I really feel I am past my prime?

I've been mostly single my whole life. Everyone I know always thinks I would be an amazing partner, but I never find man guys that are interested in me. And I don't mean in the way that I have incredibly high standards, I think they are quite reasonable, but the only guys that ask me out are at least old enough to be my father and have grown children. I've tried online dating and I don't seem to get very far, and honestly I don't meet many single people my age (seems they are all in relationships or married). I'm just tired of being lonely and ready to settle down with no prospects.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You feel that you're past your prime because you are. Your prime was 16-25, maybe out to 28 if you're an exceptionally genetically gifted woman. Chances are you're not.

    You should have settled down back then, instead of giving your youth and beauty away to scumbags. I really get a laugh out of all these women that think they'll just party and fuck the years away until they're around 30, riding every thug cock they can get between their legs, and then when they are ready to "settle down" there will just magically be some great guy there, waiting for a helping of the leftovers from a score, if not hundreds, of other men. Nevermind the fact that she's had her ability to pair bond fucked out of her a decade or more ago...

    I'd like it if women entering the Dildos, Cats, and Boxed Wine stage, such as yourself, would tell the younger girls not to make the same mistakes you've made, not to slut it up in their teens and twenties and expect to 'have it all' in their thirties. Maybe then the problems we're facing as a society would start to reverse. But I know better. I know how women are, and they'll never keep the younger ones from making the same mistakes. They hate the younger ones simply because women hate other women.

    Oh well, it's really not my problem. I won't be wifing any of them up, not even a young, pretty, sweet, non-slutty, appropriately-weighted one. I don't have, nor will I ever have, any sons that will have to deal with any of this. So whatever, let's just continue on the path we've been on for the last few decades. It's been working out so well...

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    • 1mo

      I love that you guys think I have been partying. Most of the time I was concentrating on my career and working 80-90 weeks for the majority of my 20's while going to school part time.
      Had I settled down with the either of the guys I dated in that time I would either be divorced from the one that was cheating on me the whole time, or deado from the one that beat me. But hey you know my life there buddy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I doubt that you're the only single person at your age. I bet there are many single people at your age who happen to have similar interests as you. I think you should keep searching.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Because you are past your prime. Sorry. I'm right behind you, if it makes you feel better. Everything's downhill after 30. The prime is like 20-25. Technically, the female prime for men is 22. Doesn't mean you can't find someone, though. You have to actively look, though.

    If no guys are hitting on you, then hit on guys. This is the time when you should get aggressive. You've probably just waited for it to happen for 10 years, so if you want to nab a quality guy before your expiration date, then you're going to have to be a bit more aggressive.

    And, if your body isn't in shape, that would be a good thing to get on top of. It will dramatically increase your chances with guys.

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  • I feel your pain, and sorry to hear that. you are not past your prime.

    Do what you can to be active, be your best physically and emotionally. Then you have to learn how to flirt and date. I know quite a few attractive and amazing women who are single because they don't know how to date... it is a skill, you need to learn it to attract a mate.

    Then as you are active, you need to look for opportunities. the guys are out there, and some are suffering like you are.

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  • first off quit thinking guys have to do everything. it doesn't work like that. your single because you girls refuse to do what your meant to which is approaching and choosing the one you want. (the right one) your "high standards" should already tell you that's what you girls should do.

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  • I mean, if we're characterizing your prime as your most youthful and fertile, then I guess you're past your prime. He'll, I guess I am too. LOL

    Luckily, I don't really see 'prime' that way. I've never been in a better place to be a BF/potential husband/potential father. Then again, my biological clock doesn't tick quite as loudly as yours -- I get to that.

    How old are you? Do you think you come across as older than your actual age? How old are the guys who ask you out?

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    • 1mo

      I'm 35, people think I'm like 23 and the guys are old enough for grandkids?

    • 1mo

      Huh, that *is* strange. Do you live in an area with a super-low population or something?

    • 1mo

      No, I should mention I also took the married men that are interested (I attract them like a mother to a flame for some reason) out of the equation since they are a no go. Seems that perhaps most of the guys around here my age are either married, attached, or looking for someone in a bar (not my thing at all).

