'd feel like I "owe" him something.

    2|2
    0|0
  • If I work and he works, it makes sense we both pay. If I was unemployed and he had money, then it'd make sense for him to pay. I like to split usually, unless he's adamant on paying.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I would feel most comfortable with splitting the date.

    0|2
    0|0
  • If you ask me on a date either pay for full or lead with the fact that we are going dutch. I don't mind going dutch. If you ask me though I am not paying for it all. That's just dumb. It would be the same for me if I asked someone on the date. Either I pay or I lead with the idea of going dutch

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Why is splitting the bill referred to as going dutch? We're not that cheap! :<

  • I prefer splitting so as I don't get accused of being a gold digger.

    3|4
    2|0
    • 2mo

      Smart lady :)
      We really have a shortage of your kind!

  • No, splitting seems like the fair option.

    1|3
    0|0
  • split the bill

    1|2
    0|0
  • Hell no, we splittin this bad boy. What if I ordered a Super Delux Diamond En-Crust-ted whatever? That's not fair to him.

    0|4
    1|0
    • 2mo

      oh shaddup shallow girl down voter. You're too expensive a toy. But thanks Dudes with sense!

  • Nup, I'd prefer splitting actually.
    Whoever insists more can pay though, I'm not fussed, but there's no expectation.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I don't expect anything from anyone. I'd pay for my share of the bill. I'd only " foot the bill" if I was in a long-term committed relationship with him.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't think you should ever split when on a date. That is an excercise for plutonic friends. One or the other pays. and at the risk of getting more MGTOW hate, I contend the guy pays on the FIRST date.

    4|0
    1|8
  • Thats very sweet when they do that, but the independent side of me really wants to help out if I can.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes, I do. If we're dating and it's an actual date and not going out as friends, I expect him to pay. I don't mind paying fully for a boyfriend as I have done that many times and, to my dismay, I've been informed by men that I'm one of the rare women they're been with who has paid for them.

    But if we're just starting out, I'm not paying. The lines in dating are becoming too blurred and I do think that's something men should do for a woman because I don't think enough men treat us right as it is. Granted, women need to show they should be treated right, but still.

    But then men will comment and ask, "Well, what would you do for me in return?" If you become my boyfriend, you'll find out. Paying on a date shouldn't be this huge of an issue as people are making it out to be.

    2|0
    0|7
  • I never let people pay for me. I feel guilty that someone else is paying for me. I also feel too proud. I'd rather just pay for my own dinner or anything. I grew up having to earn anything I wanted in life, and it just feels wrong to me when someone else pays. I even feel guilty when someone gives me a gift. I don't mind paying for someone else though.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if he ask me on the date he should pay

    5|0
    1|7
  • I split it because if he pays he'll always expect something

    2|3
    2|0
  • Whoever asked the other person out should assume that they'll be paying, but the askee should at least make a token effort to split.

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    29

What Guys Said 17

  • When I take a lady out, I expect to pay for the date. If she says anything about wanting to pay for her share, I tell her something like, "I'm a Southern gentleman and I have always paid for dates when I ask a lady to go out. I assure you that I'm not doing this expecting anything in return and I hope that you will simply accept this as a gift from a gentleman." I have never had a woman offer any further discussion on this subject.

    I also recognize that this is one of those issues where there are likely to be generational differences, and. . . at age 20, I never told a lady that I was a Southern gentleman. At age 61, I can do it without question.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Only I'd ever pay for a girl is if we were in a relationship. Other than that she can pay for herself. These rules that the guy has to pay or that whoever ask pays is bullshit. For one you're an adult so you should be paying for yourself. At the same time if the guy pays what does he get and I don't mean sex wise? And second woman hardly ask out guys to begin with. I will admit a few women to, but it's still a small amount and even some of the ones that do ask still expect the guy to pay.

    What if it was a date between two guys or two girls? Who pays then?

    0|3
    0|0
  • Yes your update is the best way. It's what, 20-40 dollars at most for a good first date? Why rock the boat for something so trivial.

