Im 28 and never had a girlfriend does this sound odd?

I've been told im attractive, a gentlemen, and a good person but for sone reason I've never taken the initiative to go out and look for someone. Would anyone please share some advice on how I could start to take that first step. I have no experience eith sex either not even kissing :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Two of the loveliest husbands I know (one is married to my sister and the other to my friend) had never dated or kissed before they were thirty. Then they met the right woman and everything seemed to just work out. Both have been very happily married for over 20 years, kids, great marriage etc. I've dated guys who've had many many girlfriends nd some who've had none. Believe me you are attracted to the package, not his experience (it's not a job interview!). If you are a decent sweet guy many women will find that lovely and will be patient and kind with you, believe me!

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    • 1mo

      i really believe that to be the case. thanks for sharing this because it makes me feel good knowing not all women look for experienced men. I have my life together rather well so its just a matter of time i guess

    • 1mo

      I'm guessing they met their wives, got their first kiss in their early 20s

Most Helpful Guy

  • People live life at their own pace. there's no set time to start trying to date. Better late than early. And I think being 28 with little experience can attract the right girl because you can be more genuine.

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    • 1mo

      thanks thats exactly my thoughts about the situation im in. I not a complete novice but it just makes me think how I've never taken that leap before while other have had many under their belt by this age

What Girls Said 7

  • Not really. For most people who dated far early it is odd. But for people like me, who never dated, is a virgin and never been intimate, its not. At this point you need to figure out what you really NEED for yourself right now:

    -To date, or not to date.
    -Are you suitable for dating, or your not? Because not everybody is meant to have a relationship or getting married. Others have different callings in their lives. And dating can either enhance it, or hinder you from living and doing what is needed. It depends on your desire and what your called in this life to do. Everybody as a certain gift. But it depends on how its being used.
    -And what is your goals for dating if you want to.

    At the same time, you have to have vision:

    -Do you see yourself being Married? Being a husband? Father? Leader? Head of the household? Submitting to your wife and your family in obligation and love? Submitting to God to all things and to show you how to raise and lead your family.
    -And if so, what kind of person do you NEED in a wife? Not just wants.
    -Lastly, you need to figure out your morals and belief's for this: Do you believe in premarital sex, or waiting till marriage? This is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! The make or break. Because you will come across somebody who will NOT have sex before marriage. Or may want to do other sexual things your not into or wouldn't do. So make sure you are aware of this, as this is how 90% of today's society date's and operate.

    And of course you have to set boundaries, find out their goals, hopes, dreams, and wither or not they want marriage, kids, etc. Find out their morals, views, value systems, beliefs, if their religious or not, believer in God or not, etc. About their family, how she was raised, all these things needs to come to play, includes wither or not she is a virgin, how many partners if she is not, and wither or not she got tested. And if no, then she needs to be tested, without fail. Or don't date her, let alone have sex with her.

    Hopes this helps.

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    • 1mo

      wow this is by far the best answer i could of ever hoped for thank you very much. everything you said is right on point. I feel like im in a good place in my life and a person entering my world could either push me harder or hinder my movements for sure. Ill meditate on what what has been said here thanks again 👍

  • Taking the initiative is the first step to getting out there. Dating became so complicated over the years, it's insane. If you want to meet people, especially women, go to events that interest you. You can even take a class in a hobby you enjoy. Many people tend to find partners this way. It's great because you'll have something in common with someone else. Plus, you found a way to put yourself out there that worked for you. I'm sure there are women out there who would love to date you. You may just not know it because you never took the initiative. It takes a bit of a motivational push to get someone to get out of their comfort zone. That's all you need. Let using your hobbies and joining events that involve your interests open your door to the dating world, or even friendship world.

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    • 1mo

      i really like your advice its juat the kind of thing i could do to expand my comfort zone. thank you

    • 1mo

      You're welcome. Glad I helped.

    • 1mo

      Ya, apparently taking initiative is supposed to be a habit a guy develops in his formative years

  • Does it sound odd? Absolutely no.

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    • 1mo

      thanks i sure am learning a lot from everyone

  • I would not think so, you are just waiting for a good opportunity

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    • 1mo

      I believe so because I've never had any selfish intentions when it comes to dating someone. I would like it if I found one good person to stay with for the long run

  • Does not so matter if you are attractive or if you are not. Its not about how you look, its about how girls feel with you. If you are very shy then girls being shy with you. If you are very comfortable, then girls being comfortable with you.
    May you hadn't any girlfriend until now because you don't have confidence to flirt.
    Flirt is very important.

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    • 1mo

      yeah I dont flirt enough i would say but I do have the ability to strick up conversation and make friends easily

    • 1mo

      That's good if you want to be on friendzon for all your life.
      Come on!

    • 1mo

      you are right i just need to go for it!

  • I don't think it sounds odd. Maybe people see most of your negative side than your positive side. Try to make your positive side be the most attractive feature of yours. That could be your "first step".

