Do you freak out/get nervous before 1st dates?

I alwayssss get super nervous before the first date lol I'm always worried we won't have anything to talk about and it will be awkward. I especially hate the whole paying situation considering it's so inconsistent these days

  • Yes even though I've been on a lot of them
    20% (41)11% (26)15% (67)Vote
  • Yes, I haven't been on many
    24% (48)27% (62)25% (110)Vote
  • No
    9% (18)22% (50)16% (68)Vote
  • Sometimes, it depends on the person
    20% (41)17% (39)18% (80)Vote
  • I've never been on a date
    27% (54)23% (54)26% (108)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As far as who pays, whoever asked who out pays. I had a girl ask me out once. She wasn't a friend, ore of an associate I occasionally saw around work. I agreed to meet her for lunch (perfect first date BTW). I got a cheap sandwich and she got some crazy seafood platter that was about about $38. When the bill came she was like "Thanks so much for lunch, it was amazing!" I gave her $12 to cover my sandwich and tip. She got pissed and called me a cheapskate. She went on to state it was my job as the man to pay. I told her if I asked her out, I would pay. We didn't see each other again.

    I say the lunch date is perfect for a few reasons. First, lunch dates are short. There's a time limit so to speak because parties either have to go back to work or school. The also helps with what you wear on the date. In addition to the time limit, lunch menus are generally cheaper than dinner menus, so you save a few bucks.

    Lunch dates also negate the need to plan events for an entire night to entertain the other person. There are minimal distractions so you can actually talk to the other person. If it goes well, you set up another date. If not, you separate ways drama free.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is always a thing that makes you very uncomfortable. I mean I love going on dates but the thoughts before them are often almost the same, no matter on how you met... "do i look good enough but not too either?", "what if we have nothing to say? What if I say something stupid?", "is he a good guy? How do I know?", "do I like him enough to give him another date, but I haven't even went on the first one yet...", "what if I fall for him and he doesn't even ask me out anymore?", "what if he is mean or crazy? Should we meet somewhere more in public?"

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    • 1mo

      Thats the one issue I have... maybe you can help relieve some bad ideas of mine...

      You said "do I like him enough, to give him another chance". When do dates go right, in the first place?

    • 1mo

      @Gustafsone12584 I think it is about being stressed over if the date was bad and you still wonder if you should still give the person a chance. First dates are always stressful, so the person might be different on the other ones

    • 16d

      Thanks for MHO :)

What Guys Said 83

  • At my age, I have probably had 100 first dates. If I was still freaking out at my age, I'd be more likely to wet my pants, so I can't let that happen! Actually, experience solves this problem; just keep doing it and the anxiety will gradually recede and you'll develop more confidence.

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  • Freak out? No, unless something goes wrong and I can't find the place or something unexpected makes me late. Get nervous? If by that you mean negative anxiety, no. I have a little positive anxiety. I call that anticipation, looking forward to meeting this new person on a more engaging and prolonged meeting. My first dates are usually where we talk about things like sex if we hit it off. We'll have covered all the preliminaries online or on the phone. Now is the time that I find out if there's chemistry and if there is, we know one reason we're here: to see if this might be a suitable sex partner.

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  • Okay, to get your started, I have a little list of suggestions for you:
    - First, there isn't any reason to get nervous, it is your first date and it could turn out fine.
    - If you find that your night is starting to get awkward, try to make it normal by starting another conversation to make it usual.
    - A good conversation starter is to talk about the movie you guys are going to see. While at dinner, you can compliment on the food or talk bout food related topics. When he makes compliments about you, respond by saying good things about him.
    - Finally, just stick to being yourself. If you attempt to being someone that you're not, you'll just have your date thinking that you aren't the right person for him. Follow these tips and your date will go fine. I also have been into situations which I have felt very nervous.

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  • when i first started really dating as an adult, like with the intent of looking for the person i wanted to spend my life with, i'd definitely get butterflies before a date. never freaked out but definitely have nerves and sometimes knots in my stomach.

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  • I think everyone gets a little nervous - that's normal. I wouldn't say that I "freak out" or anything - it's just not that big of a deal - but a bit nervous? Sure. I've been on bad dates where it was obvious we had nothing in common or that she was crazy (some people can seem perfectly normal until you get them talking, and then they come out with CRAZY stories that are just routine for them).