    Don't schedule a date somewhere you can't afford. It's so simple, I don't know why people overthink this so much...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course they want men to pay, why wouldn't they? If someone willingly offered to pay for my meal, you bet your ass I'll accept.

    1|3
    0|0
  • Since everything has already been said, I don't have much to add. So I'm just gonna upvote all the women who are for equality and downvote the selfish sexists taht aren't lol

    0|1
    1|0
  • Yay for women that want to pay for themselves! : )

    1|4
    3|0
    • 2mo

      Unfortunately not the case with the downvoters. Such selfish and entitled beings.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I've had it happen to me too only once.
      There was this little fat unattractive girl, who asked me to go to the club with her and she said, that I had to pay for it. I declined.
      She asked why. I should have not responded but I did "I'm broke".

      Gold digger successfully avoided.

    • 2mo

      @Unit1 xD. I actually really liked mine lol. We dated a short while. Girl that wanted to pay for herself and wouldn't fight me if I offered to pay for her. Ended up splitting a lot of costs or going back and forth. Like I buy food, she bought movie tickets.

  • Don't fall for the trap. If you try to think about what women want, you've lost.

    Always pay for the first half dozen dates. If she insists on paying, then just be smooth and say "Let me get this, but how about you get dessert/coffee/drink next?".

    3|1
    1|3
  • It's usually a bad idea for the man to pay, it's is not the 1950s. This is because it sends out the wrong signals. Girls may often say they want to be paid for - in fact many girls go on dates just for the ego-boost of being paid for. So you won't know if she is genuinely interested in you or just along for the ride if you are paying for everything.
    Additionally, it makes you look a little needy and desperate to impress - it can actually lose you respect.
    A good relationship, whether long-term or purely physical should be on an equal footing, so start off that way.
    Put it like this: the best approach to a date should be like making friends with the added component of sexual attraction. How would you determine who pays if you were with a friend?

    1|1
    2|0
  • im not even gonna go on a date with a girl that does not want to split the bill.

    0|5
    5|0
    • 2mo

      I'm with you!

      The sexist downvotes have arrived.

    • 2mo

      @Unit1 if women choose to downvote me because of my preferences for dating then thats their problem. they are quick to point out a man who has no preferences that would date anyone. but they hate you for having actual preferences. its a no win situation.

    • 2mo

      Too right. Said downvoters have 0 logic and are not date material :>

  • Because I'm a broke college student I can't afford paid dates, so I would go on $0 dates with whatever means I have left until I am finally and at last employed.
    1. Paid date = Split the bill (Fantastic sign! She is for equality and unique and is NOT an entitled woman)
    2. Paid date = I pay
    3. Paid date = She pays
    4. Paid date = Take turns from there on and if it goes well, she earned the pampering privilege :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't mind paying and I don't mind splitting. I rarely do wine'n'dine, though.

    1|0
    0|0
  • IF YOU ASK HER OUT, YOU PAY. IF SHE ASK YOU OUT SHE PAYS. FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME.

    1|2
    3|1
  • Splitting is the only honest way.

    0|1
    2|0
  • Are you gay by chance?

    0|0
    0|1
  • If she expects the guy to pay... SMASH THE PLATE ON HER FUCKING FACE

    0|2
    4|0
  • I pay for the date if I get sex. I guess I like being old fashioned old fashioned hahaha

    imgflip.com/.../But-Thats-None-Of-My-Business.jpg

    1|4
    3|0
  • omg look at how evenly split it is for girls. It might as well be 100% yes. Without being able to count on anything or trust them to want a particular thing then - and much as it sucks - the only safe option is to pay, even if she insists. ( -_-)

    2|2
    0|0
    • 2mo

      LOL the face <3

    • 2mo

      "Based off of all the opinions it seems like the best bet is just to pay and not worry about it"
      It's a working solution, doesn't mean it's awesome. It's still important to note that it's fkn shit, it's just the only way we know how to survive.

Loading...