Why do I NEVER get approached by guys?

So I asked a question similar to this awhile back to find out how I could be more approachable because whenever I'm at a bar or social situation I never get approached by guys.

I was told that I can look intimidating because of resting Bitch face syndrome. Which is totally not my personality, I'm a really nice/not bitchy person it's just ma face lol.

But I set out to change that a few days ago. I went out with a few friends and I made a point of no resting Bitch face, smiling lots, open body language, looking fun and as approachable as possible. I even toned down my usual night out fashion to jeans and a tee to look more approachable. And yet still NOTHING. Got lots of looks but no guys approached and I don't get it lol. And this is not me trying to be conceited, it's an honest curiousity and obviously what I'm doing isn't working lol.

So suggestions and/or explanations welcome!

Thanks everyone :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If the profile picture is yours then I'm not surprised that some guys might have fear of your beauty or think that you have a boyfriend and that results in never asking you out. Tho what you might to do if you are interested in some guy and know that he's single, show him some interest or bluntly ask him out. I'm sure the person who you ask out will be happy to go out with you :)

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    • 1mo

      Yeah I feel like that might be my next plan. Definitely nerve wracking though, I feel for these guys having to do it all the time! Lol

    • 1mo

      Yeah I know what you mean. I'm a guy myself so you know. I think that girls should put up themselves out there more, especially the one's who complain that no guys wants to date them. I would say either take a risk or stay single. That's how it does look like from my perspective.

      Another thing why some guys might not even know that you are interested in them is because many of us guys are simply oblivious. You might get naked without any underwear (bottomless), get with him in the bed next to him and he still won't make any move because they are afraid of making a move or being accessed of sexual assault or rape, that's basically what's a feminism done to guys. That is only one of many examples I have found on two very interesting websites which I will link for you, read it, it's very interesting.

    • 1mo

      Here's the links (Remove spaces between then read it) :

      http :// www. thedatereport. com/dating/attraction/10-hilarious-examples-of-guys-not-realizing-theyre-being-hit-on/

      https : // www. reddit. com/r/AskReddit/comments/1enoyl/girls_of_reddit_what_are_some_of_the_most_obvious/

      :)

What Guys Said 22

  • Have you tried breaking off from your friends and being by yourself for a little bit? I know some guys have a hard time approaching a girl, and they have a way harder time approaching a girl in a group.

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    • 1mo

      Yep I tried that! But I think I'll work on putting out more signs and even doing some approaching of my own :) Could help things along!

    • 1mo

      Well judging on the photo you have on here I can bet most guys are just being pussies because you are attractive. I work with models for a living and I hear about it all the time, they rarely have guys talk to them because dudes are scared or instantly think they will be rejected "shes' out of my league" mentality which is absurd.

      I do feel like if you did some approaching you would have no problems, I'm sure it would catch someone off guard, but they'd be dumb as hell to not speak with you.

  • I'll tell you why, i saw your pic and i already know why it's because you're attractive and a lot of guy's get intimidated by this thinking negatively instead of just approaching things they're saying in their mind "I'm not goodlooking enough", "She looks mean", " I don't have a chance". Those are some negative things that go through head, heck even i thoughy like this a while back but it's lack of confidence to approach you that's what it really comes down to lacking in confidence and not thinking positively when approaching a pretty girl. Confidence is something that factors into making a good imoression and without it, it can be hard ti approach a girl we want to talk to, ask out.

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    • 1mo

      That isn't her though. Lol gullible tool.

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    • 1mo

      Lol i believe you. 😆

    • 1mo

      Another thing smiling and showing friendly manner will definitely guve guy's the confidence to approach you. 👍

  • Men are demonized simply for being men , we are labelled negatively all the time , read this blog , edumckaytion.com/blog/men-notice-women-anymore/ , I think men fear approach due to seeming predatory & as perverts

    Many men have probably endured very nasty rejections too , as former door staff , I witnessed some groups of young women would make it a sick " sport " to be as nasty & humiliating to any approaching men , if they were sleazy , yes fair enough , but most were shot down for " entertainment " . I threw groups like these out , as they would spark violence , humiliated , angry guys & alcohol = trouble.

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    • 1mo

      That's so terrible but yes I have seen that happen from some nasty girls. Super rude making them terrified like that. No wonder they're nervous

    • 1mo

      I thought that blog post would be very appropriate for your post , it's NOT you at all , I can sense that you are a decent lady , but you MUST give super obvious " Approach Me !! " signals to any men you like. We are wired VERY differently to women , we are CRAP at reading subtle female interest cues , unless we have been well trained what to look for. You need to LOOK approachable... most women do give off a " Stay the F away " type vibe , NO man will ever approach her , to avoid a " FUCK OFF CREEP " rejection as per above !!

