Don't know if boyfriend is worth it anymore?

hi I've been dating for 5 months and I really like my boyfriend and maybe falling in love with him.
In his own words, my boyfriend has not thought of a future with me as yet and wants to just concentrate on his career for now. He also says that he takes me for granted and maybe doesn't make the effort he should. He wants to try and says that I should give him time.
but we've had this conversation before and nothing has really changed, he's moody and emotionally distant as a person and also selfish. It's always about him and I worry that he isn't capable of change because he is too caught up with his own problems.
also he finds me to be too emotional and wants me to expect nothing from the relationship which I find odd. Isn't it normal to expect some things from the person you're dating now?
he is trying but I'm not sure if he's even capable of changing so much and if I should expect him to either. He is the person he is and I maybe need to learn to accept that.
But for my own self, I need to know if it makes sense to give time to him to figure his things out or just give up on this one already?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You said you talked to him prior to this last time so you have already given him time and nothing changed. He may have problems of his own that he needs to deal with like you suggested but who knows how long that will take or if it will ever happen.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • At this point neither of you are wrong. You both just want different things and if you can't come to an agreement, then just walk. There's no need to give things time, if he is not looking to change his behavior. He can't change his circumstances. But if this is effecting the relationship that badly then he has to do something about it. This relationship requires a lot of patience, understanding, trust and communication. I say that this can work. BUT, that is if you two decide to work at it.

    However if he is fine with the relationship as is, then you have to figure out why you feel the way you feel. Found out what he why he even bothered to date you in the first place, or even want a relationship. Most people get into relationships for sex as part of the relationship, while others like me wait till marriage. Maybe he just a simple relationship, and is fine with that because you never bothered to complain to him about it. See the problem is you two may have talked about how he feels and thinks. But you never complained. You two never argued before. That I can tell. Your holding back, and he's holding back. THAT is your problem. Your both afraid of conflict, and your avoiding each other. Not good. Both of you have problems.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • It doesn't really sound like he has any real intentions of changing at this point. You obviously care about him, but this is red flag behavior. If you are hoping for something long term and serious you might want to move on, as hard as that may be. It seems like he is enjoying where you are and has no current plan to evolve the relationship. It's up to you to decide if you are ok with the relationship as is or if you need/want/deserve more.

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  • You deserve a serious minded person who cares and knows how to show he cares.

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  • just leave him he doesn't seem worth your time

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