You fall hard in love with someone. They have a kid. You don't. Do you become a father/mother?

Its strange to me. you're not only committing to a person you're committing to parenthood. How could you just immediately switch to being a father/mother when you didn't get to be there from the start. Its like catching a movie midway through. Being responsible for a life. Thats heavy. Not only that but sacrificing your freedom for this person and their child. And even though you love this person there would be other people to love. Other people without kids from a different wo/man. So how much is love worth?

Could you do it?

  • Yes.
    71% (12)57% (8)65% (20)Vote
  • No
    29% (5)43% (6)35% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a guy who has done it and it's incredibly difficult. Especially when there's an ex (the father) still in the picture and they hate each other. You basically have spent your whole dating life being number one and making your partner fee like number one and now you are not, she still is but not me any more. You come in second place maybe third place with 2 kids and maybe fourth place when there's two kids and an ex husband. But then in thinking abut breaking up you're not just leaving one person you're breaking the little hearts of others who did nothing wrong to warrant being "dumped". its definitely easier to meet a singe person, fall in love and create a family together and even that's NOT easy.

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What Girls Said 8

  • "How could you just immediately switch to being a father/mother..."
    "Being responsible for a life. Thats heavy..."
    "Not only that but sacrificing your freedom for... this child"

    ^^ These are the experiences of EVERY new parent. Absolutely regardless of whether it's parentage by birth, by adoption, or by step-parenthood.

    This "difference" is a non-difference.

    If it FEELS so "different" to you, then -- really, seriously -- DO NOT become a step-parent.
    That secret feeling of resentment... isn't going to stay secret for long, dude.

    Either you're in or you're out.

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  • Right now, I couldn't. I'm too immature to mother my own child right now, nevermind someone else's. I don't have a job, I don't live alone, I'm still in education, I'm just not ready to be a parent yet. I would probably be cool with gettinginto a relationship with someone who has a kid if I was older and more stable but right now, I'd avoid a relationship like that.

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  • If I truly loved him... I could do it. But ONLY if he was really worth it... I'm not gonna get that child's hopes up that I will be around for a long time unless I will be... I know that feeling of abandoned hope too much...

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  • It's not as hard as it sounds because the other person usually does most of the work since they are use to doing it. It is also really easy if the kid is young. When you love the parent you end up loving the child

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  • Lol plenty of stories like this happen though

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  • How could you just meet someone and fall in love so fast if they we're a stranger for years until age 25. You don't know that person. You don't know them at all yet you're in love with this person 2 months into dating? Same with kids you don't have to know them forever to fall in love with them. Not to mention kids don't break by our heart, your trust or stab you in the back they're much easier to love! Maybe take into consideration the man loves these children not as if they were his own but just loves them in general maybe he liked the kids before the mother. Lol never know. Kids are fun. People are boring some people want more of a purpose and a less boring life. Some people view parenting as a gift and not baggage.

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    • 1mo

      Why not people view on love disguste these days u dont have to fuck someone for months so u can realize u have feeling for them that is disgusting real love happenes fast withoit any control even before physical contact love replaced with sex people obsessed over the idea of having sex than having love.. That's pathetic

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      I on the other band am not to found of pets I'd proe take someone with a child over a dog. Seriously can't stand the wet dog smell, the barking, the hair, everything just annoys the living shit out of me. Vs a child I can actually handle a child. That's just me personally. I'm not fond of pets but love animals just don't want them in my home its a little example. 😂 I will not love anyone's dog.

    • 1mo

      U prefer the smell of baby feces? =-O dogs are easier to love than children. CHildren throw hissie fits and bite you and throw shit and cry and piss themselves. Thats normal for a child but abnormal for a dog. Dogs are quite frankly superior to children.

      Do u have kids? I think u might be romanticizing them without taking into account everything.

  • I think now I'm always just falling in love with single fathers. Don't know whats so attractive about them. Would definitely be the kids mother.

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    • 1mo

      There is something very attractive about a tender, sensitive, strong man... I get that.

      It's just that sense of commitment has been manifested in a little person, and now you can see what the relationship really means before it starts...

  • Yes... I mean you don't fall in love immediately and if you feel like their is "other people to love" without the baggage and that these people are some how stripping you of your "freedom" then you def. don't belong in that relationship...

    People make families all the time... blood isn't everything by any means. If you can't love that child as your own then walk... she is a mom... you can't really love her without loving hers... isn't fair to anyone involved.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not only no, but "FUCK NO!"

    Been there, done that. Yes, I've made damn near every stupidfuck mistake I could.

    It's not worth it. You will never be in even the Top 5 of a single mother's list of priorities. If you're lucky, you'll break into the Top Ten every now and again.

    And the women that said yes are lying. Plain and simple. Women don't want a guy who actually has custody of a kid by another woman, because that kid is competition for resources that she wants for HER offspring.

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  • It is a heavy idea. It takes a man who is comfortable enough not to make everything about himself. Somethings in life are bigger than who we are individually.

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  • I've had to pasa a few times ill pass again.

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  • that's the best pard about me... i ain't got nothing to sacrifice.

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