What are ways that I can stop feeling insecure getting back in a relationship with my ex?

We were together a year and then broke up out of nowhere. He gave no explanation and I never heard from him again. It was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I also found out he was dating a coworker a few months after the break up for a couple weeks which about killed me.
4 months later.. he texts me and I give him the cold shoulder because I am super infuriated but my feelings for him never died. Not a day went by where I didn't think about him. He told me he did what he did because he knew that the way he treated me in our relationship was unacceptable and he just thought it would be beter to completely cut me off. It still doesn't make sense to me but we began seeing each other for a few weeks and it really looks like he's putting in more effort and really trying to change and be a better person.
Maybe I'm just being super insecure but now that we're back together, I feel like we're back to where we were. I feel like he's getting bored of me and not as invested in me as I want him to be. I'm scared to get too invested into him because I don't want to get hurt again but at the same time, I want him to want me.
He definitely has his own life and I have mine so I understand the importance of our space. He told me when we got back together there's no way he would ever mistreat me and that I am the one. He always says how he's definitely going to marry me.
How can I stop feeling so insecure in our relationship and not lose sight of myself?


What Guys Said 1

  • Damn, instead of fixing his attitude, he ran away from the issue... damn...
    I think you must take your time to really see him change, not take him on his word, but on his actions. He's got to Earn you back

    • 10d

      Can I still do that if we're considered back together and have already slept together? I mean he really did do a lot. He's taken me to expensive places and has wooed me

    • 10d

      Hmm, well if you really love him still, and you see that he's meaning it.. that his actions speak louder you could give it a try.
      Good luck

What Girls Said 1

  • He is obviously lying to you because his last relationship failed and you are his back-up plan. He most probably feels lonely. You shouldn't give him a chance.