Is it weird that I'm not interested in being in a relationship but more into my future?

Im 23 years old and haven't had a proper relationship. I've been in serious dating situations but have ended them because it didn't seem right or i just didn't click with them anymore, or i was just too busy with work. So im still a virgin.

Im just more interested in reaching my goals in life and feel like being in a relationship that doesn't compliment me and what i want to achieve will hold me back.

Is this weird? Anyone else like this? Should i be considering a relationship?

  • Yes
    16% (8)18% (6)17% (14)Vote
  • No
    84% (42)82% (27)83% (69)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|1
12|18

Most Helpful Guy

  • Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't worry about being in a relationship if you don't want one.

    1|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • No not weird at all, personally I promote people to put themselves and their own goals first before relationships. Relationships should never be ones top priority in life unless you have kids with someone then family becomes your priority.

    You don't have to consider a relationship, Im exactly the same as you and I usually don't get into a serious relationship if I feel like I don't click with the person well enough. I've been with some guys for over a year but nothing serious because I don't want to make it serious, since we just don't click in that kind of way and I really haven't got the time and effort for drama that serious relationships brings sometimes. Im in no hurry to have any serious relationship in my life right now either way.
    Sure its easier to look for relationships when you're in your 20s and probably in the peak of your beauty but obviously you don't want that to matter the most in your relationship anyway and a lot of guys in their 20s care more about looks than when they get older so really its not that big of a deal if you're not interested in relationships at the moment.

    If a person comes along that I get along with super well and I like then yeah maybe a serious relationship might happen but its not something Im focused on in my life right now at all and honestly it just makes life less stressing.

    1|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 17

  • I don't think it's weird, it's very much understandable.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Good for you!

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes, it is weird. And chances are with this selfish attitude reality will kick you in the butt one day when you realise that you waited too long.

    Truth is, yes - a relationship requires both parties to be on the same wavelength and such, but it also requires compromises and possible sacrifices for one of the greates trade-offs that are in life.
    Your attitude of "reaching MY goals" implies that your self-importance is bigger than any other.

    So yes, you should be concernced - because your priorities are questionable. Money and a career will not make you happy in the long run.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Interesting point. However, money is not apart of me 'achieving my goals'. Im finding people in my friendship cirlce are just wanting relationships. Just someone to love them. Where i believe you need to love yourself to fall in love. Not because you are lonely. Thats why i guess i enjoy having goals, like being a better a skill or making something of myself because i dont feel lonely or that i need someone to love me. I hope i make sense?

    • 1mo

      Trust me, I am strictly against the "having a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship". It's pointless at best, toxic at worst.

      That being said - you sound like you are the opposite extreme with your mindset.

    • 1mo

      Maybe i just haven't find that 'one' to make me think otherwise and am not really looking for someone. If they come, awesome, if not, im not going to just join tinder for the sake of it.

  • Life isn't all about getting into relationships, having sex and baby making. People put so much focus into it that they forget there's a big world out there. Do what makes you happy. Dont feel pressured or feel the need to force getting into a relationship. That's why it never feels right. When it happens, it will happen but just focus on your own self development.

    0|2
    0|0
  • What is it that scares you about relationships?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Not scared of them. I just dont feel like they are completely needed if you aren't going to be seriously committed or have the time in some regards to focus on a future with someone when i have so many things i want to accomplish.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      I didn't mean "went crazy" in a literal sense. I meant that you let the relationship consume your life for a while. Yes, people with balance and perspective are out there waiting for you to meet them.

    • 1mo

      Haha was going to say. Thankyou for your words though x good chat

  • Not in the least it's better to focus on your career first , then when you have more time for a relationship

    1|0
    0|0
  • No. If anything, that's exactly what you should have been concentrating on all this time. Love, from what I've been told, will find you. Don't seek it out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, technically you have lots of time. It's possible to start in your 30's or even later so long as you have the right attitude!

    It's never to late to look for love. However, it might be too late for some types of love after a while. Would you care if you missed out on young love?

    That's what you got to ask yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      This is how i see things. I still have time. So why not do me for a bit then look if someone comes, hheeyyy. But if not, doesn't really bother me because i have my goals to focus on. Thanks for answering x

  • I understand. I've felt the same way too. It's normal. Being in a relationship can indeed affect work. Just wait till you find someone who will instead help you with your life goals instead of being a barrier to it!

    Best of luck! ☺☺

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it is not weird.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It sounds uncommon, but not weird.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Whatever makes you happy is ok, just dont string anyone along and it will be fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe you could find someone in the same situation for FWB?

    0|0
    1|0
  • I am like you , want to meet you ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Fuck women. Disengage and do you.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I got the opposite problem. I'm 26 and never had a relationship. If I wanted one the girls weren't interested or if they were, they were either unattractive or clingy/crazy. I'm not super picky but I'm not gonna settle just for the sake of being in a relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds very smart babe.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 11

  • Not at all! As a matter of fact your focus on your future and career is the best scope of view you can have!

    You are living your life for YOU so why not pave a road to success and the security in knowing you have some kind of financial security blanket to fall back on when you retire and get into old age.

    You are smart. Smart people tend to think more logically. Though smart people are viewed as weird.

    While others are thinking in the here and now, you have your eyes set on bigger more brighter possibilities.

    0|1
    0|0
  • yeah I am like this too.. I have been with one guy and that was when I was 15.. and we broke up.. after that I just kept myself away from all that rubbish because it affects my studies and overall life.. I would eventually like to be serious of course... when I find someone who will like me for who I am.. my goals.. and all my achievements

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not weird focus on you, I'm the same :)

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nope not weird at all, and most people who do are either jealous, confused because it may not be the norm, or because they grew up with that in mind. That's what I'm doing and been doing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's actually very desirable: you have your own personhood, and will have that when marriage and dating does come.

    You'll be grabbed up pretty fast. Keep your standards high.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not weird at all. But you have to remember that you're always going to be "busy" & have a career to tend to. It's totally okay to step back from working so hard to take some time out for yourself & date.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope, focus on you, your future, your education. Thats what's more important.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, not weird at all!

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you don't want to be in a relationship, then you don't have too. Do whatever makes you happy (good things), then if you desire a relationship later in life, you could choose to be in one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are super young. Don't feel pressured to do stuff. This is your time. You're young wild and free haha

    1|0
    0|0
  • I accidentally clicked yes. I don't think it's weird at all. Do what makes u happy. Continue striving for your goals. I was like this once upon a time but I want both now. I want the happy relationship and success. If you're only doing this because of being hurt in the past (I know that was my reason) then I don't think it's anything wrong with taking a break to focus on other things but don't let it scar u forever & make u just turn down every single guy without giving them a chance and taking baby steps. Because there are bad guys out there but there is also good guys. All the best with everything! 😊

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Awww this, this is what i needed. This is my exact views. Trust me would LOVE to be in a relationship but i guess being heartbroken once before has taught me to strive for other things in life than just being in a relationship. Thanks girl xx

    • 1mo

      I can totally relate. You're welcome hun🙃

Loading...