So my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday. I'll get to that in a bit but a little context (Be warned, wall of text)
So I've had the last 3 girls I've dated, in a moments notice, dump me out of the blue. My previous Ex broke up with me because "things weren't moving fast enough". I found this quite confusing because we were already having sex often, we both had fun hanging out with each other, and 2 days before we split she was at my place having sex. The only thing that wasn't happening was we hadn't had the boyfriend girlfriend official talk. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it, I was having so much fun with her that I forgot about it. I kinda assumed if a title was so important to her, she would have brought it up with me. Four months we dated
Now with my current breakup, I wanted to move things faster naturally. So things went great, we had a long make out session on our second date. We both 'seemed' to enjoy each others company (That will be explained later), as we both laughed a lot. We had a few interests that I could tell we both weren't interested in, but that's normal I think. But I definitely thought we enjoyed being in each others company. She is quite a nature orientated girl, so yesterday she wanted to go to a botanical garden on a walk. Things went damn good I thought, we talked about our usual stuff, then sat on a bench in the middle of the park and made out for close to an hour, she was definitely comfortable with me getting physical with her, as I was touching her boobs etc. So I thought things were going pretty great with her.
Now all of a sudden today, I got a text about an hour ago. That basically said, I really like you, you're great (Standard break up stuff), but I don't want to lead you on any further, I'm just not feeling a connection.
And from how things went yesterday, I thought we were developing a real connection. We had dated for just over a month.
What am I doing wrong? Why does this keep happening?
What am I doing wrong?
What Girls Said 2
well I understand the 1st girl, 4 months invested and you've given her no sign that you want to be exclusive, I never ask a guy to be my s/o. I believe that's the man's job to initiate that convo. and the 2nd girl, I don't know.. maybe she's being honest. maybe after the date and kissing she just wasn't feeling it. like she said, she didn't want to lead you on further. just bc you had a great time doesn't mean she did. it could be anything, something you said, the way you kiss, something you did or DID NOT do. or it could be she picked someone else over you1
I am going to ask you, are you asking them questions? Are you showing that you really want to get to know them? Are you being empathetic or are you being judgemental? Are you asking questions or letting them know that you want to understand them? Or just airing your own opinion?0
What Guys Said 2
In both cases they lost interest. "Not moving fast enough" is just an excuse, if she really liked you she would have tried to make it work. The confusing thing is girls will sometimes get caught up in the moment and they'll put in effort when they're with you to get intimately involved with you and it makes you think that everything's great, but it's when you're not with them.. That's when the damage is done. She'll be contemplating things and questioning things and if there is something lacking that she had just brushed over when she was with you, she'll be thinking about it and it may be enough to bring her to want to end it.
It happens with a lot of guys and you could think about it all day. Were you not exciting enough for her? Were you becoming too predictable? Were you too available? Were you not living up to her expectations?
I really wouldn't worry about it man, I've been through it before and the main thing it taught me is to not expect anything. It's sad, but if I have a great day with a girl, she's really into me, I can't expect that we'll still be together the following day. I just take each day as it comes and as long as I'm living up to the person that I want to be, that's all that matters, if she loses interest, great.. Because she obviously not the right one.0
Damn, this happened an hour ago and you make a post on GAG, I respect that.
For the first gal, I agree that she should've talked to you about the "things weren't moving fast enough". After all, communication is key on relationships. But I think what she meant about not moving fast enough was about introducing her to your friends and family, talk about the future, babies, settling down, moving in/out together, and such?
Next gal, I also don't fully understand when someone says they don't feel the connection. I think it has something to do with not fitting your partner's needs and compatibility. Basic beliefs and values, reciprocity, complementing one another intellectually, interests, temperaments, honesty, intimacy, etc.0
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