Is this normal for online dating?

I use online dating and it clearly does not work for me. I don't think I date much for a woman in her 20s who is on a dating site, as I only met 8 guys this year. They were all first dates, except for two. I hung out with each one twice. It's funny that I receive 15-20 messages a day but I rarely respond to guys because I know I would not be interested. I find that guys I talk to rarely ask to meet. If they do want to meet they ask last minute, which means they are rude or only want sex. Also, I find it sad that I often end up responding to and meeting guys who I'm not crazy about or attracted to. I also know that when I first start talking to them. It's not that I respond to them because they were my type and I'm really interested. It's because they just seemed better than everyone else who was sending me a message. They just seemed polite and decent. They weren't the worst looking guys. That was all. I guess I'm not attractive. I would think attractive single girls have dates every week.

I wrote enough in my profile and posted clear pictures of my face and body. I wear makeup, do my hair, wear skirts. I use okcupid and POF and I live in Houston, TX.


What Guys Said 1

  • No, that seems pretty normal. You don't sound like you're all that into dating so I wonder why do you do it at all? Is this something you enjoy? Because the big thing is you don't have to date. There are definitely other things to do with your life and if dating just isn't your thing then it isn't your thing.

    But yes, on those sites, women typically get inundated with messages so 15-20 messages a day seems pretty normal if you're female. I will say this though -- from your question, you're pretty hard to read. If the above question was a conversation that was contained in an online dating exchange, I'm not sure I'd ask to meet either as you don't sound interested in dating yet you use a dating site fairly frequently. If someone is going to commit their time and energy for a date (like a real date, not a hookup -- I think you're correct to exclude the last-second guys), then it's going to be with someone who I feel is going to enjoy herself when we go out.

    • 6d

      I like the idea of dating and what other people have. I have never enjoyed dating myself, but I wish I could. I never met a guy who made me feel, "Wow, where have you been my whole life" and things actually worked out with him. I've been single my whole life.

      I make it clear in my profile that I am there for dating and I do not like to chat with people for months. Sometimes conversations are dry, no chemistry. I understand that. But I think why they don't want to meet is usually for other reasons. They are just talking to me out of boredom, having an emotional affair, decide to date prettier girls, playing games and not actually on dating apps to meet in person, etc.

What Girls Said 1

  • If it's not for you, it's not for you. I stopped using dating sites because I was not attracted to any guy I met up with. And I've met many. I started doing online dating when i was 20 and I'm now 25 and I've been off and on okcupid. I finally quit this year. Out of all the guys I've met, I've only met one whom I was atracted to. And it didn't work out because I moved soon after meeting him.
    I found someone without using a dating site though and I haven't wanted to since then.
    It works for some people. Not everyone.

    • 6d

      You are right. It does not work for everyone. But sometimes I feel like it has worked for everyone but me. Also, neither real life nor online dating has worked for me. I guess dating is just not my thing.