Why is getting a relationship so hard?

Being that I have lived 31 years in this planet and still haven't figured out what works for me to get. Iticed by women. I tend to be the guy, women just pass over until they are lonely or have no one else to talk to. On the other hand I'm the one who is pretty comfortable when I'm alone, but at times still wants to be part of something. Some guys know right words, and lines to say and the right moves to make. I have always wondered what it will take for me to do the same thing, because I'm always afraid to be labeled as the creep or that guy. Especially under normal circumstances I have nothing of importance to say, tend to be a homebody, speech problems or more like a my head is in a permanent state of disorder. What I mean is I'm always looking for the right words to say, and get jumbled up since the words my not come out as smooth as I want them. I think faster than I can speak, when I do decide to talk. Not to mention there is nothing about my life that says wow he has something to tell people, other than to try and make them laugh or a little bit of encouragement. I have just never really figured out how to get. Iticed and always see other guys just able to converse with women right off the bat and bam relationship. While if I do get a date it'll take me twice as long if the girl is patient enough to let me get comfortable enough to even speak to her. I'm just trying to figure out what it will take for a girl to even notice my existence and want to give me a try? Pretty much tired of all the rejection in terms of women and relationships.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to learn to observe people who are better than you in getting girls.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Its going to take a lot of work, some uncomfortably moments and some rejections, but you can fix this if really want to. Which it sounds like you want to.

    For me all my jobs have forced me into talking to random people while I didn't like it at first, now I give zero fucks about it. This was being in sales and marketing. It requires a lot of cold approaching people trying to sell them shit they probably don't want etc. This is basically what you are doing when you are going to talk to a girl that doesn't know you believe it or not.

    I don't suggest going to get a sales job or anything, but a lot of skills you learn trying to sell people can be implemented talking to girls at least for me it did. Its a very similar situation and some people just don't want to buy what you are selling. You can't get butt hurt about it, just brush it off and on to the next.

    You can't worry about being creepy or worry about anything at all, your mindset will come through in the way you act 100%. If you pretend like you are the shit and everyone would be crazy not to want to talk to you, this will be reflected in the way you act and talk. Essentially its what I tell everyone that asks about stuff like this. Fake it till you make it. I realize its a lot more difficult than it sounds, but its where you start.

    The bar is pretty much where I suggest starting. You aren't going to really find that relationship material there that often, but a little booze and an atmosphere where its not that strange to talk to people you don't know is the best place to practice I believe. Just don't get fucking sloppy hammered, keep your wits about you. If I'm at a bar there's been numerous occasions I've walked up looking at a girl and we just started making out without ever saying a word. Its the bar lol.

    It's also good to get a buddy to work with, that you force each other to go talk to the girl and don't be a pussies

    Literally talk about whatever the hell you want, just talk about random shit, throw out a bunch of topics until you get her talking then you can just take a step back and listen instead.

    There's no magic pill or instant fix. This is going to take some work, but you can do it without a doubt.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • Welcome to the club buddy! Same here for me. Been single for more than 30 years myself also. I don't use a real birthdate when I registered, 19 isn't my real age in case you are confused.

  • a relationship is no better than a horror movie... you should feel lucky

  • My problem is I am so shy and women want one of those alpha males that isn't afraid to say boo to a goose. Where as I am reserved, shy and introverted, so I never give away my feelings or intentions and I am highly guarded, so women think I am not interested and down swoops the alpha male like a falcon and steals my potential woman but the real kicker is the women were never my women to begin because I didn't grow a pair of balls and ask them out.

    You need to just try a different approach. Embrace new approaches and incorporate new ideas.