Was it assault/abuse? Please help😔 Im so confused?

I have known this guy for awhile. It's been three years since I've seen him. Awhile back we got into a fight and I said some things I shouldn't have and so did he. We decided recently to try again and tonight was the first night I have seen him in awhile. When I got there he seemed rude and arrogant. Even though I apologized and thought we were a clean slate. He got mad at me again because I didn't pick him up food. I didn't have any money. He got mad because I was afraid my car was going to be towed. And he tried to pull my pants down and I said no and he got mad and told me to leave. During when I was with him though we were sitting on the couch watching football and all the sudden he forced me down over his knee with his hand around the back of my neck and starts spanking me and saying that I deserve it for being such a bitch😔 I feel so violated, hurt, and angry. I got out of there thank god. I am so confused on what to call what he did to me. When he did that I did not consent, I was fearful, and I had no control of my body. I tried to push up with my arms but I couldn't😔


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Definitely sexual assault. Don't go back to him he's clearly mentally unstable and you'd only be putting yourself at further risk.

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    • 1mo

      There's not a shot in hell I am. I blocked his number and everything. I'm just scared he might find me or worse😔 Is this worth telling the police?

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    • 1mo

      Well I'm going to consider is assault because A. I did not consent to it what so ever. B. I was fearful and C. He was not letting me go after I said "please let me go" and he said no. I felt my heart drop

    • 1mo

      Oh it definitely is assault. It's just proving it is an assault in the eye's of the judge then going through the potential months of courts that might not be worth it for you, as you'd have to essentially continue living through it every time you retell the story. That's why it's a tough call. Ultimately cut him out of your life that's step one. Other than that it's whatever you feel comfortable with. You are 100% in the right no matter what.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. That's abuse. Cut all contact with him. He's a terrible and wretched human being. I don't care how great he might've been in the past, things are different now. It's like that with some people... I'm sorry that it's this way and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that pain. But you can't let ANYONE touch you like that! No matter who they are or think they are! You're better than that. Block him immediately on all platforms. He's not allowed to contact you for ANY reason. You need to stand up for yourself and you can NOT allow yourself to go back to him. I know this is harsh, but it's true. Soooo many people go through abusive relationships... (I've... Yeah... In one...) ... Trust me, you'll regret this so much later in life... Get rid of him now before he hurts you even more. Because he will. What he's probably going to do next is try to lure you in again. He's going to be sweet and apologize and say that he was wrong for treating you that way. BECAUSE HE IS WRONG! Accept his apology and say "thanks but no thanks. I won't let you treat me like that. Don't expect to ever see me again. Goodbye." And cut him out. He's a cancer to you now. Trust me, trust me trust me... He is never going to be worth any pinch of pain. He's a low life... And you don't deserve this at all 😔 Again, cut him out before you get hurt again, and don't accept his apologies... He has sexually abused you. People get arrested for that stuff. This is serious. Very very serious stuff. No games are to be played here. This will probably be very hard to do, but you have to. I know that you're hurting really bad, emotionally and physically... It's okay... It gets better ☺️!! But please... If not for you, for me... I've gone through abusive relationships... It scarred me forever. I've nearly killed myself so many times because of it. My life is a reck and forever will be... But this is still really early! PLEASE!! Cut him out now! ... please.. Help yourself... Good luck... And thanks for being strong and getting help! You can do this, it's almost over, no pain. And if he harasses you, call the police, and get him away from you. Sorry about all of this... If you need more help feel free to PM me! Get through this, stay strong 🤗💗💗

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What Guys Said 3

  • That would be sexual assault.

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  • That's abusive

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  • Yes.. it is abuse.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He's 100% an abuser... mentally, physically , sexually and emotionally. Cut all means of contact with him, and never meet up with him again. If he persists by harrassing you... call the cops. Take control by going down the legal route... if he won't leave you alone that is.

    If he doesn't have a criminal record already, he's heading for one. I'll be very surprised if he's never been arrested before.

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  • It Is100% assault and you should definitely tell the police if you are afraid of him. I would tell the police. It's good for them to have a record of the incident incase he ever tried to contact you/follow you again/ assault you again. Please be safe and tell the police and someone you trust. I had an ex last year who was abusive and in the end actually became mentally unstable. There was a while that he would follow me when I'd go out I would have to tell my friends and the security guards so they could keep an eye out. Please look after yourself you just don't know with these type of men. Tell the police it's definitely abuse not just sexual abuse but also emotional and psychological because he is trying to make you feel bad for not buying him food or not doing something for him like you're his servant or something and you most certainly are not! Value yourself please, stay away, he will not Change and tell the police He could do this to another female in the future or already have a record and this would help women be safe from men like this incase he is like a rapist you just never know with that type of behaviour.

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    • 1mo

      And please don't feel sorry for him. I stayed with my ex for ages because I wanted to help him, he had a lot of issues a troubled childhood Etc Etc and to be honest I feel like he used it as a way to keep me because he knew I wanted to see him well and help him, but we can't help them. They can only help themselves when they see they have a problem and it has to be from a professional not us as females because we put ourselves in danger and feelings get involved etc. From experience my advice is stay away and think about YOUR safety and happiness

  • Sexual assault! Just stay away. But I heard you should always report to the police. Even if they can't do anything, always report it right away. Because of something God forbid happens to you in the future like he tries doing it again or something, you can't say what he did in the past for them to "consider" it it HAS to be reported. Tell them if you fear him not to let him know if you don't want him to. He has mental issues seriously. I'm glad you're okay. Hugs!!!

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