    As for the paying thing, I solve that by planning dates (the ones in the very beginning) that cost almost nothing. That's better for everyone - if it doesn't work out, no one is out a bunch of money, the guy doesn't have to try to impress the girl with his money, and the girl doesn't feel pressured because the guy is spending money on her, etc.

    I don't start spending money on a girl until I know we have at least SOME compatibility and mutual attraction - and I find that girls appreciate it far more if you wait a bit anyway. They are justifiably suspicious about guys spending money on them on the first couple of dates ("What is he expecting?"), so it's best to avoid that entirely.

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  • First dates can either go good or bad. I try not to worry to much. The person sees how you are and you see how they are. The paying part can get complicated. But I always prefer to pay for everything and not let the girl pay.

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  • Why is it a straight yes or no? I feel some nerves on dates, but not enough to stop me from being myself and having a good time. I figure that if someone likes me enough to go out with me, there's no reason to feel insecure etc (not that there ever really is)

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  • Nope, when you've asked out and been turned down as many times I have, an actual date is a pleasant surprise 😂. Actually used to put me in a great mood. Just talk about things that interest you if you run out of mutual topics.

    Don't overthink the paying, just offer and go with what he says. Best of luck!

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  • Okay I think every human on earth has the same emotions about first dates and anyone saying otherwise is fooling themselves.

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  • I'm as calm as a cucumber before a date, but as soon as I see her for the first time on the date and she's looking as beautiful as ever, I forget that words exist and stumble around for a good while.

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    • 1mo

      Sh! t. Now I have a date on Saturday and I am starting to get nervous after reading all this stuff about being nervous. Darn.

  • I use to get nervous back in high school and I still get nervous asking out a girl because she might reject me. But if she said yes to a date, now days I wouldn't get nervous because I've been through plenty of disappointments at this stage in my life and nothing that is likely to happen on a date is going to bother me at this point in my life.

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  • A long time ago, when I was interested in women, I would become terribly nervous.
    I performed well as a journalist and television presenter, but put me in a social situation (without the professional role to play) and I was in trouble.
    One piece of advice that I would offer to younger men would be to rub one out just before you leave for the date. You will be calmer, you will think with greater clarity and the female will be less able to use her sexuality to manipulate you.

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    • 1mo

      Down votes by females. Fascinating. Perhaps they dislike the idea that men should shoot their load before the date, so that they are less susceptible to manipulation by the female.

  • I never do

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  • Only been on one official first date.

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  • I don't get nervous before a first date. And I don't worry about whose paying. I always pay. If she doesn't want that, then she's not the girl for me anyway.

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  • I feel the exact same way leading up to it. I get nervous that I will look stupid, not have anything interesting to say, and not hitting it off very well. But once the time of the date actually arrives - I forget all about my worries and usually end up being okay.

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  • Not waiting until marriage makes the whole thing much less stressful. That way there are less secrets to hide and worry about.

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  • can't say I do. I go on dates with people I kind of know a bit so im never nervous. I dont do online dating so I've never had a blind date.

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  • Don't do anything where you have to put a check down then on the first date. I think dates like that can ruin the experience. But yeah. it's nerve wracking.

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  • For sure! I've been out with some girls though these were no real "dates" :o
    I'm quite an uncertain type at such moments, due to lack of experience haha!

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  • Not really. I have like 4 sure fire topic starters that are bound to lead to conversation. Also, I don't give a shit if I sound stupid or not cause me saying something so stupid is bound to happen to the point of hilarity that I just roll with it 😂

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    • 1mo

      What are they? I have one tonight and I'm nervous lol

    • 1mo

      Sports
      Traveling
      Stupid shit that happened to me
      A random interest
      Random shit I wanna do

      You literally can't fuck up and each could last a solid 3 hours. Also, have at least 2 good and/or funny stories. I always use the time I spent a solid 2 weeks trying to find a Mac charger in Italy. And just ask questions about whatever he says. Makes the conversations a shit ton easier

  • When am in a date, i don't see it as a date, i see it as a casual meet. Am a gamer and i meet many other gamers that i never met or know and i got used to it. Never got the nervous part, but i always found it exited to meet new people or to get closer with.
    That worked very good when it came to dating, but i never spoke about gaming in dates.

