Online intercultural relationship, am I doing the right thing?

Hello, I am a 17 year old girl and I've been in an online relationship for 4 months now (we were online gaming friends before and we took our friendship to a next level...)

anyway, he is (brace yourself) a 24 year old guy living in Pakistan (I'm in Canada). Before everyone gets judgmental, we are talking to each other everyday, mostly by cam. He doesn't really "act his age" and I am more mature and serious than him (he has ADHD).
Both of us a virgins (he is Muslim so he has to wait till marriage)
I really trust him, and he really trusts me… he is very kind, attractive in a nerdy way :P also very sensitive… :(
but we have a lot of fun to together and just recently I realized how happy I was with him… (I wanted to break up a few times before)

Problem is… I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.. or I am just desperate... I think I truly love this guy, he shows me a lot of affection and kindness... he has an innocent mind so very easy to manipulate... I am afraid I'm being crazy... that I shouldn't date this guy... even if I feel happiness and joy everytime we talk (he's the one staying up all night for me when I'm going through my day) I hate having doubts about this... I find nothing wrong or off about him... he is easy to read and I can see that he is more in love with me than I am… I know that online relationships are bad... but I don't wan't to break up... we are planning to meet in 3 years (if everything goes right with my study in IT) he will be visiting don't worry!

I know its a very long post but I wanted to make sure you have enough details, I need to know if I am making a mistake.. that maybe my feelings for him are pure delusions or craziness...
I mean.. we have 6 years between us (I am 18 at the end of this month)/we are very far away from each other/he's Muslim, I'm atheist…
I never had luck with irl relationships even if I work out and I'm not unnattractive, just very introverted…!!!

Thank you for your time. <3


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Online relationship worked for me
    I'm in serious stage now, by serious I mean marriage
    At first people were telling me that online relashionahips are not real
    Then I found out this girl is the most compatible part , that's about online relationships

    But I think you guys miss the compatibility part,, he's from different part of the world , he has different man/woman /relashionahip model

    Bottom line: you are the only one who can decide, cause you are the only one who knows the situation really good

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    • 1mo

      Thank you for your answer! I'm glad it worked out for you!! :) I understand the cultural differences and it bugs me a little.. actually no, im freaking out over this… I know everything is going great between us (we just had our daily 2h call :p) But the fact that he lives far away in a very different culture gives me second thoughts about this.. we are not at a serious stage yet, 4 months is not enough to tell... but he does make me happy… I just don't wanna jump into something "new" like this without thinking...

      Oh and I have to ask, are you a fan of the band Dimmu Borgir? \m/

    • 1mo

      Of course they are my fav band

      Look sometimes differences are a good thing in relationship
      You are the only one who can decide that

What Guys Said 2

  • Man if only my online girl thought like you -sigh- thing would be much easier. The religion part might be the problem for future relation.

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    • 1mo

      Mmh what do you mean by thinking like me?

      Also yes the religion seems to be the biggest problem in everything I wrote...:/ I hope that everything will be fine if we get serious...

    • 1mo

      Let's say that we are alike she's 17 i'm 22 i'm the child one she's the mature one i had adhd when young both virgins and we are together since April from different countries we talk everyday well not recently she said cause if college but not sure and she want to have a real boyfriend cause there's a chance we'll not meet -sigh- Anyway if you think that everything would be alright it would be, as long as you guys have communication between you two everything will be fine.

  • I problem I see besides distance is that he Muslim and they are very strict with it and since you're not I doubt it will turn into anything more than online friends

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    • 1mo

      You are right about those things, but so far, I don't think I am wasting my time, things are going great between us and the topic of religion hasn't really come up yet, but I know he doesn't pray and surprisingly his parents are not that strict about religion either, but they still believe in Islam a lot… I just hope that if our cultural differences are too much, we can still meet in 3 years and be good friends... :)

    • 1mo

      Anything is possible, at least you're aware of the problems

What Girls Said 0

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