Did I bruise his ego?

I met a guy on an online dating site and we had some great exchanges. He eventually disclosed that he was in an open marriage. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with getting involved with a married man but agreed to meet up for drinks (I know-naive). We ended up having a great conversation and then made out in my car at the end of the night. I immediately felt guilty and when he asked me to come over later in the week I told him that I couldn't get involved with him. I asked if we could be friends be I sincerely enjoyed his company. He said yes and that he appreciated my honesty.

we continued chatting for a month (didn't meet again). I met someone else and stopped returning Mikes messages. After about 6 weeks, he sent me a message saying "where did you go?"... I was cruel and wrote back "please don't contact me again, I'm in a new relationship" and then blocked him for a few weeks.

today u was sending an email to a work colleague and accidentally messaged Mike (they share the same name). He wrote back exactly what I had said to him "please don't contact me. I'm in a relationship". He seems petty and angry. Why? We weren't in any kind of relationship and I certainly wasn't the love of his life or anything. I'm just puzzled.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From the way you described it, you were pretty blunt. You probably could have told him you didn't want to message him in a better manner. Instead of "please don't contact me again, I'm in a new relationship" you could have wrote something along the lines of you not wanting your boyfriend to get the wrong idea so you think it's best you don't message him for the time being.. blahblahblah. Just because you weren't in any kind of romantic relationship doesn't mean he didn't care about you/or your friendship and from the way you put it kind of sounds like you tossed him to the side (Not saying you did but the wording may have made him feel that way). You definitely hurt his feelings and I can see where he is coming from despite the stupidity of their open marriage.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you. This is really insightful.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol probably you did bruise his ego, he is a man, they have the most fragile egos in the world. He is also a very immature man and I would not necessarily believe his ´open marriage´ statement, a lot of men lie about their situation in order to get laid. Good riddance and enjoy your relationship! :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's punishing you

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    • 2mo

      Do you mind elaborating on this? This is really intriguing. Punishing me how and for what?

    • 2mo

      In his mind he is. Because you did hurt his ego

  • lol who responds like that, of course he took it the wrong way.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you don't want any contact with him, you shouldn't care. And the message you sent was a bit bitchy. You could've been nicer. But, no, I don't think you bruised his ego. I just don't think he likes that you were nasty for no reason.

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