What is an undateable man? What qualities or lack of does he possess?

I've heard the phrase undateable men being bandied about. Does this mean that there is a shrunken dating pool for women and that there are 5 or 6 women for every 4 dateable men, so a 1:1.2-1.25 gender imbalance in favour of men?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If a man does not pay attention to basics such as hygiene & basic grooming & is always negative , then he does not deserve dates. Same applies to his female counterpart... my ex turned into a lazy , self pitying slob , so I got rid !! It is generally many orders of magnitude harder for a man to get his proverbial " foot in the door " with a woman , than vice versa , successful dating is a learned skill.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Honestly? I'd only ever call a man "undateable" for the following three things (and this is just my personal taste, obviously it varies from person to person):

    1. they're blatantly racist or homophobic. As someone who has a lot of friends affected by both of these, I would find it very difficult to be patient with someone who is either/both of these.

    2. Personal hygiene.

    3. They're emotionally/physically abusive.

    Personally, I cannot stand people who are one/all of these things. I would NOT date somebody like this. That's what I call "undateable". Looks, clothing, job... they're shallow things and honestly don't bug me much at all.

    Hope that helps :)

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  • -mean personality/is a bitch
    -not attractive to me
    -leads an unhealthy lifestyle
    -doesn't have a college degree
    -not smart and intelligent
    -doesn't have good job prospects
    -not Catholic
    -doesn't want kids
    -is extremely liberal (I'm fine with moderately liberal but too liberal isn't good)
    I could go on and on but I won't because I already put down too much stuff.

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    • 1mo

      I'm just wondering, but why no college degree? Contrary to popular belief, it is very possible to obtain a good career without one, and you don't have to pay off a bunch of student loans. I dropped out of college after the first semester because it just wasn't for me (college is definitely one of those things that isn't for everyone) and have ended up with a great career that is in demand with little supply (many people go for different jobs instead), so the pay keeps going up. In my experience, many people who spent a lot of time in colleges tend to be very liberal too, and the professors are as well.

    • 1mo

      @aWes0MeNeSs I should've made it more clear. I want to be a doctor when I grow up and I would like my husband to be a doctor as well. When it comes to my career political ideologies mean nothing to me so it really doesn't matter.

    • 1mo

      Oh okay, that makes more sense!

  • - bad hygiene
    - degenerate (cultural & social)
    - physically unfit/unattractive
    - bad health (esp. if due to lifestyle)
    - history of lying, cheating, abuse, just generally being a douche
    - criminal record
    - lack of ambition
    - lack of intelligence (funnily this usually goes hand in hand with lack of ambition)
    - anti social
    - extreme stances on big topics
    - cockiness/arrogance
    - hatred/dislike toward animals
    etcetera.. it's always much easier to determine what you don't want as opposed to what you want in a partner for some reason.

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    • 1mo

      That pretty much shuts out all male humanity on you. I hope there are some "ands" in that list because if they all are separated by "ors", good luck !! :)

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    • 1mo

      @peachblossomluck I think there are so many acidic replies between men and women on this site that the human race would die out of this site were representative of the world at large.

    • 1mo

      I disagree. There is a refreshing sort of honesty. A lot of people aren't going to bring this up in polite conversation but that doesn't mean it's not valid to them. We all need to know what we can't tolerate. That's intelligent.

  • Different for everyone, I'd imagine. My red flags are violence and lack of empathy. Also, if my dogs don't like you, it's probably not going to work out.

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  • Dishonest
    Conceited/Never admits he's wrong
    Judgmental
    Jealous/Possessive
    Stupid

    I cannot do these...

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    • 1mo

      I had a boyfriend who was just like this and I thank God I got out of that relationship when I did. He was really sweet to begin with, but then all of these traits began to show.

    • 1mo

      Ugh! Yeah, they start out really sweet, but it wears off...

  • Well, in my personal opinion an "undatable guy" is pretty much just a sleez. If he's a player and only interested in sex, that's a complete no.

