Is it possible that I still love him? Should I tell him?

I was in a relationship with my ex for nearly 3 years before I saw that he sent a message to another girl about his feelings for her while he was dating me, and he decided to end the relationship instead of talking about it (I had already apologized for seeing the message). I was really heartbroken (he was my first boyfriend and I was his first gf).

I moved on and was slowly getting my life back on track. Two years later, he started a conversation with me on Facebook; asking how I am, how college is going, my family etc, and I felt really comfortable with talking to him. Then he started to turn the chats sexual and I asked him if it felt weird talking like that to me, and he said no because he still found me attractive and he asked if I still have feelings for him, which I told him that I do. We decided to meet up and see how things were from there. When we met up, things went really well, and we ended up sleeping with each other (it was the first time for both of us). After that we saw each other a few more times, even though he kept asking me if I’d been with any other guys. Sometimes I'm the one who that starts talking sexual to him as well, but I haven't asked him if he's been with other girls whereas he asks me nearly all the time if I've been with other guys and he gives me advice on "how to make guys want me" like wearing low cut tops, be confident etc, but is it wrong that I only want to be like that for him, giving that he's already hurt me?

Since he’s gone to uni, we still talk every other day, and he’s said about us meeting up when he’s back, and he’s also said about me staying the night with him at his uni, but lately he’s still been asking me if I’ve slept with anyone else. I know my feelings for him: that I still love him, but I don’t know if he cares about me in the same way. He's been in my dreams a lot as well. I have been on dates with other guys, but I'm always thinking about him. Should I tell him how I feel, or pretend that it's nothing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh damn, girl, you fell for the most typical trap. This is BAD. First of all, he was cheating on you! Yes, telling other girl about his feelings for her is cheating. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Anyways, he cheated and you apologized to him? WTF? He's the one who fucked it up, the one who ended it and then disappeared for 2 years. Now he feels a bit lonely and he figured he could use you a bit. And you throw yourself right back to his arms... Just stop. Don't. I get you, I've been in the same situation I know it's hard tor resist. And I'm not pointing a finger here, not saying that he's a bad guy or that he did something wrong for getting back in touch with you. This is all you, honey. It's clear that you haven't moved on, and just knowing that you shouldn't have respond to him. Ignore until 100% healed. It's a golden rule. You are confused now because he hasn't shown you or told you what he really wants, and that's exactly how you gonna feel the entire time if you go back to him. His emotions drifted away once, and they will drift away again. He is unstable and unreliable. He needs to grow up or find someone suitable for him. But that's not you. You want different things and there's nothing else to talk about. You have to accept it. If you really can't just walk away, then talk to him. Ask him loud and clear every single thing you want to know. And based on his answers decide for yourself. But I really advice you to forget about this guy and find someone who's feelings will not wander around.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Let me get this straight. He texted another girl that he liked, and YOU apologized to HIM? And then he wouldn't even explain himself? Not trying to be mean but...

    I would not give this guy the time of day. Move on so your heart can heal and you can find a decent guy.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You need to find out how he feels about you. Cause honestly it sounds like he is pushing you to be with other men.

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