Why do people get mad at random guys or girls for talking to their SOs?

Is see situations like this a lot and I've never understood it.

1) A couple will be out and the guy goes to the washroom and when he comes back, there's a guy talking to his girl. So he beats the shit out of the random guy.
2) A girl looks through her bfs phone and sees that he's been dirty talking with some random girl. The girlfriend calls up the other girl and says that if she doesn't step off her boyfriend, she's going to get her ass whopped.
3) A girlfriend finds out her SO has been having an affair. She finds the other woman and reems her out in public.. but forgives her boyfriend without a second thought.

I am a very level headed person so I've never understood situations like these. I've been cheated on and I would never think of going after the person that my SO cheated with, they are not the ones that made the promise to stay faithful to me..

I've also been the person to walk up to a guy at a club (when no girls are around him) and start chatting him up, seeing that he's into it. When a girl runs up and starts screaming at me, like I am supposed to know that this guy I just met has a girlfriend.

Someone please explain how one can be mad at the person tempting your SO, but not be mad at your SO for being tempted.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are trying to solve a problem with logic when it's all about emotions. Also, it's easier to be mad at a total stranger than it is to be mad at your SO. with your SO, you have to deal with consequences. Them not talking to you for a while, having the problem thrown in your face all the time for a while, the hassle of constantly having to fight, etc. You can hate a stranger without consequences for as long as you want.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah I hate this. If my boyfriend cheated, I wouldn't attack the girl but him. If he didn't respond to her how can she seduce him?
    Many people are too afraid to confront their SO because they don't want them to leave. Blaming other people also helps them to feel better that their SO *was* actually not like that before she/he met the *third* person.

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What Guys Said 3

  • A lot of people are stupid emotional about sex and love. So no, it makes no logical sense. Jealous people are insecure and continuously frightened that their partner is going to leave them, so instead of confront their partner it's safer to confront the innocent third party.

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  • It's one thing to be a little jealous, but beating people up is stupid, illegal and juvenile.

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  • because some people are stupid like that.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Because they have no rights to talk to my man. They have rights to pass on by and gtfo but not to talk to him. Talking means they want to steal him which means they going down.

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    • 1mo

      But if they don't know he's your man... and your boyfriend does know that? Who's fault is it for letting this situation go on? Or even if they do know about you, they didn't promise to stay faithful? your boyfriend did. Why not put all the blame on your boyfriend since it was his responsibility not to hurt you

    • 1mo

      I don't care if some bitch gonna talk to my man or try to steal him away she's gonna have to fight me

    • 1mo

      Lol. I just realised you're 17. Okay.

  • The above three situations are all very childish ways to handle the situation and stem from insecurities in the relationship as well as not being mature enough to handle one in the first place. Secure relationships don't have those types of jealousy blow ups.

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  • If I found my boyfriend cheating on me, I would never reem out the girl. F her! My boyfriend would be gone immediately.

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  • Look the issue is simply this: People know what they are doing. They are not innocent with this. Lust is still lust. And if they can have it both ways, they would.

    Everybody is not going to know if that person is taken or married. It can be a friendly chat. But when your flirting with another person while taken, that is disrespectful. Sending dirty messages to someone else is trifling. But it shouldn't warrant in actually committing a crime on somebody. The best thing to do is confront your partner, and if they act like they don't have a problem nor an explanation of it, then dump them. That's all.

    You don't need to scream and yell. But, that person who KNOWS its wrong should warn you that they are taken and is seeing somebody. If they don't, then it is not your fault, let them take the heat. But this is why I don't agree with flirting in the first place, because you don't know who's cheating or playing who. Its a risk.

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  • 1) A couple will be out and the guy goes to the washroom and when he comes back, there's a guy talking to his girl. So he beats the shit out of the random guy.

    lol that was extreme but I do understand the slight jealousy assuming the other guy was flirting.

    2) A girl looks through her bfs phone and sees that he's been dirty talking with some random girl. The girlfriend calls up the other girl and says that if she doesn't step off her boyfriend, she's going to get her ass whopped.

    umm this was understandable lol
    I would be pissed at both the girl and the boyfriend. And break up too. wth

    3) A girlfriend finds out her SO has been having an affair. She finds the other woman and reems her out in public.. but forgives her boyfriend without a second thought.

    yeah this is stupid

    I think that person is probably not that strong enough to let go of the person even if they cheat.

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  • First one sounds like my boyfriend hahaha he's the jealous type I guess and he finds me hot and he says he always finds other dudes staring at me and he doesn't like it. That's just him being protective I guess, sometimes I wish he was a bit more loose about that.
    And for 2 and 3, I would break up with the guy lol. That's bullshit when they attack the victim instead of the cheater. But I guess some people don't want to believe that they have been cheated on so they lash out at the stranger because they're scared of being left. I really don't know

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  • i think it might be some kind of territory thing. i think it also might have something to do with insecurity, and that's why they forgive the so. however, it's f*cking stupid. if i caught my so cheating, that person would be in deep sh*t. however, if the girl already knew he was taken then she deserves punishment as well.

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  • Why would you get mad at someone if they ate your most delicious dessert

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  • lack of confidence and being overly territorial

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  • 1 seems a bit unrealistic. Unless the guy is touching the girlfriend, or being assertive, then attacking him is not called for lol.
    2 is normal to me. You find out that your boyfriend, someone you loved, is cheating on you behind your back. That shit hits HARD. And emotions override and all of a sudden you want to just hurt her and your boyfriend. Your first impulse might be to call out the boyfriend first or the girl first. It's just the way some people are.

    As for your other statement about being yelled at by a girlfriend and you not knowing her boyfriend was take, I can only suspect the guy had a history of being unfaithful and the girlfriend was probably like "not this shit again". You never know the full story.

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  • Girl i totally agree with you on this. The one they should be mad at most is their lover. But if that person already knows he/she is taken/married, yet still make the move, i would be mad at them too, but more mad at my lover. I think thats just how most people are like, they get mad at the other person other than their lover.

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  • Because they love them too much and have no confidence in themselves so they afraid their SO would leave them

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