Guys, I think he's out of my league - but he says he likes me?

I. Am. Confused.
This is the first time I've ever felt so strongly about anyone. And it's scary. I like him a lot, and he's so sweet. He hasn't made a move yet though, and it confuses me. Maybe I'm not attractive enough? But then why would he waste his time on me? Would he really be so sweet, kind and not try anything at all after two dates if he was just trying to get sex? I am a virgin, and we haven't had that talk, but I think he's aware of how inexperienced I am. I just assume that's a turnoff? I don't get the feeling that he's a player at all, he's very serious, ambitious and his personality is sooo attractive. I can't believe he hasn't been snatched up by any of the girls surrounding him yet. His confidence and charm is his forte, and it intimidates me at times. I feel quite dumb around him - and I'm known for being a rather smart girl. I am shy, and so I often don't know what to say when I'm around him which makes me feel even more insecure. It's just so confusing. I cannot get into my head what he sees in me. Guys, can you please share some thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not uncommon for a person to feel like the person they are dating is out of their league. You like them so much and feel like they are perfect, but you have to tell yourself that you deserve this person too. You deserve the best. And who knows, this person could be having the same feelings about you and feel like you are out of his league. The fact that you've had two successful dates and things seem to be going well means that you mean something to him. As for him not making any moves, he could just be respecting your boundaries and is not trying to rush things.

    Just relax and remain confident and he'll want to continue seeing you.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Well it sounds like he might be inexperienced. He might be waiting to have sex or her might just want to get to know you more before he risks his heart more.
    No one is in leagues that silly stuff is just for highschool when other people's opinions mattered.
    What kind of move are you looking for? He sounds like he is waiting for a special girl and tour it. He is not dating the others he is dating you. You might not see what he sees in tou but her sure does. He might be looking for things that your not thinking of like personality character maybe Modesty...
    We are all that way when we are with our dates we all feel inept at one point or another. Just raise your head high knowing that he is dating YOU. He might not want sex so really but he will just wait.

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  • "Like omg I like this guy I like this guy so much like he's so attractive and charming oh but he's too good for me yea is he too good for me? yea he is so I'm going to mope and dope on an internet forum about dating omg people are saying he doesn't like me omg he doesn't like me anymore what do I do I should start like cutting my wrists omg please someone help me I need to find some other guy to string along to fill this emotional void."

    - Some typical anonymous girl, 2016.

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  • First off never say a person's out of your league. They'll either like you or they won't. Saying someone's out of your league is shooting yourself down and is a defeatist attitude. No reason to feel inferior.

    I'd say the bigger question is in those situations is are you a match?

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  • He sounds like a nice guy who hasn't tried to get in your pants right away. As a virgin, I would think you would like that. So his being a decent guy makes you. . . confused. Why? You don't feel good enough about yourself? He obviously thinks you're just fine the way you are. Don't sabotage yourself by overthinking it. You may not think you're that attractive but I bet he does.

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  • Like @Loadedgamer stated, talking to him would be best, but you also need to take into account, he might not be very confident or used to the dating scene, it's a similar situation to me at the moment, but i'm the guy, and we haven't had our first date yet, i haven't been on a date in half a year, and not in a relationship for 5 years, i'm a little nervous, but i'm wanting to try and push to get this girl because i need to get out of my shell, he may just be nervous about the next step, or might not be that experienced. for 5 years i didn't try to get a girlfriend, i just sat on the sidelines, but as soon as i tried, i got a bite, so i don't think it's anything to do with how he is, it might be that he's simply coming out of his shell. But i'd recommend you wait, have another date, have fun, and if he doesn't try anything, talk to him about it after, opening that door might get everything going in motion.

    Best of luck

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  • Not all men find the same things attractive. Maybe he's weird for being attracted to you, but SO WHAT? Why are you complaining, lol? If you want the truth of the matter, this is how men feel ALL the time in a relationship. You're wondering what he sees in you, he's wondering why you haven't seen through him yet and realized what a loser he is. Also, you being a virgin is NOT a turnoff. That means you'll learn how to please him from the ground up, you have nothing to unlearn and nowhere to build but up. If it takes you a while to get confident and feel good at sex, that's still okay, I hate to break it to you and I don't mean to be crude, but you're the girl. You have the easy job. It's not a challenge to get a man off, honey-child. He can most likely take care of that part on his own, the challenge is getting YOU off. Just saying.

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  • Replace the shyness with gratefulness. Thank heaven for bringing such a soul your way. Give the best you could

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  • I don't want to send you bad advice about areas I know nothing about but I wouldn't worry about a lack of sexual experience , I think (hope ) most people will be patient and understanding if things progressed to that stage. You would be surprised to hear that one mans view on female beauty can be entirely different to the next mans. Unfortunately men of that age do usually go for looks first but he might view you in a different light to the one you are expecting. Last but not least you might also be surprised to hear that a lot of men don't go anywhere near the "super pretty" model types due to an expectation of rejection. You have many reasons to be optimistic maybe letting him know you have feelings for him is a good idea.

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  • Tell him what you just told us.

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  • Why don't you ask him out instead, and if he says no.

    Then he's just focused on his goals and priorities.

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  • He's seeing you as a bunny. As in, he wants to slowly get to know you and doesn't want to make you to run away. You already said that you were intimidated by him, and he could be able to pick up on that.

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  • Being attracted to someone does not automatically equate to them making a move on them. Example: you are enamored with this guy and have not done anything about it.

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  • Is he handsome/good looking? He might be shy, very shy and nervous haha, does he ask you out? Or to hang out, if he textes you first that can be good:) cause why would a guy text someone they don't like? How's his personality? He can be different around you maybe to impress you? Give it a little time

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  • Maybe he's tired of getting hurt by superficial girls who get with him for his looks. Try hanging out as friends

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  • Make sure he's actually a good guy and not just a player. You said he has lots of female friends and is confident and charming. I known a few guys who literally can charm the pants off of women but were misogynistic d-bags in private. I used to go to bars with them just to watch the spectacle. Plus you say you feel dumb around him. Why is that? You should feel that way around someone you like that respects you.

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  • Relax. Tell him how you feel and see what he says. Perhaps he's trying not to blow it with you. When we say the wrong thing... POFF!.. gone girl gone!

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  • NO SUCH THING...

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  • Word to the wise: leagues are bullshit.

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  • all guys like all different girls.. you're mysterious to him and that's the turn on... trust me because i chase your type

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  • first of all even though Im good looking I never feel that way about anybody. If someone is attractive they are attractive to me, I dont compare my looks to theirs. If he is attracted to you then he will consider it.

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