A question for guys?

Guys: to you does your girlfriend have an obligation to have sex with you and if she doesn't is that a good reason to break up with her?

Updates:
1mo I should clarify that your girlfriend is not comfortable with having sex just yet but will in the future.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. The point of a relationship is sharing life together in order to make both partner's lives better. Sex is a pretty big deal, in this regard. In this implicit social contract that you sign with another person, both of you have separate ideas on what a "relationship" entails.

    Since "no sex" is pretty much never on an *implicit* social contract, it would be unfair of someone to go into a relationship without *clarifying* what they want out of the relationship. Really, everyone should do this, anyway. But especially with something like "no sex ever".

    I would view it as full rights to break up with the partner if s/he did not ever want to have sex. Or didn't want to have sex for a long, long time. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. It definitely makes women get closer to the man; and it can make a man get closer to the woman.

    I also want to clarify an important difference. An "obligation" does not mean you are *required* to do something. For instance, you are *obligated* to go to work every day. But nothing is stopping you from not going into work. You will get fired, but that doesn't take away your ability to choose what you do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hope not, but keep in mind that if the sex drive is different you might not be that compatible, you can't like say no everytime

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What Guys Said 16

  • no obligation.

    obviously, it'd be nice if we both naturally wanted to have sex with each other.

    but still, no obligation. she had her own life before we were in a relationship and that still stands even during.

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  • No she does not have an obligation to have sex with me or anyone just as I do not have an obligation to have sex with her or anyone else either. As for breaking up due to sexuality compatibility that is up to the individual person as soon value it way more than others

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    • 1mo

      Well then the guy should understand that she is not comfortable yet and hopefully be patient enough to wait until she is ready for it

  • Hmm, well to me is not so much an obligation per se. To me it would be about love. Everyone has needs in different forms. I care about her needs for example and would always do my best to give her what she needs and want in life, why shouldn't she care about mine? Which would lead me to question if she really love me or care about me. Which is a good enough to reason to break up. Love shouldn't just be one sided.

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    • 1mo

      And the update completely changes it yes. While I dont think fear should hold people back for example, from being intimate, but naturally people should just take their time to get comfortable. Hell I need time myself. Like people these days seem to think few weeks or 2-3 dates is enough, but to me that is silly little. Dont get to know people at all in such a short span of time. For me I guess its been about 6 months everytime and thats fine by me. Always let the girl take the first step anyway like that, whenever she feels comfy enough, im usally comfy myself at that point.

  • He should wait til she's ready, bottom line.

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  • She has no obligations to do that but if we are not compatible sexually im going to break up im only willing to wait 3 to 6 months. After that if feels like she is keeping me on a leash and i dont like that.

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  • No and no. That's what hookups are for.

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  • She's never obligated , although what's all the waiting about. Clearly this isn't some great idea without knowing the reason behind the wait.

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  • That's dumb. There's no such thing as an obligation. I value a woman's wishes and respect her boundaries.

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  • No she doesn't, there is a lot of relationships where one of the people are asexual and don't even like to hold hands. So no, if you love someone having sex, or even kissing isn't a requirement. If he has, or threatened to break up with her then he is an asshole. That being said, if this is the first time he said it, he may be stressed because he wants to get closer/have a deeper connection/become one.

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  • No, but things like this should be discussed in the beginning.

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  • Of course not, she wouldn't be obligated to do anything.

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  • Deal breaker. I'd never continue anything without sex.

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  • She isn't a girlfriend until we have sex. She'd be dumped after 3rd date with no sex.

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  • No she's not obliged.

    Yes it's an excellent reason to break up with someone.

    Regarding your update, it's up to the individual to decide if they are:
    - okay waiting
    - confident at all of sexual compatibility if they DO wait.

    The answers to the first tend to depend on how serious they are about the person, and for how long, and if they are being sexual in other ways. The answers on the second depend on why you're waiting, if you're doing things in other ways, and if there are signs that you would be compatible.

    There's not much point 'waiting' to then go 'yeah, we're totally incompatible' and break up then.

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  • Kind of an of odd question really. If I'm not having sex with her already, then she's probably not my girlfriend! lol!

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  • why would i have a girlfriend that wouldn't have sex? isn't the sexual attraction and the sexual act what takes people to the next level? if were not going to have sex, then were just friends

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What Girls Said 1

  • well thats just a jerk lol

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