My girlfriend has no goals? Maybe? What does I'm more practical and live in the moment mean?

Is this a relationship killer? Is this a reason to break up with someone? I feel hugely disconnected from her right now.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I said to my boyfriend... I'm more practical and live in the moment, I'd be kind of saying that I'm enjoying myself now at this moment but I know what I need to do and practical about it)

    I'm 40 I'd say I sounded like your girlfriend at that age, if goals are massively important to you then you then that's great, but just because someone else doesn't have them in the same sense as you isn't a reason to break up... it sounds to me like could more than just that though?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So what does she want to do with her time? If she is just confused about what to do with her life, that is fairly common, assuming she is in the first half of her twenties. If she is refusing to get off the sofa, that is a different matter I would consider worthy of investigating my options.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Obviously long term goals are pretty important to you. Different personalities mean people express and connect in different ways. It's quite common among certain personality types to just go with the flow and respond to opportunities and experiences as they come up. This could be the case with her.
    The other thing could be, and I'm only saying this because there's a chance, it's possible life has dealt her a some hard blows and she feels it's not really worth pursuing the things she used to be passionate about. In that case, try doing some 'different' things together, take a painting class during a date, go for a walk in the countryside/woods/park, visit some tourist spots in a nearby town. Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery to rekindle old passions.

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  • She means that whatever happens in live, she wants to result from just that. She wants to see where life will take her, almost as if she accept whatever comes her way. Some people are just very reserved and calm like that. Some people make goals for the future, whereas others take it a day at a time, and if nothing happens in that day, they go to the next.

    I can't decide for you or anyone else if this is a deal-breaker in relationships. Just becuase something is different doesn't mean it's bad. It's only bad if it doesn't meet your criteria or preference.

    So, since this is bothering you and you're here questioning about it, I would highly advise you both have a long chat about it.

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  • I'd say sit down with her and find out what she's thinking. It makes a huge difference when you sit down. Open up and be very direct with her. Tell her it bothers you a little that she doesn't have goals and she needs to do something about it. She may make a little joke because she's nervous but don't laugh and if it turns into an argument then make her you don't support that argument (build up it) by yelling back. Be calm and tell her what she sees her future like. Tell her to be open. It's so simple. Don't make it complicated. Ask her HOW and WHEN she's gonna achieve them. Don't be her little bitch. It's cheap. Be a man and take initiative!!

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  • It means that she doesn't think of the future and rather live in the here and now. If you cannot see yourself having a future with her, and you both don't share the same views, beliefs, morals, ext, then its best to move on. Don't be in a relationship where you feel disconnected. You have to have a like mindset and be equally yoked. And it sounds like your not. Its like you have a future oriented mind and she sounds like she is lazy minded, in my opinion.

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  • She probably lives day by day and seeing where things go. I'm sure she has likes, dislikes, things she would want to accomplish. Is she successful in her own way currently? What is she achieving now? I would require more information to provide and adequate answer.

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  • Sounds like she might be younger then you? If that is the case then it sounds normal to me. If she is your age (25?) then yikes!
    The way you feel about her not having goals or ambitions is NOT wrong or shallow. Just like her not having goals

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  • Eh, that doesn't mean she doesn't have goals. It means she's not going to actively take steps to achieve them. I'm assuming that if you're 25, she's about 25, too, so that means that as a person in her mid-20's that she just lives life day by day and doesn't think about the future.

    But you have to decide if that is a dealbreaker for you.

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    • 1mo

      She is 32, said she gave up on her dreams because they never come true

  • If it doesn't go with your goals and objectives in life I don't think you have a future together.

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  • Maybe she just needs some help from you, she may have tried having goals and nothing was working so out so right now she just decided to take it as it comes. Try to see if you can help her figure out some stuff, see what made her start 'to live in the moment'. You maybe surprised at how your relationship may grow

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  • Help her find her passion, encourage her to explore and get out there, help her find a part time job. Talk to here about what's going on in your mind.

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  • Well.. Couldn't understand your question

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  • If that's not how you want to live your life then she'll never motivate you

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  • Depends. I know a couple people who are like that and doing better than lots of others I know- councillor, nurse, store owner etc. No goals and just seeing where life takes you isn't the same as lack of work ethic and having no drive.

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  • Talk to her.. But really, if you're working on yourself and living the moment, what she does won't affect you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • it means I have no ambition and don't live for the future. it can be a relationship killer because these type of people can be manipulative.

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  • It's a relationship killer if it feels like that to you, simple as that.

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  • It's not on you to fix someone that's broken. I promise you that if the situation was reversed your girl would have no problem leaving you for someone more successful. It's just the nature of the beast.

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  • Yeah girls will drop a guy bc he has no ambition, so you can do the exact same. The girls that tell you to stay with her are just being hypocritical

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