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    • 1mo

      very good advice thanks

  • Just go out and meet people. It's the only way to start. Start being a lot more social, start meeting more girls, even just as friends, because if she's a girl she's gonna have girl friends too. Guys too, because they'll also know girls. Just start making more friends, going to more places, doing more things, meeting lots of girls, then go from there.

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    • 1mo

      you seem like a good person ill take you advice seriously and give it a shot thanks 👍

    • 1mo

      OK, good luck. And trust me, it's easier than it looks. Once you get in there, you'll wonder what you worried about :)

What Guys Said 13

  • to take the first step, is to start talking to girls and asking out the ones you like/find interesting.

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    • 1mo

      you are right I make friends rather quickly but can't seem to move on to the next phase

    • 1mo

      well when you find a girl you are attracted too, just take the next step with her. just do it. if you two are getting along, ask for her number. just do it.

  • No it's not unusual more and more men are getting a lot older without having any luck with ladies. Sometimes due to men and women focusing on careers but also because a lot of men simply do not know what to do. I don't and I suspect you don't. I wish I could find a transcript of a successful pass at a girl or a video explaining such. When I see tv programmes talking about meeting dating asking for phone numbers etc or articles talking about such matters , we never hear anything other than vague platitudes. We never hear the nitty gritty , how did you behave , what did you say , did what the other person wear sway you. It's either a secret that some people won't share or it's deemed to be something obvious when in fact it isn't. Given the large number of male posters saying exactly the same thing it would be good if a little more light was shed on such matters. Doubtless there will be a few females replying saying you should meet... you should approach... you should ask... NO NO NO. It is not as simple as that. Please enlighten myself and the many such as the gent I'm answering here , give us a transcript of a successful approach. Tell us who said what and what happened later. Rather than berating a section of the male population for not doing this correctly.

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    • 1mo

      thanks it seems that Im learning more about this situation the more honest people like yourself share their opinions.

    • 1mo

      I don't know where you are from sir but in the U. K. And USA there appears to be an unrealistic expectation from both boys and girls but particularly from girls that one fits the media driven stereotype of a modern metro man. You may well be best off looking for someone from abroad

  • It's really in your court. Just start going up to women and start talking. I know it's not that easy, so practice social skills on strangers and build up comfort and confidence. Than on to step 2: talking to women. All you gotta do is make them smile and understand social cues, body language, and boundaries. Don't expect to score with every girl, but each time is a learning experience. Start soon though because you missed out on a lot

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    • 1mo

      great advice my friend this is right on target. I should get out more and just talk to people who knows where the first time will be 👍

  • I think it's more common than you think

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  • Its not odd. Most guys would try stuff with hookers but I dont condone that. You should make effort to at least learn stuff through erotic media

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  • No, it's not odd. Society and the internet would have you believe it is, however.

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    • 1mo

      makes sense i see it all the time

  • I was like you once... should have kept to myself; I wouldn't waste my time. Most aren't worth the trouble.

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  • Do you want one?

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  • Yeah that's odd

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  • Go out and talk to as many girls as you can, observe them, watch how they treat each other.

    Talk to the girls that already have bfs, listen to how they talk about their bfs, watch how they treat them.

    Talk to married women, listen to what they say about their husbands, watch how they treat them.

    Pretty soon you will come to the same conclusion as more experienced guys, it's just not worth it LOL. The juice is not worth the squeeze!

    I challenge any man out there today to find more than 3 loyal, non promiscuous, respectable, empathic, content and intelligent women (per country).

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    • 1mo

      Well said that man. To the lady who said just meet and flirt you'd think it's like second nature to everyone. And the bit about suitable dating material I notice all women are suitable dating material and a large number of men aren't. Why can't women just be honest and say they are pickier than they used to be especially with regard to physical appearance. They have every right to be if they want to be but please spare us the false platitudes.

  • Well I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend

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    • 1mo

      i keep my hopes up dont give up

    • 1mo

      I don't think it's likely with how I look

  • No it's not odd. Everyone has a different path in life which may not include meeting the same number of women as others naturally through uni, work etc. Then single women and on top of that women you actually LIKE.

    Some moron brash guys seem to think that banging loads of chicks makes them experienced and better, but it DOES NOT.

    The whole point is attraction and sex are subjective. What one guy thinks are 20 women he slept with are fit, another guy wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

    So take your time, enjoy the first time, and sleep with women you actually do really like and are single!

    Can u help me out on a question if you can? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2141337-who-would-a-sweet-fun-girl-flirt-be-with-have-dirty-sex-with-based

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    • 1mo

      good point

    • 1mo

      I know right? Always enjoy your own life by what you enjoy

      Can u help me out on mine?

  • I'm 21 i've never had a girlfriend. I don't think i'll be able to find a girlfriend till i die

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    • 1mo

      Do something for it! It isn't so difficult..

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    • 1mo

      Thanks a lot! :) (It's worse in reality hihi)

    • 1mo

      so the book spoke of whats it about

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