I confronted him about it. He promised not to do it again. We love eachother, his family is taking me to China for holiday. He talks about being together forever and what our kids will be like. He's 28 so that could help put things into perspective. I'm attractive too and give him sex whenever he wants. I just can't stop thinking hell do it again. It was a lot of girls. A lot of secrets and o found out in a way I shouldn't have. I was snooping his phone after Fonding out he had tinder. Which caused more problems. But we got passed it. He's sorry, I'm sorry. But he won't tell me why he did it. will he do it again? Is he sorry? Should we break up? Do all men cheat like this?
is this something I just have to put up with?
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The question of whether or not you should leave him comes down to whether or not you want to. It's important to know that there's no complete obligation to go either way... So you don't have to put up with anything.
1.) Do you trust him still? Or rather, will you be able to trust him completely again? If trust is lost for good, my suggestion is to end it now, lest have the lack of trust build up and erode the relationship in time. A relationship with no trust is like a ground with no moisture; it cracks up easily and can't support life.
2.) Do you think he is genuine and won't do it again? I can't be the judge of that-- it's really dependent on how the moment was when he spilled the beans. Some people believe "once a cheater, always a cheater." My personal take on that is that cheaters generally are more prone to cheating again, but every once in awhile a cheater learns their lesson and stops it.
With this all in mind, my opinion: Leave him.
Why? It sounds like you've lost trust with him and are becoming continually worried he'll do it again. Like I said, if trust is gone in a relationship, it's prone to failure. You'd have to be able to forgive and essentially let it go... Not easy to do.
My cousin actually got cheated on by his girl. (She cheated on him with his best friend and resultingly got pregnant.) He managed to get through it with her after counseling but it was tough. He was able to forgive and forget in a sense. That was a bit of a different scenario though.
The difference here is that I'd question your guy's honesty if he won't give a reason. Likewise, he did it with many girls, who knows if he actually met up with them or not. Also, who knows if he had any emotional connection with them too. It makes me question how sincere his love is and how much depth is really behind the words he says. If he truly loved you, why would he cheat?0