What do guys feel is their responsibility in relationships?

The guy I'm seeing says he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't want the responsibility. (He has said he needs to buy a house & that, while "it will be twice as hard" to do so by himself, that's what he needs to do.) While I'm not rich, I now have a very decent state job. As for a relationship, I would not expect anything other than mutual love & support … & to be a part of each other's lives. (I certainly do not expect him to be my sugar daddy.) I would like some male insight on this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Responsibility = Keeping you happy and entertained. You + Him = His home paid with some of your $$$ which means he would lose his home if you split. Men have come to realize the trap that is woman; better to own our assets before getting involved with a woman who will take 1/2 of everything he has after they get together. IF he settles down after his home is bought and paid for, he won't lose his home if the woman decides to leave.

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What Guys Said 20

  • At your age I think it is expected for most men to own a house and provide all the basic needs such as food and medical expenses. That is a lot of responsibility but at the same time if he has a decent job, which he should if he's between 36-45, that is not unreasonable. However, if he has been divorced and is paying alimony and had to split up his finances, than I understand.

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  • It's never just "mutual love and support." That's not how relationships work. If they did they would be so much easier.

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  • A guy who cannot afford to buy his own house is an incomplete person. That's why let him buy his house first. Then if he has sufficient income , let him ask for your hand confidently. Japanese men don't get married because they are unable to support their wives.

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  • The better question is why are you with a guy that doesn't want a relationship? I'm going to translate what he's really saying. He doesn't want a relationship with you personally unless you just want to fuck and he never will

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  • I would move on and find someone who does want a relationship.

    You are going to devote months/years to this guy only to find out that he is ready to commit, but to another girl.

    If you were the person he wanted, he would want a relationship with you.

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  • Exact reason I won't get into a relationship. Plus I'm pretty introverted and I've always felt alone all my life even with people around me so I don't know how to open up in general. I did date a girl but she said I'm too distant for a relationship.

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  • It's an old fashioned thing that some parents drum into boys that they have to be the bread winners. This manifests itself later in life by men not wanting to commit until completely financially secure with a mortgage etc

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  • society says it's a male responsibility. Even women on here think something as simple as the first date *must* be paid for by the male.

    Although at this early stage (assuming he didn't break up with you but isn't starting a relationship?) it seems like an excuse.

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  • my feeling is my responsibility is to be loving, respectful, and supportive

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  • If he likes you and wants to be with you then fine if he does not want a relationship then hey there's other fish in the sea just move on find you someone that will love you and give you the respect that you deserve

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  • 24/7 bodyguard service. Constant love and affection. Honesty and open communication. That's what I "owe" you, but additional services are always negotiable.

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  • He doesn't want to be locked down.

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    • 2mo

      I agree completely here. I think that the other replies are mincing words or over romanticizing his position. He wants to keep his options open so that he can pounce if a better thing comes around.

  • I personally do. A relationship is 100% - 100%

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  • Seeing for how long?
    What he told you isn't news.

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  • to be the cause of her complete happiness from love and sex. as much as its returned.

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  • making babies
    or practising that, at least

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  • It's what we are constantly told from birth to adulthood.
    Every second of the day we are expected to take "care" of women.
    Women expect it of us.

    If a guy walks by a girl in need and doesn't want to get involved, he will be shamed for not being a real man.
    If we don't put ourselves second to every female (women and children first)... we are less of a man.
    If we don't pay on a date, we are cheap losers and less of a man.
    If we don't buy you shit like flowers and live up to your bullshit idea of romance from endless female fantasy movies and books... we are not real men.
    Hell, if we don't put the damn toilet seat down for you we are shamed ffs. I am surprised that women don't expect men to wipe their asses for them in most cases.
    It happens so frequently that women don't even notice how much they expect of us.

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  • Basically male responsibility in relationship is do practically everything and be accommodating while women tend to just show affection for them and dish out sex most of the time.

    Most of romantic gestures in history have been by men. Best poem, love songs and all that romantic crap have been by men. Women get romance overall, men facilitate it.

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  • This is what feminism has done. F#$%^$ up the genders. I feel sorry for you girls. Men are tired of the bullshit that comes with relationships.

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    • 2mo

      Sadly, he has had bad experiences w/ women. 😕

  • "mutual love and support" but, what does that even mean?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he isn't ready to give love and support right now. He just wants to do as he pleases and doesn't want to consider anyone but himself.

    If you are looking for a mutual loving committed long-term relationship then I wouldn't hang your hopes on him. The " relationship" will only be on his terms.

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