Conflicting information about how to pursue women?

Well I have always been told/taught that the guy should approach the women and ask them out. Yet as I got older been hearing conflicting information, especially now that I am lot older. For me I always have this feeling like if I like a girl, I gotta get this girl i like or else it is a failure on my part (which most of the times it could possibly be). Even though I try to be cool about it it could possibly come off as desperate to the girl. My family/friends have been telling me to chill out and wait. My thinking is I am getting older and never had a real relationship other than some dates here and there, more often then not I have been rejected. At the same time I always have to hear and see girls talking about/going after other guys including some of my friends. My whole situation doesn't take away the anxiety and possible desperation that I might end up single for the rest of my life. This is on top of he fact I am not much of a talker because I literally have nothing to say (even in normal situations I don't have much to talk about, despite people some how thinking I am good public speaker. Also say that I'm pretty funny despite me thinking that I am introverted and a homebody. I tend to just like driving around and going to places on my own, pretty much a loner normally). I dont know how to talk to a women and keep her interested, which is why I'm constantly looking for help. I am lookin for advice on how to be noticed by the opposite sex and keep them interested?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you have to keep them interested, there's a problem. Women usually like a guy that will be forward with what they want. Just let a woman know that you're into her and if she's a match it will fall into place. Don't get down about being rejected because that just means you're closer to finding right person for you. There's no deadline to finding that person.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no "right" way to do it. You get conflicting information because much of it is a matter of opinion. There is no one-size-fits-all. However some things work better than others.

    In general, yes, you need to be the one making the moves. There are exceptions of course. Making the moves by far gives you the best chances though.

    We don't know you. When someone on here asks a question, and mentions what friends or family are saying, I tend to place some weight on that. That doesn't mean they are right, but it does carry weight. I don't know why they are saying that. Maybe they think you are trying too hard. Maybe they just think you are being too hard on yourself. Could be lots of things.

    As far as keeping them interested, keeping woman you like interested is not really much different than keeping a friend interested. Start paying closer attention to how others react to you, especially look for things that might be negative. Also, pry more with your friends and find out in more detail what they think. If you can get them to be honest (which they might not be) then they can give better feedback than we can.

    If you are a loner, you'll need to find someone who is independent and not clingy. Some girls want someone there a lot, and that will probably be outside your comfort zone. You'll need a lot of time to yourself, so you need to be with someone who can provide that.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Being single the rest of your life isn't a bad thing. It's actually pretty damn sweet. Do some reading on divorce statistics, how bad men get raped in divorce, and female nature and psychology, and you'll quickly understand just how good you have it by remaining single.

    If I could change one thing about my past, I'd have learned all that stuff sooner. That would probably have saved me from false accusations, marriage hell, and divorce rape.

  • Nigga, you're at least 30 😂