I can't forget what my boyfriend did?

So recently, my boyfriend showed me his texts because i was curious what he and his friends (mostly girls) chat about. And there's this girl he's really close to. And when i opened his texts with her, there were some sexual jokes. And they even exchanged "I love you"s and "I miss you"s. I got REALLY hurt and sad because i think he's supposed to say those to only me. So now my boyfriend knows how i feel and he assured me that he only says that as a friend and he only loves me. He said that he says i love you in a friend way as well. But I don't know, it really affects me. He told me that he will stop saying that to friends and only to me. I don't know if i shld trust him or not, but he told me that he's going to keep a distance from the girl to prevent me from worrying. But now the thing is that whatever he said to another girl can't get off my head. Whenever he texts me "i love you" or "i miss you", the texts he sent to that girl will come back to my mind and I'll be really affected. And whenever he says sweet stuff like "i wish you were here" i automatically link it to that girl and think if he says that to her as well. i really dont know what to do. im afraid that this will affect our relationship. sometimes it's hard for me to reply his "i love you"s and "i miss you"s now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • To me it depends on how often they say it to one another. If it's like, a daily thing... that's not okay. If it's a one off, once a month, whatever... then it's fine. I've said that to both guy and female friends.

    • he told me he says that once in a while - not often. the thing is it really affects me tho. shldnt he only love me...

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    • Neglecting you has nothing to do with her, it has to do with him not properly prioritizing you.

      And no, those aren't "just flirting". It CAN be flirting, but can be doesn't always mean is. You can't expect him to change for you though, either you deal with how he is or you learn from the situation and find someone who agrees with your mindset.

    • he told me he's going to change and he has alr did. now the thing is that i can't get over it

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well... Just saying, he really seems like a complete player to me. I mean, even if he and that other girl were close etc he shouldn't have been messaging her like that while he's dating you, that's not right. And you said it yourself, you aren't sure whether to trust him or not, and that in itself is a bad sign. If you're already questioning whether to even trust him, then it's pretty much already almost over. Relationships are built off of trust, trust is the foundation. If there's not even trust, there can never be anything stable built on top of it. Go with your heart, you're the one who knows him, not me. If you feel uncomfortable around him now, you should just breakup with him since those feelings most likely won't ever go away. If you feel fine and normal, stay with him and things will eventually fix themselves!

    • @probablytooomature

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    • i dont really hang out with him and his female friends so im not sure. and im not uncomfortable or anything. im just not sure if i shld trust him or not when he told me that he'll stop texting girls that.

    • Yeah I get ya! Well, I'd try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but if he does something to make you question your trust in him and your relationship, then maybe he's not the one for you.. Because if he doesn't realize that this stuff makes you feel a bit dodgey about him, he should be more careful and concerned. But as of right now, I'd just be a bit cautious, but I think it'll be okay!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I say that to platonic female friends. The sexual innuendo I avoid when in a relationship. Answer mine?

    • if your girlfriend tells you that she feels hurt and worried when you say that to another girl, what will you do?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think that if it hurts your feelings he needs to choose what's more important - being able to say those things to her or maintaining a relationship with you. And he has chosen, you've said he agreed not to say it anymore.
    He has done all he can, apologised for hurting your feelings and changing his behaviour to make you feel better so I'm not sure what else you want?

    • sigh I don't know what i want as well

    • Then you can't be mad at him

    • tbh. im just annoyed and sad because i feel that he doesn't think about my feelings. i told him that im worried about something going on bet. him and that girl. so he told me that he's going to stop the ily and imy shit. and that he'll keep a distance. but the thing is they still text and i still see snapchats from her to him. if he really cares about me and doesn't want me to worry about all these, shouldn't he break off all contact with that girl and stop contacting her? why are they even still talking when he knows im worried AND hurt.