Why wouldn't he want me to change my schedule?

A guy I met online (through a dating site we live several hours apart) was going to be traveling through this week and wanted to meet up. I told him I would be working that day, and would need to see if I could change my schedule and would love to meet up. He told me he will just make a trip to meet me at a later time. Why didn't he want me to see if I could get off work?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He just doesn't want to be too much trouble for you. I would not expect someone to change their work schedule either. A lot of companies and businesses frown upon people doing that, so he is just concerned you might get into trouble for that, or they might give you a hard time later.

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    • 1mo

      Oh no, I let him know that my company actually allows us a certain number of changes a month. I just wasn't sure about changing when my manage wasn't there (I know other people do it ALL the time). I told him I could check and get back, but he told me not to worry. I also told him if he let's me know I can just go in later and make up time (also allowed) if he thinks he can get through earlier. He told me he would see, but didn't seem too much like he was very concerned about it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He may have Thought you were Making up some Excuse and Could have Gotten... Super thinned skinned. It happens Online Sometimes when you Don't really Know one another, haven't Met up yet.
    Smooth things over by trying to do something to 'Change my Schedule.'
    This Chance for Romance may Never come along again, or even for a Long time with More than a Stone's Throw Here, dear.

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    • 1mo

      Oh no I've tried to tell him that I needed to see what I needed to do, and if he thinks he will be in earlier I can see if my manager will let me come in later (I work 2nd shift and he wanted to do dinner and had a lovely date planned). I've told him 3 different options, but that I would need to wait to see on Monday. He's told me not to worry and he will try to make a special trip soon, I just don't want to wait that long.

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    • 1mo

      Ohh, I see. I am sure as nice as you are, that you will figure this out and make it all right. xx

    • 26d

      Thank you for the Vote of Confidence. xx

What Guys Said 1

  • He didn't want to inconvenience you its almost definitely that simple don't overthink it. I mean he was the one who asked you if you had time first.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Because you were going to be at work... ... so he thought you probably shouldn't be asking to change your schedule incase you cause problems.

    Or he doesn't want you to take him too seriously. If you're going out of your way to meet him he might think you are too available/keen.

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  • Maybe he didn't want to bother you or force things.

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    • 1mo

      Perhaps. It's just taken me this long to get him to meet (after I was about to throw in the towel) and I'm afraid he could interpret it as disinterest

  • He doesn't want you to go through the trouble of doing all that for him this early in the game.

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    • 1mo

      Maybe, but who knows how long we will wait to finally meet

    • 1mo

      I mean he could also be in the mindset of "I don't want her to do that for me because then she might expect me to change my schedule for her as well".

    • 1mo

      Well I wouldn't expect that, I know how lucky I am to be able to be able to change my schedule.

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