How do I make him feel secure with me?

I have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and last month we started dating but we got into a fight after a few days. So when we fought, He actually said that he wants us to just know each other more before we actually start dating each other. I was so depressed when he said that and he did explained to me that he don't want us to keep fighting over small stuffs when he's officially by boyfriend. We fought is because he wasn't comfortable with one of my guy friend who had visited my home when i was alone. So now both of us aren't together and our conversation became less and we seldom hang out like we used to. We promised each other that we will have no further physical contact like holding hands, hugging and stuffs like that when we wants to know each other because things actually escalate very quickly at first when we know each other. ( We had kissed and been on dates and things couples do ). I just feel that he's very insecure about me having a lot of guy friends and also he doesn't wants things to repeat again like his past relationship. I REALLY DO LIKE HIM and i want to make things work out between us! So what should i do? And when i asked him why he likes me he says that it's becuz i like him and the rush of passion and emotions doesn't equate to the feelings that i have for him. So i'm also in a very confused state about him and my own feelings. What can I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Actually, there's no way to make him more secure by talking to him. It's all on him. What's so bad about him wanting to know you more before becoming a couple?

    • I'm just upset that he asked me to his girlfriend d then he just say going back to knowing each other more phase so easily just after we fought. And it's hard to talk to him because he is hard to read and isn't expressive while I'm very expressive with how I feel and knows me.

    • Ahh... A "nut to crack."

    • That's why it's hard for me. And when I ask him why he likes me, he just say he likes me because I like him. Before that he was the one who kissed me first. And he says that all the rush of emotions and the passion he has for me doesn't equate to the feelings that I have for him. :( so I'm now very anxious about the fact I might lose him 😢

  • Find someone else. You don't want to be with this guy.

    • He clearly isn't liking me huh? :(

    • Wouldn't say that. I'm saying it's clear that trying to date him would be bad for you. He's this much trouble and has this much expectation of you, when you're not even together... bad sign.

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to explain to him that he doesn't have to feel threatened by other men. Remind him that you're with him and you only like him and no one else.

    • I told him but he is just unsure of his feelings for me. And he isn't expressive at all so I can't understand and know what and how he feels. It's like there's a wall in front of me and I'm trying to break it. :(