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  • Yes, I think if you don't have that anticipation... then you aren't really into to that person... so why bother.

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  • Well if you didn't love dogs so much, you would have something to say! Just kidding lol. Really though, I've been more excited like butterflies in my stomach before first dates.

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  • Yes, I do. I don't freak out, but I do get nervous.

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  • Not really, I think because I just don't really feel like it's very important what the outcome is. So it doesn't matter enough to me that I would be nervous about it.

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  • to me a date is like a job interview

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    • 1mo

      Haha yeah that's a good way to think of it

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    • 1mo

      😂😂

    • 1mo


      Ikr!
      Actual transcrip from my last date:

      Anon! Great to see you again! I was very impressed by your resume last time we spoke. Your reference "our mutual friend Jill from the Halloween party" checked out, she told me in confidence that she'd "totally do you" so BONUS POINTS! Haha!

      Oh well Jill's a sweetheart haha and yes it was a pleasure to meet you too! I'm glad to have been selected for the interview process. You do offer several benefits namely "You totally rejected Stan last month" and "your rack".

      Well let's not get ahead of ourselfs you haven't got the job yet haha and you were applying for the "Boyfriend" position correct?

      Oh you, you're a tricky one. But no I'm actually inquiring about the "Pussy Destroyer" position. I prefer the flexible hours and don't really mind having an at will employer.

  • Not usually. I'm actually rather comfortable. Granted, it is the first time I'm meeting someone I have never met. But I prefer to feel comfortable on the date than a nervous wreck. Otherwise, it can get weird or awkward.

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    • 1mo

      That doesn't mean that I'm not SLIGHTLY nervous, because I guess I sometimes am. But usually I try to feel comfortable for the most part.

  • I don't get nervous because I've at least seen the person's pictures and talked to them on the phone first to establish I like talking to them.

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  • I think everyone gets a little nervous. I get that little tingle in the stomach even at my age. But as you get older and more experienced, you realize it either will work out or it won't. That is the whole purpose of dating, to find out if you mesh. It isn't the end of the world if you don't. If you can take a step back and not take it personally, it takes a lot of the stress off. Either she will like me the way I am , or she is not someone I want to be with. Just roll with the homies...

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What Girls Said 36

  • I haven't been on an exceedingly large amount of dates, but I have gone on a decent amount. I'm usually extremely nervous before the first date and can't stop primping. But usually like 3 minutes into the date I'm comfortable because I truly enjoy talking to people, even if I figure out Im not into them romantically. I think it's just the idea of first impressions that scare people.

    Funny story. On my first date with my current boyfriend, I wasn't actually planning on seeing him that day. I was dressed in a tshirt and old jeans without wearing makeup at an education outreach event all day and stopped by the town he lived in (we lived an hour apart and I was in a town further than him, his town was on the way home to mine) for dinner. He happened to text me and when he found out I was near, he wanted to see me. He ended up finding me very lost in a parking lot trying to find Starbucks.

    Of all the dates I went on, the unexpected one where I didn't have time to primp whatsoever was the best one.

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  • No but I used to at your age. I've been in a relationship for a while now but prior to I see first dates a ms casual happy hour. First dates are easy. You have nothing invested. It's the 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th that are more nerve racking. You like each other and want to do things right. You're touching each other in new places for the first time.

    I can remember when I first started dating my current SO I'd get so nervous before bed because I have a hard time sleeping in general. So nervous I'd get gas. So if sneak off to the toilet and cover my bum with tiolet paper so he wouldn't hear. 6 weeks later we'd both fart in our sleep if necessary.

    Don't make the beginning harder than it has to be.

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  • I used to, nowadays it's more like:

    "Welp, let's see if I scare this one off."