  • Another one who's hit the wall on the wrong side of 30 and is now casted out of the dating game. Listen up ladies and gents; that's what happens to post wall sluts who abuse their power in their prime youth by attention whoring, riding the cock carousel with bad boys and tall jacked assholes while rejecting good caring loyal nice guys for ego stroke and self assurance.

    I speak on behalf of mgtow I now salute you a good riddance prune.

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    • 1mo

      Um I've dated like 5 guys in 20 years? And I didn't even sleep with all of them?

  • Well, let's start with the basics. What *are* your standards? I'm not looking, mind you, I'm just trying to establish a base line for convo.

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    • 1mo

      Attractive enough that I don't mind having that as the face I look at every day potentially, has most his teeth, can hold an intelligent conversation, isn't so large he would smother me in my sleep, has a job, a car, and a place to live, and wants to have kids. Also preferably within 5years younger, 8 or so years older than me. These dudes that are interested that already have grandkids, not my style.

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    • 1mo

      I know, but at least he's a bandaid you know. There is only a 2% chance I would get that desperate, but it's still there. But seriously it seems like everyone I know is either getting married, having kids, or two of my very few single friends just started dating each other.

    • 1mo

      *nods* Fair enough. So let's say you settle. You get with him, and have kids. Where is that going to go? You know where this road ends. You've got 2 options and 2 alone. Settle for what you have and what you know, or double down and get out there and market yourself and find someone worthy of you. That's up to you on what you want to do. But I know what I'd do.

  • Get out more. Volunteer, do some activities in your city or nearby area. There's always something to do and you can always meet people, you just have to really go out there like crazy lol.

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  • Describe your "quite reasonable" standards, and maybe disclose a bit about your sexual History, this being perfectly anonymous and all. Let's have it out.

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    • 1mo

      Attractive enough that I don't mind having that as the face I look at every day potentially, has most his teeth, can hold an intelligent conversation, isn't so large he would smother me in my sleep, has a job, a car, and a place to live, and wants to have kids. Also preferably within 5years younger, 8 or so years older than me. These dudes that are interested that already have grandkids, not my style.
      As far as sexual history not sure what that has to do with anything. I've had quite a bit with the men I have dated over the years.

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    • 1mo

      Last time I checked: funny as hell, cook like a beast, loyal to anyone close to me, you're gonna get laid at least once a day, I got my own money so I don't need the guys, I got my shit together, and I ain't gonna be constantly up in my man's business, because I have a life too.

    • 1mo

      Hey, that's pretty good. Sounds real good, in fact. So my advice to you would be look at where you're going to attract these men. Online dating? Bweh! You should find different places to look for men, more selective. Where do the men you want go? Go there. It could be lectures, political rallies, conventions, charity balls, maybe even take up target shooting, find a man at the gun range. Broaden your horizons and be a little bit assertive, don't be afraid to make the first move, just be shrewd about it. I don't know exactly what man you'd want to attract, so I could suggest more places if you broke it down for me.

  • I don't think you're past your prime. But at thirties many of your prospects can be divorced guys with children. If you rule them out your chances shorten a bit.

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    • 1mo

      I am aware of that and actually do not mind a man with children. In fact I quite like the idea of a blended family. The more the merrier and all.

  • Try speed dating online dating can be difficult if your not good with lighting writing psychology or photos in general.
    Plus guys that send most messages are largely spammers after sex.

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    • 1mo

      Sigh, there is no speed dating in my city. It's not a small city, but too many people going to bars and using tinder to find someone I think is why we don't have it. I even thought the fact that I went to a church with 4000 members there would be more than one single guy (who is in love with someone else).

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    • 1mo

      Oh no I've looked. Heck I've even looked into hiring a professional matchmaker, but I can't find one of those either. I really think POF and Tinder took away the need for speed dating. Truthfully on the odd chance I found one, I feel it would be at a super sketchy bar.

    • 1mo

      Ok you have looked into it more than i have then. Personally I think id prefer speed dating would suit me better than online dating its a lot easyer to know if you like someone if you see them face to face.

