Why are guys intimidated by a girl with goals and aspirations?

So I'm recently single and meeting a guy is tough enough, but it seems that whenever I tell them about my plans to get my master's degree and eventually go to law school, they seem to get intimidated... WHY? Since when is wanting to be successful and poor quality to have? I'm a 21 year old senior in college.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing intimidating about that at all. You're a human being like the rest of us who has goals and plan's for yourself if a guy's acting like that, that's very weird behavior i wouldn't be intimidated , i would give you support amd tell you to keep doing what you're doing.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I can't speak for all men, but I think for me I might be intimated not by your goals and aspirations, but that you are reaching higher than I am and you might not find me so interesting anymore and leave. So it's not the goals or aspirations but the fact that they are higher than mine and I can't keep up.

    But also I personally would NEVER want to hold you back from achieving greatness in anything you do.

    (I hope that makes sense. And I meant no disrespect to you or your goals.)

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  • Women usually want to date up. If they're not doing so great, they want someone who has their life together. If they're successful, they usually want someone who is more successful than they are. As you get more successful, fewer men will be more successful than you. Maybe not all women think like this but many do, perhaps the majority. And men are aware of this, whether consciously or what. It shows that you have a lot to offer and many men will rightfully fear that they will not be good enough to meet your standards.

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  • It's natural for a boy to be intimidated , if you are successful and good looking it's unlikely that you are going to take any imperfections at all from a man , so rather than go for a driven career oriented girl , the natural reaction from your average joe will be to look for a less ambitious girl. It's partly media driven but in some cases true I'm afraid. You'll have to accept the majority of men with be scared to talk with you. But I don't think you will need to worry girls always have men coming on to them , you will just get the "alphas now"

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  • I feel you should rephrase the title to, "Why are (some) guys intimidated by a girl with goals and aspirations?" But, meh, too late now.

    It may be some indiscriminate aspect of your personality that put them off.

    It might be that they feel a relationship with you would be pointless, because you seemingly wouldn't have time for them.

    It might be that they like you and don't want to hinder your success.

    They may not want to be overshadowed. If they get in a relationship, they may find it embarrassing if they aren't the primary bread-winner in the relationship.

    There are many reasons they might turn you down. Just keep trying, and don't take it personal (if you do) when it doesn't work out. Just keep trying. The best you can do is be you, all the time!

    Good luck! :-)

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  • Well guys often assume you want a guy equally as educated and successful so if he isn't on track to earn and acomplish just as much as you are then he might figure its a waste of time to pursue you.

    Its also possible that they are losing interest in you for other reasons. Like maybe you seem conceited or obnoxious and give off that "I am a powerful independent woman and I dont need a man in my life". Or maybe you're not attractive.

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  • Because they want to feel superior, they want to be the responsible one who brings home the bacon. Not good reasoning, but some guys are just assholes. Or they just see power as masculine, and don't want to be around someone that's more "powerful" than them. Still not good reasoning though.

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  • No lmao. I hate girls who ask these questions. Yes. I'm too attractive and too goal oriented with big dreams/aspirations. THIS MUST be why guys don't talk to me. Cmon boyo. Think with some logic.

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    • 1mo

      That's not what she was saying at all. 😑 By your comment, you're obviously not attractive enough to get a girl yourself.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      Lmaooooo I always expect this response from you 😂😂

    • 1mo

      Keep telling yourself that guys don't want to be with you because you are going to law school lol. It's most likely another reason. This would expand your dating potential. I love how your default is to say I must not get any girls. Does that shut down a lot other guys or what lol.

      @puppylove94 lmao

  • I'm new to the site so this is my first opinion.
    I don't know about other guys but for me I'm not or ever will be intimidated by a girl who wants to be successful. I think its cool she wants to be I assume everyone would like to be. If I was in a relationship I would hope my girlfriend wanted to be successful.

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  • No. For the most part, ambition is exciting and admirable in a woman. I'm probably just biased because I have pretty big plans for myself too so my opinions probably aren't the norm.

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  • Nah, see, guys like that are just weak sauce. Move on to better folk.

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  • I don't think they're intimidated by you. It's likely your personality that's off putting.

    The fact you assume it's because of your goals is kinda' a red flag.

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  • If it was me im not intimidated i'm thinking she might well want or need me to support her finchley through this at some stage fair enough i will help if we have been together 10-20 years already and can but thats not how i want to start a relationship.

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  • im not but
    now that i understand whats going on
    I would never want you as a girlfriend or wife

    you have no idea whats going on

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    • 1mo

      lol what

    • 1mo

      you are probably a nice girl with good goals in mind
      i went through that phase already

      I use to make decent money
      have a car
      a place

      now that I understand
      whats going on im broke
      and I don't have much, but im okay
      cause what i was feeding into was horrible

      now that im not
      im glad, but it's not something
      most women are willingly going to walk into

      you wanna do law school and make good money
      I can't use you, this path isn't filled with money
      and women love money

  • wtf why would I be intimidated

    I would be like hellyeah dual income

    but law is a pretty saturated market so

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  • I am not because I am secured with myself. Good luck with your endeavors.

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  • my cousin is engaged to a girl who just passed her BAR

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  • A lot of guys will feel that they are below you and make less money and that you will leave them for a more educated man considering you are going to be around other lawyers and white collar professionals compared to an average joe.

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  • Alright, I'm kinda drunk so I'm gonna be real as fuck with you, so hang onto your butt. If you don't wanna read on, just ignore, but if you wanna absorb my info with a completely open mind, read on.

    Men don't give a shit about your master's degree or how successful you want to be. Even if they say they do, they don't. It's not that they're lying, it's more that they've convinced themselves that they don't care. They want you to be like a woman, so when you display masculine traits (i. e, strong meritocratic aspirations) you've devalued yourself. Yeah, I know, you feel good about yourself, it makes you happy that you might earn a lot of money for your high-status job and that's certainly not a bad thing, but it coincides with the type of life you ultimately want, and the type of life HE ultimately wants.

    You KNOW you're not gonna stay in permanent relationship with a man who earns less and has a crappier job than you, don't you? Ask yourself properly: "Am I 100% okay with marrying and having children with a man that I'm more successful than? Am I okay with spending the next 65 years of my life with this man?" You'll find your answer. You want a man who earns even more than you do, even if you earn a lot of money yourself, and please don't insult mine or your intelligence by claiming otherwise.

    To give a little example, Margaret Thatcher, arguably one of the most famous "strong women", certainly didn't enjoy that feeling when she looked back on her life and realised what she had sacrificed. Her homelife, getting to know her children, her interactions with her husband. She regretted her vocation because she sacrificed a part of herself to it.

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  • Women tend to date upwards in the economic/education world so many guys who may not be ending up with your equivalent or better of a degree might think you'd think less of them for it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • All of them don't do it. And the ones who do it's not that they're all necessarily intimidated, they get frustrated. Girls just bitch a lot about their careers these days and romanticize them as though they want to show the guy "hey look, you're important but don't forget my career is more important my career this my career that blah blah blah blah"

    Many of the bitchiest ones don't even have real careers or talents. lmao

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  • Good guys aren't, so use your goals as a litmus test to separate the wheat from the chaff.

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