How to get more guys to give me a chance?

I've been back online trying my best to message guys. I'm finding most of my messages go unanswered. I know that that's basically online dating in a nutshell and that I should just keep trying. But what should I do to get more guys to take a chance on me?

I have plenty of pictures up, so it's not that I have none.

Guys what makes you want to talk to a girl online? Anything that I should include in my profile to make me more approachable online?

Ladies, do you have any tricks for getting guys to message you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most unanswered is normal.

    Are you getting a message back like 1/4 of the time, or way less?

    Make sure your pictures are accurate... but good. If they're just selfies or cellphone snaps, find that friend of yours who is in to photography to take some good SLR shots in makeup with natural light.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get 30-40 msgs everyday on pof.

    I don't write much about myself on my profile.
    I keep it super short describing my personality/myself and that's it I don't try to explain myself there. People tend to not read long ass introduction.. I mean that will help them get to know you better but unless they're completely attracted to you, no guy will spend his time reading the whole essay.

    And picture is very very important.
    Let's face it. Guys pay +80% attention to girls pictures. Her career, education come wayyy later, majority of them even careless. They have to like your pictures first before anything.

    Put pictures of you in makeup, hair done nicely. Lighting is important too pictures with good lighting look way much better. show them picture of you smiling, having fun at bars, restaurants, parks, traveling like show them how you enjoy your life, give them some happy positive vibes.

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    • 1mo

      Am sorry but... guys don't like makeups and fake smile pictures of girls... at least the non-perverts don't. Better be natural.

What Guys Said 18

  • Pictures are the most important for both genders. You should have pictures that shiw you having fun and give the person confidence they know what you look like. If the person looking at your profile gets even a slight impression your pictures are hiding something chances are high they'll skip over you.

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  • i had the same issues online dating. lots of unanswered messages. perhaps consider a different site. i don't really know tricks for getting responses aside from asking open ended questions so it may encourage more responses

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  • There are differing things guys seek from girls since every guy has their own personality and lifestyle they lead. Its a matter of being persisently charming to anyone you think is cute and if it happens you're their type, chances are theyll contact you immediately. Everyone has their type, remember. Maybe they like a particular girl and you dont fit that criteria for example body type

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  • The trick to getting guys to message you is to show cleavage or ass.

    And as for tips for getting guys to respond the most important thing is to have an interesting opening line. If someone texts me with just "hi" or "whats up" I usually don't even bother responding since in my experience 90% of the time it would just end up being a really boring conversation.

    If that doesn't work then you should probably aim a little lower, cause you might be messaging guys who are over your league.

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  • I need some more information about I give you a good answer. First of all are you attractive? (In case if you use tinder it means you are because you can't message the guy if both of you don't like each other)
    Secondly, are you messaging only really hot guys or also average and ugly guys? Keep in mind that if you message only really hot guys they are messaging many other woman at the same time so they have the luxury to not message you back or let you wait (especially if they are jerks too and keep you as a reserve tire in case some girl refuses them they write to you)

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    • 1mo

      I'm not messaging hot guys. Only regular dudes. I'm not sure what my attractiveness level is. I've had lots of guys tell me I'm beautiful. I've gone in Whisper and asked random guystuff.

    • 1mo

      I see but did you use tinder or some other app? I mean did you use some app in which you can message each other if both of you like each other look?

  • Do you have the right pictures? I don't message back if she isn't smiling and show her teeth, too many group pics because I don't know who she is, I don't see a clear face pic, I don't see a clear body pic, if she has a kid, unemployed, doesn't write anything about herself. Oh ya, and you obviously have to be attractive

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    • 1mo

      I have a full time job and don't have any kids. So those shouldn't be issues for me. I don't like to show my teeth in my smile bc my teeth are uneven and I don't have money to fix them or get veneers.

  • Hmm. . I get all kinds of beautiful young to thirtyish women sending me pics and trying to contact me.

    Their all scammers, though. My demographic makes me the perfect target. Really, Ghana, South Africa, Nigeria & Russia/Eastern Europe are the biggest perpetrators.

    So, I don't know. It's on hold for now. I have a lot on my plate anyway.

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  • Just to see things clearly, which dating website are you using?

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  • Consider giving us a synopsis of what your profile states. You may have something in there that's pretty off-putting for lack of a better word.

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  • Strange the short time I did online dating, I would always keep the messages going

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  • add me lol

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  • message me and i will always reply ;)

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  • Don't ask for a chance. Give me a chance.

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  • Tits or GTFO.

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  • It's online dating...

    You are probrally getting a load of messages from guys you don't want right?

    And the "hot" guys you are messaging are getting a ton of messages maybe.

    Which site are you using?

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    • 1mo

      I'm using pof. And no I don't only go after the stereotypical hot guys. I go for regular dudes. I go for guys who have things in common with me.

    • 1mo

      I haven't used POF but are you messaging guys that are active?

      Do you have clear pictures up?

      No group pictures, and you don't need too many, just 3-4 as you can have too many.

      Just show your face, clear picture, one of body to be honest.

    • 1mo

      I think I have about 4 pictures up and they are all clear and show my face. I don't have any group shots either.

      I've messaged several guys now and I've only gotten a response from 1.

  • There is nothing wrong with you! Get off the dating site and go out. You'll get faster responses by meeting people in person than some random person on the net who will most likely play games (this is arguable though).

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    • 1mo

      You couldn't be more right. People have less invested when they haven't met you in person. Your just a picture to them online.

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    • 1mo

      @matt1209 Ok, will do.

    • 1mo

      @matt1209 Thanks for following back. You can check out my question any time you get a chance.

  • either this is a troll post or you are exceptionally ugly

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    • 1mo

      Not a troll post

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    • 1mo

      Yea, I guess that means I'm exceptionally ugly :(

    • 1mo

      im curious now

  • Give more guys a chance?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hmm yes it takes quite a while to finally start a conversation with a guy, it almost always does! Try starting the conversations in a different way, something that shows a bit more of your personality. You need to catch his eye! It can't be the typical "hey, what's up?" Kinda stuff, because that's so dry and boring. Everyone's tired of reading that! Try spicing it up a bit! Say something like "are you into reading? Because I just read this amazing book that I need to talk about with someone!" Or something like "I'm so excited for the new season of breaking bad! Have you watched any of it?" Of coarse don't use my examples of they dot apply to you, but be creative! Try promoting one of your interests and if he likes that kinda stuff too, boom! You already have somethings in common and to talk about! You're literally breaking the ice right then and there! It makes things a ton easier for the both of you! Good luck! :)

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  • Is it possible that it's not your pictures which are not attractive but your profile itself? Maybe you sound condescending or rude or overly picky?

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