I was arguing with my friend about this. She says that no one should put effort in the relationship and that the relationship should be easy and enjoyable.
I was saying the opposite, the reason why we put effort is to show the person we like/love that we care about them and that we want them to be happy. If we put no effort into it then there's no relationship.
She said, effort = work and it shouldn't be a chore. So most of the things we do should feel effortless.
Who is right? Are we supposed to out effort into a relationship or not?
- Yes, we have to put effort into it to make it work89%(67)87%(97)Vote81%(30)
- No, we dont have to put effort into it to make it work4%(3)6%(7)Vote11%(4)
Most Helpful Girl
For the love of mankind, please do not listen to your friend. You absolutely have to put work into a relationship, especially if you care about the other person. Just because it's "work" doesn't mean it's a chore.
Learning a new skill (how to play the piano, how to cook, how to paint, whatever) is "work" but if it's a passion, you don't mind the work. It's the same with a relationship. If you don't actually like the person (whether you know it consciously or feel it subconsciously), then yes, putting in the effort does feel like a "chore." But if you're with "the one" - the person you feel like is the best match for you, working on your relationship won't feel like a chore.1