Well firstly I've NEVER had sex before!! I'm scared of the idea of having a boyfriend because I'm scared of sex, I'm scared of sex because of the possibility of getting pregnant (I NEVER want kids) and well stds and stuff too but mostly the preagnant thing because like I said I never want kids and I've heard even if you use both brith control and condoms there's still a risk. So what should I do? Have you felt like this before too?
Most Helpful Guy
You have legitimate concerns, but you are way over thinking this and that always leads to more negative thoughts. The odds of you getting pregnant while on birth control are extremely slim. Same as condoms. One thing about condoms, always have your own. You don't know where the guys have been or what he might have done to them (poke a little hole with a pin?). If he doesn't want to use yours, he's not worth your time. A guy that doesn't respect a woman's wishes in that area needs a woman that doesn't care. Don't be afraid of sex unnecessarily. Is it possible to get pregnant using protection, yes. Nothing is perfect. Use of condoms have a 97%-98% success rate. Use of birth control pills when used properly gives you over a 99% success rate. Some say a 99.9% protection. If you miss the pill for even just a couple of days your odds of getting pregnant soar. I'm not saying you can't get pregnant, but the chances are so slim that millions and millions of people use them every day. Since you are so worried about this that you swear off sex because of your fear, I would definitely advise the pill. We do things everyday the don't have near the success rate of the pill. Do you drive? Statistics show that if you get your license at 16, you will have an accident by the age of 34 and 3-4 during your driving life. It's safer to use the pill than leaving your house everyday. Quit over thinking it and take advantage of one of the most enjoyable things in life. The closeness of two people when having sex is wonderful especially if your man understands all the things a woman needs in bed. It's definitely not all about the physical part for women. A man that gets this has a very happy lady.1
Most Helpful Girl
Its your decision. You don't have to have sex in a relationship, only when you get married. But since a lot of people do not believe in waiting, a lot of men will expect sex at some point. Sex is not safe with the wrong people and who you cannot trust. There is a lot of danger with sex when done wrong. Your normal and its understandable, because anybody can rape you, god forbid you end up pregnant unwanted, etc. Because sex is a binding contract for life. Your bound to that person spiritually through soul ties. Which means you will alway remember them sexually, relive the experience in your mind, and is bound to compare them to other people. You don't have to do something you don't want to do. If you feel safer as a virgin and to yourself, then stay that way as what I am doing in celibacy. You don't need to rush into something you will regret because others want it. Those other guys? Let them be.
I lost my mother who developed cervical cancer more and likely caused by getting an STD at a very young age as a virgin at the time. It is a lot to think about. Some may get cancer and get sick, while others are not out of the woods yet, but could develop something else. STD's are managed, not cured. Even with a preventive vaccine or birth control and condoms. Condoms canNOT protect you from everything. And birth control pill is not every woman, and it lowers your immune system. Without that, your are prone to diseases and developing other problems, or risk death with certain drugs. You have to make critical decisions on what you decide to do with your body. Because your choices now will effect the things you do in the future, including with your offspring, your marriage and the relationships you have with people around you in your life. And yes. I've been through the same problems you have, except actually dating anybody.
My solution and advice is this: Weep for the moment and let it all out. Don't hold back tears, pain and heartache. But don't dwell on it forever to the point your miserable and bitter either. And to let you know that your not allow. Because no matter what advice you get from a professional counselor. The reality is this: your either made for this modern dating or not. Somebody either loves you for you and honor your desires to wait, or they'll mock you. You have good men and evil men. But we live in an overly sexualize world that will shame anybody who's different, because they don't want to be judged or feel threatened by you.1