  • Try to initiate contact. Go to a crowded part of the bar (where you order drinks) where there is a guy you find attractive, say excuse me, and after ordering wait. Also drop your phone so they can pick it up. You could also stand outside shivering while waiting for your friends.
    All will push a guy to say or do something.

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  • They're just trying not to sexually harass you. Maybe you should approach them with social interaction consent forms?

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  • I think these days a lot of guys are really nervous and don't like the idea of approaching women. Sometimes you need to do things yourself to get things accomplished.

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    • 1mo

      Yep I think that's what I'll be doing next time. This is the 21st century after all haha

    • 1mo

      Yup haha, times have changed.

  • Gotta look welcoming amd friendly. When you see that cute guy smile at him.

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  • Like how friends tell me, you can't wish for things right then and there. It might take some time for a guy to notice you. Your very super beautiful tho. You find a very attractive guy one day that will treat you like a queen

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    • 1mo

      Thank you! I appreciate that! Yep I guess I'll just wait for the right guy to come around when its time haha

    • 1mo

      Hey, if it's ok, message me please

  • Maybe its because the guy thinks your too beautiful for them do you think that might be it?

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    • 1mo

      Thank You for the like if you don't mind me asking can we be friends?

  • If you "expect" to be approached... then maybe you don't have a bitch face at all... maybe you just are a bitch!

    I certainly wouldn't waste my time on a girl who thinks it's a man's job to do all the work...

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  • Tell me this, how would you like to be approached? And in what setting. And if I see you I'll try it out!

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  • If that's you in the profile pic, then unless you're living in San Francisco, I can't imagine why, because you are lovely.

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    • 1mo

      What's in SF?

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    • 1mo

      Thank you that's very nice! Thinking it might be a good idea to amp up my courage and try to approach guys instead haha. What's different about San Francisco though?

    • 1mo

      San Francisco is famous for its large gay male population

  • You did a lot of good things! Maybe those guys were just chiken
    You should try looking over at a guy you like smiling and saying "hi"

    He will definitely start a conversation after you make the approach

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    • 1mo

      Yep I definitely am thinking I'll make more of the moves next time. Nerve wracking but it makes sense that relationships should be a 2 way street. Thanks!

  • Try approaching them I don't understand why it always has to be a one way street

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  • are u black

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    • 1mo

      Lol so much this. Black girls rarely, if ever, get approached. On the other hand, hot white girls get approached much more than them, but only by alpha males with a lot of balls. That means Asian women and Latinas get approached the most because they are easier and less intimidating than white girls.

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    • 1mo

      @objectivetruth Being black definitely sucks

    • 1mo

      Lol nope white as white can be (being ginger and all).

  • Probably because you're ugly

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  • RBF is real shit. It happens with me too but not in dating sense way. In general people don't right up meet up but i have overcome this , smile little more, speak little more and have a funny friend around you. Good luck 🍀

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  • Either because you are ugly, or because you have resting bitch face.

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  • If Ur profile pic is true, I don't believe u.
    Live long and prosper ✌

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    • 1mo

      Haha yes my profile pic is true, and thank you :) Live long and prosper to you too! 🖖

  • if thats you in the profile pic, then come to california ill approach you :D

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    • 1mo

      Haha I lived in Cali for 6 months last year actually!

    • 1mo

      Lol but really maybe you try starting a conversation. Sometimes us guys feel like we are bothering you so we just "ignore" you. So you have to talk like you are interested also keep the conversation going ask questions, unless you really aren't interested then don't say much lol

  • Don't be afraid to do the approaching or make the first move if there's a guy you like. Guys more and more just aren't bothering anymore because rejection has become the "norm" and nobody likes rejection. I personally believe if more women initiated things and made the first move there would be a lot more relationships and happier ones.

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    • 1mo

      Yeah I'm seeing a lot of that suggested and I honestly think that I'll do that next time! I mean it is the 21st century and all. Definitely nerve wracking though I feel for these guys!

  • It's MUCH better to be single than with a modern woman

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What Girls Said 3

  • Im in the same boat as you. RBF and all. They're simply intimidated.

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  • How were you dressed? If you were dressed like your profile picture you should have had guys all over you.

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    • 1mo

      Well I usually dress similar to that picture (I like to dress up) but with no results so I tried dressing down a tad (jeans and tight tshirt) to be more approachable but still nada haha

    • 1mo

      Maybe you need to find other places to go. I know some bars/clubs where I live everyone knows everyone and if you're a stranger they pretty much ignore you. I'd stay with the dressed up look rather than the dressed down look, guys love to see a woman in a dress, at least around here anyway.

  • I know what you meani feel like you just aren't because they could really be shy or afraid of rejection so they dont approach

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    • 1mo

      Yeah that's a real thing. I mean I feel for these guys id be scared if I had to approach everyone too haha

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