Need some advice, bit confused about this guy :( ?

So I been talking to this guy on OKC for 3 weeks now. We met ones for coffee and I got an impression he is a rather decent guy, he was decently dressed, hair in order and was complete polar opposite of all the fk boys/gangsta boys that I went on to dates with. But I'm bit confused at the moment, I feel like I'm falling for him but there are things about him that make me bit skeptical. Things like:

1. He seems rather gloomy and bit too mature, I feel like he doesn't know how to unwind and just chill.

2. He has no degree, outside of having high school finished. His explanation was that he wanted to do computer programming but later on put the $3k towards some debt he accumulated as a result of his mom and never got around to going into computer programming program.

3. He says he is currently apprenticing to be a plumber... It's a such a dirty job... Like I don't get why someone who wanted to be a programmer wants to work as a plumber? What's so good or sexy about that job?

4. He had pictures of him on motorcycle on OKC. When I asked him if I could get a ride he said "Sorry can't do, the engine went on me and I don't want to waste money to repair it as it will cost me as much as I bought the bike for, so it isn't very logical to fix it. So I'm selling my bike AS-IS".

5. Me and my BFF went for coffee, and this guy was here. He did not say anything to me...

I told my BFF this same 5 points and she said he is probably a broke loser... I don't agree with her, but I don't quite understand him. Like he is a normal, and plain guy who seems to be pretty uptight... you know the kind you would want to have as your hubby as he would probably stick forever and love you, but being young I kind of want excitement in life, and I don't feel this guy would offer it to me, even so he seems like a very nice guy to have.

Any impressions about this guy from the 5 points, and what should I do? Should I give it a shot or move on? Please help. So confused :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Nothing sounds too much like a problem except for 5, and it depends on the circumstance. Depending on how much you guys talked, he might have felt as if he shouldn't say "hi." Since your bff was with you maybe he didn't want to intrude, maybe you should of said hi to him? Number 4, sounds logical, why would he fix his bike if its more to fix than its worth? Number 3, what's wrong with a "plumber," they make good money and could even set their own hours! Most people don't care if a job is "sexy" and it does seem to me that ~$50000 a year is a pretty "good" job. Number 2, who cares if he doesn't have a college degree? Not that many people do, no one in my family does other than my uncle with an as. Personally I want an MA or MS but what does it matter of he has a degree or not? Number 1, he could just be shy and that's how he acts around you. That's how some people are. I'm sure he'll unwind around you soon enough.
    It sounds to me that you're looking for an already finish guy. In reality you'll probably not find someone like that, you have to help build with a guy. None of your points sound too much like an issue, it sounds like you're more the problem than him. (Not trying to be rude) what points do you have that is better than him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • What does his job have to do with you anyway. Why does a man have to chose a job that's sexy for you? Are you going to go along? No. So it shouldn't matter. And for what its worth, plumbing is a really well paying job... which is probably a good thing because right now he sounds like he doesn't have two coins to rub together. Worries me that he mentioned 'debt' too.

    Bit weird that he didn't say hello when he saw you with your friend.

    Tbh, it sounds like this guy has too much stuff going on in his own life to be dealing with right now.

    I think I'd leave it for now.

    • Um, I don't know I never paid attention to the debt part. He seemed fairly nicely dressed and groomed, plus he had no problem paying for coffee and sweets which was like $15 each person. Also texted him yesterday about him not saying hi, this is what I got "Yeah I know you were there, and sorry for not approaching and saying Hi, but you were with a friend and I did not to intrude, plus I reeked a bit from work... so again did not want to be a nuisance."


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's sounds like a failure trying to get his life back together

    • Um, would you say thats a bad thing? If he is trying to make something of himself that can't be bad can it? :|

    • Show All
    • Well not uber wealthy but sufficient, my parents bought me new 2016 ats-v sedan for my b-day 4 months ago, so I don't know if you would classify that as wealthy :D. But for most part the guy doesn't know that my parents are pretty set, last coffee date I borrowed my bff's Fiat 500 :), I don't think he is the type that cares about money, pretty basic person. Just bit plain and boring and bit gloomy that's about it.

    • 1. Everyone cares about money.
      2. Fuck whatever your friend says about the guy. How do you feel?

What Girls Said 2

  • Neh move on.
    His job or education didn't bother me until I read him ignoring you when your friend was around part.
    And for you to be confused like this, this guy is not worth your time. You deserve better.. seriously.

    • I texted him yesterday asking why he did not say "Hi" or something. He said "Yeah I know you were there, and sorry for not approaching and saying Hi, but you were with a friend and I did not to intrude, plus I reeked a bit from work... so again did not want to be a nuisance."

  • Only 4 and 5 would be red flags for me. I mean, he saw you there with your friend and he didn't say anything to you? What the hell? That's impolite.

    • Here is his explanation for why he did not say Hi. He said "Yeah I know you were there, and sorry for not approaching and saying Hi, but you were with a friend and I did not to intrude, plus I reeked a bit from work... so again did not want to be a nuisance."