Initial meaning you've just started dating and you're not yet sure how you feel about eachother.
- I am a guy and I prefer to split the bill0% (0)32% (19)14% (19)Vote
- I am a guy and I prefer to pay for her half because I genuinely want to1% (1)44% (26)20% (27)Vote
- I am a guy and pay for her half because I feel like it is expected of me0% (0)24% (14)11% (14)Vote
- I am a girl and I expect the guy to pay38% (28)0% (0)21% (28)Vote
- I am a girl and I prefer to split the bill46% (34)0% (0)26% (34)Vote
- I am a girl and prefer for the guy to pay but will tolerate him not paying if he is really hot/interesting15% (11)0% (0)8% (11)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy
I guess, if I had to pick one, I'd pick C. I don't really "prefer" to split the bill. So, it's between "genuinely want to" and "expected of me."
I mean, I don't want to. Shit costs money. Her shit costs money, and my shit costs money. There's no reason the expense of us socializing has to "automatically" or "by default" fall onto me. It's naturally upsetting, but after a few years, you don't really give a shit anymore, and I'll explain why. But, I guess that's why I wouldn't say I "genuine want to." It's not some deep desire of mine to just shoulder the bill on trying to see if the two of us can start a relationship "among equals." Unless, of course, I'm the kind of guy who comes from a culture where I expect the woman to just stay at home and take care of the kids and be 100% dependent on and submissive/subservient to me... and in that case, well, if that's what you're looking for buddy, then you gotta play your role too (so SFTU and pay that bill no questions asked). I know a lot of guys who want their Asian/Indian/Muslim gf/wife... and then complain about having to pay. Either get with the times (in "all" aspects of your life), or enjoy single-handedly earning enough to pay for things with prices that assume that men are not the only participants in the labor market.
In a way, it is something that's "expected" of any guy. It is what it is. I don't do it because I feel "pressured" to, though. You'll have to excuse me, it's been a while since I've been on a "date" with someone brand spanking new... but back from my dating days, when the bill would come, here would be my protocol:
1. Pick up the check;
2. Take out your wallet and hand your debit/credit card;
3. Wait and see (i. e., observe)
That's it. Either way, you're committed to paying. From there on, it just gives you the opportunity to observe what she does. I've had a strong feminist who genuinely insisted on paying 50%. It comes down to reading people and being adaptive and flexible. I could tell it was part of this girl's identity, and so I accepted her offer. Most of the time, though, you're just looking to see how much effort the girl puts into her "fake reach." This is like a golden moment, because you get to see her baseline of what her behavior/face/voice are like when she's being disingenuous with you (that's very important information).1
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