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  • A lot of things but :
    ugly (not attractive to me, generally people who have bad personnality are unattractive / fat
    no job and don't want to have one
    bad hygiene
    bad personnality (someone who mock other, someone i can't trust like player, think he's better because he have money / have good look)
    someone who have a bad aura

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    • 1mo

      How can someone not have a job, and not want to get one? Are they homeless?

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    • 1mo

      What do you think the french govt should do with those people and in general? I ask because it seems like the USA is heading in that direction. I can't prove it, but it seems like the USA is giving money to certain groups to immigrate and setup here (possibly to escape issues in the middle east)... often times given or favoring them for jobs. I've met people from Iraq and middle east that work at Walmart store. They store is filled with workers from Iraq. How is that possible without government imposition? A lot of the problems France experienced are rooted in bad USA policy disrupting the world and forcing immigration. What does a country do with those immigrants who don't assimilate into your culture? This is going to be the issue of our times I think...

    • 1mo

      @lightbulb27 I think we shouldn't accept them at all, we have enough poor and people who can even have a house and something to eat (lot of French are like that but the governement doesn't give a shit about them.) I don't see why I should give my money for some immigrant more than the poor French people we already have in the street. We should help them before.

      None immigrant (muslim) fit the French culture. None at all. They just doesn't want and would never want. The gouvernement don't care about it they just help them because if not they're considered racist.

  • Lack of self respect, lack of motivation, being cynical, being arrogant and greedy... undatable man

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  • Unless a woman is copedepent, we want a man who is going to take us places, show us a good time, act like we are the prettiest woman/most desireable in the room at all times. We want a guy who is going to be nice to be around and add value to our lives, not a guy who wants to stay home all the time, drop in unannounced, not take the social cue to leave or otherwise clingy.

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  • The type with no social skills, the type who takes himself too seriously, the type that isn't compatible with me, the type that a bad world view.

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    • 1mo

      That sounds like me despite having tons to offer any girl and in my opinion great boyfriend material , I have woeful dating and social skills.

    • 1mo

      Pay attention to what people say they dislike. That will help you to at least know what not to do. You need social and dating skills to even get your foot in the door.

  • 1. Bad hygiene
    2. Non-working penis
    3. Working penis that's too small
    4. Cocky personality
    5. Mean to wait staff, cashiers, animals, kids, etc..
    6. Doesn't tip
    7. Emo depressed suicidal
    8. Honks at elderly slow drivers
    9. Pro-abortion
    10. Anti-marijuana legalization

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    • 1mo

      non working penis got me lmao >.<

    • 1mo

      Wow I got some female down votes.. they must be feminists that enjoy killing unborn babies

  • Lazy, uneducated, and short tempered guys I can't deal with.

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  • Hygiene

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  • Walks around acting like the world is out to get him... when you do that your putting that out there and then the world really is out to get you. You create your own reality... if you feel your gross and undateable... then you are. If you think the problem is with everyone else... then it is and people usually pick up on that and try to stay away...

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  • Old men

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  • or i feel disgusted by him
    or i feel and see him as a friend or family member

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What Guys Said 5

  • Let's put it this way , for every man , there's a woman somewhere. And your the only one in your own way of succeeding towards your dream. You're your own fortune cookie. You have to create your own reality. And create your own atmosphere around you constantly and consistently.

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  • A man with turn offs.
    For me it's a woman who smokes, to have an example. I'm not dating that person, but of course that person is datable for someone else

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  • being 46
    being nerd on gag
    having a face that resembles yours
    not being jacked af like me

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  • ugly
    don't over complicate it
    there ugly then there undateable

    i think most guys are normal
    to girls they are there

    but don't really pay attention to them

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  • a lot of dating rejects tend to centre around poor social skills or lack of money. a guy who wasn't able to talk to the girl and who couldn't afford to take her anywhere would face an uphill battle to get dates.

    also a guy with a bad history might also have problems if other girls knew about his failed relationships or bad encounters with other girls , this more happens in smaller towns than cities

    online a guy with a horrible profile on social media or dating sites might also face problems getting replies , if he didn't have good pictures and such online , its just going to lead to failure

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