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  • Hahaa I'm so shy with guys that I never made it to a first date yet.
    As soon as they start flirting with me or just smile to me I turn red and start looking at the floor. When I know one of them has a crush on me I start avoiding them not to embarrass myself.
    If I ever accept to have a real first date I think I won't sleep the whole night before lol. I wish I was as flirty irl as I am on here :p

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  • Sometimes yeah, usually I have low expectations when going on dates. Right after I broke up w/my ex, I happened to meet 2 guys that were visiting the US. They asked me out for drinks, I agreed. As I was travelling to meet them my stomach was doing flip flops because I was very heartbroken over my ex. I just wanted to have fun and meet some new people, nothing came of them (they were only looking for sex), but yeah that's the most nervous I have been when going on a date.

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  • I get the butterflies :) I'll be giddy as I take a shower and do my hair :) it's scary, ya know, the possibilities of how it will go are endless. I think with paying, bring money for the event and go from there, if he offers, cool, if not, you have your own money.

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  • Of coarse is get nervous! I think everyone does! But a big tip for the first date is to try not to think about it too much! It's like if you're going to the movies with your best friend, you don't worry about what to talk about, you just go for it! That's kinda how it is with your first date honestly! If you just be yourself it'll always be fine!

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  • Yes, WHY NOT?

    Its always a big deal especially if you like the person. You want to say the right things and make them laugh. Its a new experience and while there is something exciting about it, it freaks the hell out of me too.

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  • it only takes me at least 3 hours to get ready for every date. maybe 4 outfit checks. then I just sit and smile until I get drunk enough to relax

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  • I've never went out one on one with a guy before. I imagine it's something very exciting obviously, lol and no I don't picture myself getting nervous because it's my first date. We're going to a restaurant, to the movies, or to a park, it automatically sets me in a chill mood. The date is meant to make us enjoy our time and keep us away from everyday stress. It's not like I'm about to give a speech live on the White House, therefore it should be relaxing and not nerve raking.

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  • Its always scary at first. But that's why its the first. Getting through it is the hard part. Keeping them is the key. Just be yourself. And if they don't keep up or respond then they aren't the right person for you. Keep searching :)

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  • OH GOD the paying situation is terrible! To me it's the worst part about having dates, way more then being a nervous wreck the hour before.
    I usually take of my wallet and open it slowly and usually the guy says: dont worry, I'll pay. Worst 10 seconds ever.
    My question is: should you thank him right away or wait?
    I usually thank him right away and when aggain when we are saying goodbye.

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  • Yeah.
    Only been on 2 first dates in my life, so maybe thats just from inexperience. But always was nervous.

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  • Of course! its normal.

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  • No, I don't get nervous. I probably make things easy for the guy. Easy for me to carry on a conversation unless he is not interested.
    I am pleasant, easy going.
    Pay, guys have always paid.
    One splitted and wanted a kiss. I was disgusted by it.

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  • I've never been on a proper date haha so yeah I'd most likely be nervous as hell

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  • I only go on dates with my boyfriend and I know him very well so there's nothing to be nervous about. Although I would be really nervous if I didn't know the man I was going to date. If we had known each other before I wouldn't be nervous.

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  • I get nervous because I don't know what they'll think of me or even if they'll think I'm attractive. This is in the context of online dating.

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  • I'm chill on first dates it's the second that's nerve wracking because its like this may go somewhere. First dates you talk about everything!

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  • A moment of silence for those 5 people (including me) who haven't been on a date

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  • I usually have high expectation so it does make me feel a little nervous if things didn't work out.

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  • I think the nervousness comes with the fear of doing something wrong in front of a person you really like. It's natural.

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  • The guy I like and I are friends so it's easy to talk but when we're one on one we mostly just smile and act awk at first but then we're fine and back to normal.

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  • Only if I'm into him. Lately, I've only been going out with random guys I don't give a damn about... *Sigh*...

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  • I haven t been on many dates
    but when I do I am an awkward, nervous goof
    I hate it lol

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    • 1mo

      Me tooooo I get all jittery and stuff. It's annoying haha

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    • 1mo

      awee that s great girl haha ^^
      gd lck with the rl then ;)

    • 1mo

      Haha thanks ☺️

  • How so?

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  • No I don't, I get excited

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  • I shit my pants when im on the way to the meeting place. My stomach twist and turn too hahah

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  • Yes I do

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  • I freaked out on a blind date. I just walked away because it's just awkward.

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