Is it bad that I say to my boyfriend that I find other guys attractive?

I only say this because I think that they look attractive but I would never hook up with them or anything like that and plus I mainly say this about celebrities.


1|0
9|18

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's insecure and feels you're "too good for him", he won't think it's okay and may often get mad when you do this. He may also get secretly mad and bottle it up. If he's a confident guy, it won't bother him and he may comment or tell you his opinion about that guy.

    If it's a celebrity, it shouldn't matter either way. Most people have celebrity crushes but we can't say for sure how he feels. Every guy's different.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      You see I'm his first girlfriend and he's a bit insecure so I'm hoping I not doing anything bad. I've dated a few guys and they were more confident in a relationship than him obviously so I haven't had any times where a guy didn't appreciate me also finding other guys attractive. He has told me before he's gotten jealous of other guys especially my male friends, but he realised that it was nothing to worry about. I'm just not sure if I'm doing the right thing...

    • 1mo

      Just ask him if he minds you mentioning other hot guys. He may lie and say it's okay but at least he can never use it against you since he gave you the okay.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. There's nothing inherently wrong in being open with each other about how, just because you're in a relationship, your attraction to other people has not magically vanished. Granted that you guys are both cool with it and trust that this attraction would never progress to anything more than admiration, it's fine. My boyfriend and I have been pretty damn open about things like that from basically the start of our relationship. 👌

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 17

  • Depends. How are you saying it, what are you pointing out and who are you saying it about.

    Celebs are usually safe, everyone finds them attractive and there is little to no chance that one will take you away from him. People around you are another matter, the closer they are to you the worse it is.

    How are you saying it. Are you making a factual statement. "Brad Pitt has good bone structure." or "Just think of the things I would do with him if we were ever alone." Big difference.

    What are you pointing out. If your man has skinny arms and you are always pointing out how big and sexy another mans arms are, that is a problem. If you are pointing out that the guy looks hansom in that suit, not a big deal.

    Bottom line, how would you react if he said the same thing about someone? How would you feel if he said the same kind of things about a girl that was hitting on him?

    Always be careful about saying something that can hurt or build a wall between you, because that hurt and that wall never goes away no matter what you do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it's ok as long as you don't say it all the time, you don't drool over them, and you still tell your boyfriend that he's attractive. And obviously if you don't cheat.
    You're always gonna find other men attractive, he also finds other women attractive, but the way you approach this is important, cause you don't him thinking that you would ditch him if you could find a hotter man.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not bad if you explain it to him. It's natural/normal that you would. You just have to also stress that HE is what's MOST important to you and that you'd never cheat or anything and that's he's the sexiest of them all (even if not true). Think if it was the other way around, you'd want him to say this to you right?

    0|0
    0|0
  • "I only say this because I think that they look attractive"

    That's not a reason to say it. Would you like it if he started commenting on how hot all the other girls are? Like just because you think something doesn't mean you need to say it, you need to think how the other person feels too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Well if he found other girls attractive it wouldn't ever bother me because he isn't hooking up with them

    • 1mo

      That's beside the point, and I can guarantee you that he does find other girls attractive but why would he need to say that to you?

      Like my ex made really bad risotto once, does that mean that I have to tell her that "wow this risotto is fucking horrible", no it doesn't have some common sense.

  • finding other people attractive is only human

    as for pointing it out to your SO... well maybe they are a bit sensitive to that :D

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well... it's the reason I dumped my first girlfriend so yea.

    Hasn't anyone taught you basic respect for others?

    0|1
    0|0
    • 1mo

      I respect my boyfriend. I love the guy. Just because I can say a celebrity is attractive or find a stranger to be attractive (Someone I won't ever see again) doesn't mean I don't respect him and I don't care if he found another girl attractive because honestly there are better looking girls than me so i don't care I'd only care if he kissed her or something along those lines. And I'd expect he same from him

    • 1mo

      It's perfectly normal to find others attractive while being in a relationship. You don't vocalize certain things though because you have no idea how others will take them.

      There are guys (such as myself) that find this sort of thing extremely disrespectful, especially in a public place.

      Hope this helps

  • In my opinion, Id be ok with it. As long as the girl doesn'T mind that I say the same about attractive women. But dont over do it, and make sure you let your boyfriend know how attractive he is to you. Or ask him if it bothers him. Its human nature, we all have eyes, we are allowed to use them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • other people don't turn ugly just because you enter a relationship. nothing wrong with admitting that someone else is attractive, just don't shove it in your partners face all the time and make it sounds like they look much better than him

    0|0
    0|0
  • well yea it is bad, it made your boyfriend think that he's not attractive enough for you, but its also not bad too if you meant that you find them attractive plus your boyfriend too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      I find my boyfriend more attractive than the other guys 😊 and I tell him that just so I don't hurt I'm cause I don't want to do that at all

    • 1mo

      hmm then its alright, its not bad at all.

  • yes it does matter,
    what if he says the same to other girls, you'll get pissed or feel jealous, it's just the same for him

    0|1
    0|0
  • Just don't become a hypocrite when he points out a girl he thinks is attractive

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yea, keep it to yourself. How would you feel if he kept telling you how hot other girls were?

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it bothers him, it bothers him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just makes me wonder kind of where your heads at. Then I see your age, and I'm like, oh, makes sense

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're more likely to cheat. You don't know the meaning of faithfulness. Discredited. GTFOH

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes it's bad. When you tell someone that it can make them think that you'd rather be with that person then them even if you don't. It's ok to be attracted to other people, just don't tell your boyfriend that unless you plan on dumping him for that person.

    0|1
    0|0
  • no... everyone's like that

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 8

  • Silence is Golden, @Sakura99. You don't want to Hurt his Feelings and cause Ill Dealings with your Relationship Here, dear.
    It's Best from the Rest to just Not Say Certain things. How would you like this if He did this to you?
    Good luck and Welcome to Gag Town. xx

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      See personally I wouldn't care if he found another girl attractive as I'm aware that there are heaps of attractive girls out there

    • 1mo

      You may not be th ejealous type but you don't know though, unless he would begin by saying this. However, maybe on his own end, he would not care to hear in hi sown ear how you feel. xx

  • You're young so you don't really know any better so let's reverse the situation. How would you feel if your boyfriend was like "wow she's hot!" when you guys were out and he saw another girl?

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Well he doesn't do that.. he's not the type of guy to publicise that he finds someone attractive he hides how he feels unless he magically gains the confidence to tell. So if he did that I wouldn't mind I'd be shocked cause that's not in his nature but I still wouldn't care because he isn't doing anything like cheating

  • It's really normal. You don't stop finding other people attractive just because you're in a relationship.

    However, if you're talking about specific guys (like seeing a random guy on the street and telling your boyfriend that he's attractive), that could be considered rude.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be careful. At that age boys egos can be quite fragile. Actually, at all ages boys egos can be quite fragile.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Yes I would think so. I would be empathetic and respectful of His feelings and I would never say that I found others more attractive. That's just rude. If he did it to me, I would be angry too so I would treat him how I want to be treated.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well it's kinda bad. Some people are different tho. But even if you found someone attractive I wouldn't say it because it's not really worth it, it may start an argument or trust issues etc

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not to me, as long as you're not gawking or saying it every time a nice looking guy walks by. I feel it's more lenient when you're talking about your day or someone in your day. Now it's bad if you've cheated before or if your guy is super insecure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Close ans serious relations often generate jealousy in such matters.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...