  • Nah. You're not past your prime, but you have to make more effort to keep your game sharp. Dress nice, go to the gym, eat healthy. Each day you can become a better you if you try!

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  • wait until you get my age. i want kids and family. women young enough to want kids say im too old.

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  • Yeah I'd say you're right.

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  • Go in a place where you can interact with people, for example take some extra courses at your local university, it is bound to meet someone that you would like.

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    • 1mo

      I don't really feel like going back to school in my 30's. Other than its pretty expensive, I never met someone in my 4 years I went to school.

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    • 1mo

      Yes, for one class, and quite honestly as someone that was unemployed for a while, that's a lot to shell out. And that's for a crafting class where I more than likely would not meet guys. It's not a wall I have put up. I TRY to interact with people even just out running errands, but I keep finding no one. I even ask literally everyone I know to keep me in mind if they know someone single. It's not for lack of trying, I just can't seem to find anyone that is under 50 to be interested in me (for more than a one night stand).

    • 1mo

      OK ok, let me clear something with you. You think there is a wall, but stop, be yourself, go out with your friends and enjoy life and stop thinking that your prime is over, that you are alone, that you are getting old and so on.
      You are not old, nor weird, not antisocial or anything, understand these things. And don't try to hard! Relax, you will find people the least you expect it.
      I'm younger than you, I believe you live on the other side of the world from me, I don't know your name or how you look like, yet I am eager to help with as little as I can. We meet here, thus you will meet someone there.

  • Betting your standards aren't that "reasonable"

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    • 1mo

      If you read several comments I say what I feel my reasonable standards are.

  • If you are 35, you are not past your prime, now in days your in your 20s.

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    • 1mo

      What?

    • 1mo

      Your age is between 30--35 with people now, 20s are in there teens, 30s are in there 20s, well you get it. Your still young and pretty, so go have fun.

  • If it happens, it happens. But it may never happen. You just have to consider the possibility that it may never happen, but should that eventually be the case then what are going to do and what can you do to not dwell on it should it never happen?

    As in, how can you be happy with yourself and feel fulfilled so you don't absolutely need someone else to make you feel whole and/or happy in your life? What would you do to feel happy without needing a partner?

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    • 1mo

      I don't think wanting to not be lonely is the same as being unfulfilled.

    • 1mo

      Even sometimes when people have a partner they can still feel alone, same when they are surrounded by people they feel alone. Have you tried something like Meetup. com and see if you can find a club or group of people with common interest or passions? That helps significantly, when people have common interests, they can relate better and easier, but if they have absolutely nothing in common that would be problematic as it can be difficult to relate to each other, other than possibly the physical attraction each feels for one another.

    • 1mo

      I've looked into them, but the few that interest me are either not compatible with my work schedule or they seem to all have members way older than me.

  • You either need to boost your own attractiveness to get the sort of men you're interested in or drop standards.

    The older you get the wider the age differentials tend to get if the guys are in decent shape with a decent job.

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  • Well, if you were a kinky somewhat fit dominant woman, it would be easier for you to find someone.

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    • 1mo

      Well by the few men lucky enough to sleep with me, I've been told I'm too much for them to handle in the bedroom (kink wise that is). I prefer to be the dominant one, and not so fit, but working on it (freaking thyroid).

    • 1mo

      I suggest mostly eating cereal for 4 days per week and have the weekend and Wednesday off, then do some cardio (or get an exercise bike). Once you are fit, it really should be easier to find a guy since you like being dominant.
      Guys that want a dominant woman for a long term relationship (not a hook up) find it difficult to find one.

    • 1mo

      Y3ah have you seen the carbs in cereal. Trust me trying to starve myself did more long term damage than eating. Honestly if a guy doesn't want me based on the fact that I can't help my weight to a large extent (took 10 years to find a Dr to help me and believe that I had a problem) and that I eat healthy as I can (low carbs no sugar in two yeara) and go to the gym regularly to stay as healthy as possible then why even bother with him.

  • first

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