A few days ago I went on a date with an old college friend. We had tried to date in college but I was extremely shy so it didn't go anywhere. Now we haven't seen each other in years and have had a relationship each since. He greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek, we had great conversation, made each other laugh, teased each other and maintained a lot of eye contact! He was actually staring right into my eyes which he wasn't doing to anyone else. The thing which baffled me was that he said that he doesn't hold hand til the 3rd date... I was like really? He asked my opinion and I said well it depends on the person and connection you have. Usually I get kissed on the 1st date which is why I was do confused! He asked how I thought the date went (whilst we were still on it) and I said well what do you think? He said he thinks it went great and really wants a second date. He asked me more than once for a second date... he said he wants to take things slow. To be fair I do tend to have a habit of rushing things...
He said the gentleman always pays and wouldn't let me pay for anything. He compliments me a lot too however he did look nervous on the date and was buying cocktails for both of us haha.
So what do you guys think? Is it cause I'm used to rushing things or is he not that into me or just unsure? Does he just not want something serious? I'm a bit confused!
Most Helpful Guy
For starters, from my perspective, I believe you’re over-thinking what happened, and you should calm down, take a deep breath, and step back a little from rushing to judgment of what occurred on this first date and give the guy a benefit of the doubt that he might just have been nervous being on the date with you after not seeing each other for so long, and realistically if he wasn’t that into you, then he wouldn’t have been worried about how the date went, but given the fact he asked your opinion of the date while you were still---on the date leads me to believe he may have just been nervous and feeling anxiety of wanting the date to go great and perfectly with you.
As far as his other behavior about not letting you pay, that’s just the gentleman in him behaving as I believe a guy should when on a date with a girl. I have been on dates where the girl insisted on paying her own way or paying for the meal for both of us, because she wanted to feel she wasn’t just taking advantage of my generosity, but see that is something she communicated to me and since it didn’t affect me to grant such a request it hasn’t ever been a huge deal.
To let a girl pay shouldn’t affect a guy’s self-esteem or confidence, and it shouldn’t for this guy either, therefore if you want to pay sometimes or split the check because it bothers you for him to always pay for everything then be bold and assertive and communicate to him that sometimes you’d like to take—him---on the date. Yet, I wouldn’t do that right now as you’re both getting to know each other. Let him and you settle in and be comfortable together and then later you can suggest splitting the check or paying for things sometimes, but don’t do that right now while the relationship is so new.
Going to his behavior regarding not holding hands until the 3rd day, this is again just him being nice and giving you room to breathe; yes he kissed you, such an action is encouraging that he’s easing into the relationship with you, but holding hands, he might feel is a bit too forward on his part, and he doesn’t want to scare you off. He’s giving you time to hoist those signals that he can get closer to you and it is okay to hold your hand. Again, give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t read too much into what he’s doing.
You’ve both not seen each other in a while, and so far things are looking good the two of you are compatible with each other. Take it slow and enjoy being together. Time enough to make adjustments later.0
Most Helpful Girl
He's like extremely conservative. You could probably make a bullet list of his social and political views from just that info.0