So I hit it off pretty well with this girl I met on an online dating site. We didn't say much other than small talk on that online dating site, but we got each others Facebook. We hadn't contacted each other for a couple weeks, until a few weeks ago, when I IMed her on Facebook and we then had a conversation.
It lasted pretty long as we seemed to hit it off pretty well. But as I was busy doing homework while chatting with her, I didn't get the chance to respond when she suddenly had to log off as she was busy with something else.
Last week, I tried IMing her again but she didn't respond.. either was ignoring me, too busy, whatever. But I tried again today, and she responded this time. We mostly just talked about a speech she has to prepare for tomorrow (perhaps she was just talking to me to get speech advice, and not because of interest in me?)
Anyways, I'm thinking of asking her out to meet face-to-face but I don't know if we know each other well enough for us to meet yet. Should I ask her out? Also, what should I say? I heard its a good idea to just say 'I wanna hang out with you to get to know you better', so that way its less pressure on her as its not really a 'date'
What should we do in person? We both like to play basketball for fun. Should I ask her to eat dinner? Should I also ask her to play basketball together? Or something else such as coffee or bowling? Or do something less 'date'-like, such as just going for a walk?
Most Helpful Guy
Pickup online or through Facebook is the BEST! You have all your friends on your wall giving you tonnes of social proof. It's awesome! As long as you seem busy and fun. If you seem boring then you're screwed.
1) Don't use IM on Facebook, simply message her. Some people just don't use IM, or they miss them. She won't miss a message in her inbox.
2) Make up an excuse to get together... something small, something quick, and something that sounds fun. Her fears are that you're dangerous, needy, or creepy. So you need to show her that you're safe, trust worthy, and fun.
3) Try this...
"Hey, perhaps you can help me out? I've been dying to buy this book by Nate Green at Chapters downtown, and I heard about this cute little cupcake place next to it. How about you meet me at the book store sometime after school this week so I can finally meet you? I'm dying to know if you're as cute as you sound, or if you're creepy and old... ha! Got 30 minutes free for a quick shopping trip followed by a cupcake this Wednesday night?"
This tells her you want to meet her, it tells her you're going there anyways to buy a book (so you read), it tells her she'll be enjoying a cupcake (or tea, or icecreme, or whatever you can find), and it lessens her suspicions by you teasing her that she might be creepy. It's meant to be flirty and fun, and it challenges her to also be fun.
Just don't waste time by calling it a "date" or something so formal.
You're not trying to marry her, or sleep with her. You're just trying to meet a nice girl in order to find out if she's cute and fun. If so then after your first date, line up another one.
Also, by asking if she has 30 minutes free it implies that you're not trying to commit her to an entire evening... this will also lessen her worry.
If she says no thanks, then you're chasing a girl who's not interested.
You can't logically convince a girl to find you attractive... she either will or she won't. So by asking her to join you for tea/cake/books you're really saying, "Are you interested or not?"
Good luck dude!
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